If every day is supposed to be a war, how am I supposed to find this love that I'm looking for?

May 14, 2006 00:18

My scars feel like they are ripping into me. A cashier at Giant asked me what happened and Scott blurted out, "Tree." I thought to myself, "No tree is that cruel." Only people have the capacity for that kind of cruelty, I am fairly certain. Nothing else, animal, plant, water, earth, or fire's ever hurt me as badly as I've hurt myself or as ( Read more... )

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Comments 18

mmm_jillicious May 14 2006, 15:28:23 UTC
you looked elegant and beautiful at junior banquet. I wish I had tried to pull you and Scott onto the floor earlier, because that dress deserved to be danced in.

I hope you're proud of yourself for being clean, because you should be. coming from me, that might sound weird or semi-hypocritical, but really, you should be. It sucks (for lack of a better word) that doubt and gossip are surrounding the choices you've made, but hopefully the people who matter most to you understand. Perhaps, eventually, that will be enough?

see you tomorrow,
<3 Jill

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sentimentalsway May 15 2006, 20:21:28 UTC
Thank you. I did enjoy being in that dress and those gloves and those pearls...
I am a little bit proud at times, but for the most part, I can't really revel in that feeling because it is still such a struggle. It is enough for the people who matter to me to understand, but some of them (unfortunately) do not.

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sunnyd137 May 14 2006, 16:05:22 UTC
Tis not creepy.

Also the drive in was much cooler than I expected. Yea!

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sentimentalsway May 15 2006, 20:26:53 UTC
It was pretty cool, except for me getting left in the car with a certain two cuddling people. That was only somewhat left of awkward.

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La La sunnyd137 May 15 2006, 22:14:21 UTC
I'm always third wheel; it's awkward as hell.

The worst is when they expect you to engage in conversation with them while randomly deciding to makeout then groping each other all while you're supposed to be discussing the weather or something

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Re: La La sentimentalsway May 15 2006, 23:18:28 UTC
I am rather rarely a third wheel, and I don't often make other people into them, either.

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sagemessalina May 14 2006, 23:28:25 UTC
You're still in my thoughts.

Be strong, babe.

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sentimentalsway May 15 2006, 20:21:58 UTC
And you in mine. Thank you.

p.s. haverford is my dream school. .

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birthpains May 15 2006, 01:29:54 UTC
Cling to each other, like pigeons in the rain.

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sentimentalsway May 15 2006, 20:26:23 UTC
It's sure as hell raining now.

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zeherah May 15 2006, 03:40:53 UTC
you looked so beautiful at banquet. i know we only talk here and there and i'm not privy to most of your life but you seem content and you made jokes at me and giggled even though i was awkward as hell and i wanted to hug you when you talked about your shoulders.

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sentimentalsway May 15 2006, 20:26:01 UTC
Thank you, very much. I'd like to see you more often that I do, but to be honest, you seem very out of reach. If it makes you feel any better, your awkwardness did not make me uncomfortable. I don't remember what I said about my shoulders, but they have an awful lot of scars.

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