it feels like last time. i'm putting the effort and trying to see her and talk to her, but she's holding back. and now on the day when she said i could see her, she's spending her time with someone else. hopefully she'll call me soon and say she's free, but in the meantime i feel like crap. with anyone else i'd just call lauren or allen and go hang ( Read more... )

i know i did it again. mami is really into me but after some revelations from me last night we decided to have an open relationship, or be fuck buddies or something similar i'm not really sure cuz i've never done this before. but this morning i'm glad we decided this cuz i just found trish again,  and rosa told me that trish does want to hear from ( Read more... )

i just came in from the backyard. i was sitting in a chair, my feet up, smoking and listening to the wind. my dogs laying at my feet. peace. wow.     i haven't had that sense of peace in so long. i've had non-stop stress and anxiety. wondering how i'm going to afford this or that. if i'm gonna be able to pay my own way thru college.   it was nice ( Read more... )

ok so i wasn't gonna do this cuz i don't be up in anyways grill or nothing. lol. but every time i thought about it i just got pissed. so fuck it, here i am back after i don't know how fucking long. but i thought i'd better take it out here than on my family or one of my girls. so here it goes.   in the last few weeks of my relationship with my ex, ( Read more... )

the feeling of total completion between 2 beings would be perfection.

hey if anyone wants to go paintballing with me next thursday give me a call or email me. it going to be at winkey doodles. http://www.winkeydoodles.com/ right there. it's only 20 dollar for the gear all day. and u might want to bring another $15 for extra paintballs depending how long we ( Read more... )

i'm in some kind of funk, the only words i can think of to describe it is a love depression. don't ask what that means cuz i don't know, that's just how i feel. anyways here's a song that i really love right now ( Read more... )

hello all, i will understand if none of u remember me, i know it's been a long long time since i updated. lol. well things are going ok if not swell. i lost my job at redcats and have been looking for a replacement job for a while now although currently i haven't been doing too much looking cuz i kinda had a teeny lapse into depression and i've ( Read more... )

had a really good albeit totally unproductive weekend. spent it all with ingrid. can't wait till i can live with her. i want her nearby to sleep with. still trying to figure out what to do about the lil one. don't want to cut off all ties, don't even know if i can. but i do know i have to do something. perrin's almost 4 months old, he's twice as ( Read more... )

i think i like it but i'm extremely sad and missing ingrid a whole lot. wish me luck. i love you guys but i have no life and no time to write about it sry.