LJIdol Feedback Post

[serpentpixie]

Morning kids!

So, this week we have to re-write the one of the three entries from earlier: the entry that was ranked lowest by the other contestants. In my case it is TurtlesI'm putting this post here so that I can get feedback from you guys on it

Comments

[hellboy]

GAH, this entry was actually my favourite, so. idk, idk, idk. It could be more fleshed out, perhaps? Longer, like the entry it's an offshoot of? IDK, I LIKED IT TOO MUCH TO MAKE ANY COMMENTS THAT DO NOT CONTAIN FLAILING DDDDDD:

*snugs* ♥

[serpentpixie]

Hey, flailing is okay :D I'm sure plenty of other people will have non-flailing, so your flailing is quite alright :D
Also "It could be more fleshed out" is totally useful so you do know ;)
<3

[comedychick]

I'm not really good at the feedback stuff, but I can offer some thoughts about why it might've got 3rd place:
a) Length (I think some people have issues with "short" entries)
b) It was similar to something else you'd done before, since it was a companion piece.

I can't remember where I ranked this one. I think it might've been in 2nd. I recall your nonfic piece was my favourite, though.

[serpentpixie]

Hey that's decent enough feedback!!
Yeah, definitely. I think it feels "incomplete", rather than "short & perfectly crafted" which makes a massive difference. It's kind of first-draftish, so it doesn't quite work in and of itself.

[fourzoas]

Note: Since you indicated that you're ready for feedback, I'm just shooting straight from the hip. If you were my student and in my office for a consultation, this is pretty much what I'd say, although my comments might shift depending upon the way the conversation moved as we spoke

[serpentpixie]

This is bang on what I wanted - Thank you!!
<3

[fourzoas]

You're welcome--I'm glad I could be of help!

[teaberryblue]

Okay, to be perfectly honest, I didn't think any of your entries this week were very strong. I don't know if it's because you were rushed what with thesis and three entries all at once, or what, but they just felt really dashed off to me. I don't mean that as a reflection of your talent because it's not. It just seemed to me like none of these were your personal best.

One thing with this one is that you revisited an entry you'd already done, and in a very mimicky way that didn't add anything new to what you'd done before. It could have just been an excerpt from that earlier entry, and it didn't really stand alone on its own-- if I hadn't read the earlier entry, I'd have no idea what was going on.

If it were me? I'd move completely away from this approach and strip it down to maybe looking at the basic evolutionary strengths and weaknesses of turtles, and then re-build an entry from there, probably without the re-used graphics from your last entry.

[serpentpixie]

I wouldn't disagree with that. I lost a lot of my rewrite time for my thesis rewrite. Since my entries are made in the rewrite... yeah.
LOL.

This is useful - thank you :)