Asexual Awareness Week

[setos_puppy]

In honour of the week, I’m opening the floor to my followers - yes, even you - to ask me any and all questions about my personal stance on asexuality, my asexuality, asexuality in general, and other gray-a sexuals, such as demisexuals.

Ask away!

Comments

[averzierlia]

for you personally, what does asexuality mean?

[setos_puppy]

Good question!

For me, personally, asexuality means I don't have the urge for, or see the need to engage in physical intimacy. I understand current sociological and biological imperatives to do so, but it just baffles me. I do on occasion, feel a sexual urge, but they're usually few and far between.

I find it interesting that many people are shocked to learn I masturbate, but it isn't a daily, or even weekly occurring.

I don't see the need for kissing, either. Especially open mouthed kissing. I mean, when you think about describing kissing to someone who has no idea of what it is, it sounds completely disgusting!

I see asexuality as a fluid spectrum of people who occasionally engage in sexual activity to people who don't engage in any, and sometimes don't even masturbate.

/long answer was convoluted and strange.

[averzierlia]

No that totally makes sense :) That's how I always thought of it, actually: someone who doesn't see or feel the need to engage in a sexual act with another person

[setos_puppy]

That makes total sense to me. Sex is kind of strange and scary.

As for your second question (and wow your questions are amazing). I don't necessarily think that's true. I think personal appearance and aesthetic are separate from sex drive. Yes it may have some play, but not all of it. My partner prides their self on looking good, feeling good, and presenting well, it has no sexual pull behind it (ace as well), but I think it's a social convention.

We're social creatures and even asexuals (not so much aromantics) feel the need to be emotionally intimate with someone. And be close to friends and family. So while certain things may not be the top of your list, such as bikini waxing, I think an outward focus on appearance is just inevitable due to being human.

Then again, I tend not to put much thought into my appearance because I don't give a shit. But I do think about the way people perceive me, perhaps too much. But that's just me.

[haldoor]

What's a demisexual?

[setos_puppy]

A demisexual person is a person halfway between being sexual (or feeling the urge to engage in intercourse/procreate) and someone whose asexual (someone who doesn't feel that urge). Demi's usually see sex as a very sacred, intimate thing. They only feel a sexual urge after being with the same person for a prolonged period of time, and have a deep emotional connection with that person.

I've heard about demisexuals who feel a sexual pull towards only one person, and just that one person. And no one else.

[haldoor]

Thanks - that's very interesting.

[emocezi]

Lol. What's your favourite type of cookie. :p

[setos_puppy]

I fucking love you

Strawberry shortbread

[tripperfunster]

Okay, I have a few asexuals on my flist and have wondered about the masturbation thing, but never had a proper opportunity to ask. Thanks for answering it anyway

[setos_puppy]

hai gurl hai long time no talk!

And no, you didn't offend me. I'm pretty hard to offend.

I think my lack of sex drive is probably hormonal, I know some people have tried to place it on childhood sexual trauma, but mine happened around and post puberty, with the exception of something when I was seven, so I know my lack of sex drive didn't happen because of that. I actually have very high testosterone levels, and as such, should have a high sex drive, according to medical professionals, anyway. But I don't never have.

Usually I'm ramped up a few days before my cycle and about my third day in. Then I drop off again.

*shrug*

Or maybe I'm trying to sound like I know my body when really it's just doing it's thing.

let me tell you the fun times of the doctors listing lack of libido as a symptom

[tripperfunster]

Ugh, if sexual trauma caused asexuality, there wouldn't be any women who liked sex at all. ;)

Doctor visits are always fun. NOT

[setos_puppy]

UGH RIGHT? Not to mention a fair share of men. *facepalms at idiots*

SO FUN.

[revengent]

Cake or pie?

:P

[setos_puppy]

What kind of cake?

What kind of pie?

[averzierlia]

chocolate and chocolate?

[setos_puppy]

They make chocolate pie?