I am ignoring it. Father's day never bothers me and I never pay attention to it. That probably isn't very nice but...well...we never celebrated Father's day when I was a kid nor my parents birthdays for that matter. Hmmm isn't that weird. In any case it is sort of a non-holiday for me. Glad you are trying to reconcile things for yourself. I will try to call u later. hugs!!
i wish i had written that. i forgot to put that in quotes, but it's "not ready to make nice" by the dixie chicks. wonderful song, wonderful album...none of it written by me. :)
i sent a card, also using "i" statements. and stuck to true things: i do hope that he has a good day that day. i do love him. i don't wish i were there, or anything like that, so i didn't say that.
i also didn't sign it, as using my current name would be a slap in the face to him, and using my old name, i can't bring myself to do it.
yeah. i can sympathize a lot with being in the middle. i only used the initials i had when i was little, before i was adopted & my last name was changed. i didn't want to use my step-dad's last name, and i couldn't sign it bella...so...
i sent it already, so too late now, but i like it that you were just...honest. (this is a novel idea for me, clearly.) that you didn't address any "issues" in the card, just played nice...with honesty.
i sound like a simple little being. i know. it's just that i'm learning not to absorb all the ickiness of a given situation. i'm rambling. i'll stop. just...thank you.
nah, i get it. i wrote things i didn't mean on these cards for years, i probably still do many times -- lying about some things is just a strong coping/survival mechanism still. anyway, glad if these thoughts were of some help.
He called me and I forgot it was "his special day". I realised about 5 mintues after the conversation ended so I wrote him a quick 4 line e-mail. He replies with something to the effect of "I know I haven't been the best of husband or father but it was a lack of understanding not a lack of good intentions."
I was rather taken aback and didn't reply back to it.
my father *did* send a birthday card, but didn't even mention his father's day card. however, since we're still not talking and he has NEVER given me a birthday card, i'd tend to think he got it.
beautiful beautiful beautiful (poem) this really moved me. not talking to a parent is in some ways so much worse than having a parent who has died. well it's different and has its own troubles. i know what you mean about it being easier if you don't love someone. i have often wondered WHY we love people who either do not love us, or have hurt us so terribly? i think it is a both a good redeeming thing that love endures but also very painful and hard. thank you for this post and poem it is really beautiful.
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i also didn't sign it, as using my current name would be a slap in the face to him, and using my old name, i can't bring myself to do it.
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i sent it already, so too late now, but i like it that you were just...honest. (this is a novel idea for me, clearly.) that you didn't address any "issues" in the card, just played nice...with honesty.
i sound like a simple little being. i know. it's just that i'm learning not to absorb all the ickiness of a given situation. i'm rambling. i'll stop. just...thank you.
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I was rather taken aback and didn't reply back to it.
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half-ass "apologies" make me so damn mad...
my father *did* send a birthday card, but didn't even mention his father's day card. however, since we're still not talking and he has NEVER given me a birthday card, i'd tend to think he got it.
but probably will never GET IT.
you know? (it sounds like you might...)
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this really moved me.
not talking to a parent is in some ways so much worse than having a parent who has died. well it's different and has its own troubles.
i know what you mean about it being easier if you don't love someone. i have often wondered WHY we love people who either do not love us, or have hurt us so terribly? i think it is a both a good redeeming thing that love endures but also very painful and hard.
thank you for this post and poem it is really beautiful.
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