Things are better for the time being. I bounced back well, not holding a grudge too badly. He has not been drinking today and doesn't seem too eager to do so either. That could change in a matter of hours and even minutes, I know, but I'm holding on to the moment. This moment is good ( Read more... )

He is drinking again. Fourth day in a row. I kind of knew that this was going to happen. It's a rare alcoholic who manages to quit and never once fail. I hope this is his one fail and we can go back to making plans for the future ( Read more... )

As you might guess, the number one thing I'm still trying to get my head around, is my friend's boyfriend killing a man. It's there in my mind, all the time. It's there when I cook for the kids. It's there when I watch a movie. It's there when I try to fall asleep at night ( Read more... )

I found out today that my friend's boyfriend (it is a bit unclear to me if he is current or ex) killed his sister's husband a couple of days ago ( Read more... )

As I wrote earlier, I am trying to learn to like myself again. I'm willing to do whatever it takes and try different methods and since I am quite fond of Gala's blog, I'm now trying to follow her advice. She is quite inspirational (& sparkly), you know ( Read more... )

Last night I took a sleeping pill, one that my fiance has been prescribed, and I actually got up at 8am feeling only slightly tired as anyone would. The pill was some natural remedy that helps you fall asleep, not the proper stuff that puts you under right away. Fiance took care of the baby's nightime feedings and I could've just slept right ( Read more... )

I used to love myself. I remember that in high school I was this annoying advocate of loving oneself that I'm afraid I bored everyone to death with my manifesto. You see, I've never been a skinny girl. I've never been this big that I'm now either and come to think of it, I believe I was never as fat when I was young as I thought I were. ( Read more... )

Yeah. Been having them a bit too consistently lately. About a week now ( Read more... )

Things are looking better for a change. It feels funny to look around and feel something other than despair and sadness. If I didn't know better, I'd liken these current feelings to something similar to safety and perhaps even happiness. And there's so much energy left over to do other things when I don't have to worry all the time ( Read more... )

Last December I think I finally became an adult ( Read more... )