It's been a month

[sestree]

I know it will get easier.

I'm over the anger
I'm over the guilt (mostly)
I'm getting over the 'fragile' feeling
I'm slowly getting over the 'hollow' feeling.

Mostly now I'm just sad.

Such an underrated little word to explain such a profound feeling.

Sad.

I know it will get easier with time.

Comments

[madam_macaw]

Hugs sweetie.

[sestree]

Thanks sweetie.

I swear my emotions are all over the map today. Days like today make me want to phone in for pharmaceuticals.

It *is* getting better though.

[dashrippington]

It is difficult... to be sure. I lost mine at the end of October... and I still have sadness. Even last night I got caught up in it.

[sestree]

It's hard isn't it?

I keep finding notes she wrote - usually demanding notes (this was The Wild Granny after all) -- but I see them and I just well up.

[reggiemental]

It IS hard, but as you've said, it will be easier with time. Your heart starts to heal and you think back on good times and life lessons learned.

I have a "Chores list" hanging in my office from my Dad. It was the last written thing I had from him, so I kept it. Not only sentimental for being the "last thing" from him, but for entertainment. He would always have chores for me to do around the house for him, and would/still joke about it.

Hugs sweets :)

[sestree]

How neat.

I've not been able to toss the stuff like that out either -- all the notes from the hospital. I will in time but it's sad to know our last conversations were on paper because of her hoarseness (which was probably esophogael cancer looking back but who the hell knows) which made it easier to write.

[sweetpea86]

When I see you in April, I'm going to make up for the hugs I've missed giving you since Faire ended.

And you're right. Those three letters carry so much meaning when arranged in that fashion.

xoxo

[sestree]

Thanks hon - you're right those little letters carry a LOT of weight.

..and yes I'll collect on those hugs - promise.

However it *is* getting better -- Edison Lighthouse is in the house. That always helps :)

[pyratelady]

I'm glad that it is getting better, and especially if you feel it getting better.

Hang in there... hugs to you.

[sestree]

That's true. How I know it's getting better is I'm not wandering around like a lost puppy.

My brain still isn't at 100% but that's ok - it deserves a break.

Thank you :)

[mdrf_lumpy]

*hugs*

[sestree]

Thanks sweetie.

btw - closer to faire I'll get with you and a few others so we can try to do a cider toast down at the Dragon. I've probably mentioned it before ... see post above ... my brain ain't exactly on all cylinders at the moment.

Hope to see you before then of course.