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[settingshadow]

Saturday's good mood seems to have evaporated. I feel achingly lonely, and I can't shake the feeling that it's my fault. That something I have done makes me inherently difficult to get close to. I feel very Emma

Comments

[faerykat]

*poke* call me some time when you're feeling lonely. we need to catch up.

[settingshadow]

Thank you, I will.

[nine_dragonned]

Just because they might not be in the same form forever that doesn't make all closeness worthless or unworthwhile. The schedule catches everyone as they move, you and those around you, all caught in its net. Try to keep in mind that just because a person hasn't seen or heard from you in a long time, and vice versa, that doesn't mean you had to have let go of any closeness. That's a common thing people do, but they don't have to.

All the same, if you want a group of Obies all about closeness and continuation, come along with me to Portland, OR, this New Years and I can introduce you to a good set. Otherwise some of us are always out here a mere email or journal post away, schedules permitting of course. Try not to let that fucking pump get you down, you'll be past it brilliantly soon enough.

[settingshadow]

I know that lack of communication doesn't inevitably lead to lack of closeness. I talk to my best friend less often than once a month

[nine_dragonned]

That certainly is troublesome, I usually just try to treat things as they were and see how they respond. Not to be cynical about it all, but often people will at least fake it if you present closeness to them and that gives some time for it to redevelop as it was.

Just to say, I share your some of your woes. I'm not much of an opener, even with people who I already do feel close to. At least you have some that you can/do open up with, and moreso you have that boy of yours.

Well, I am hopeful that I'll see you over New Years in Portland, though I admit I'll be in the middle of my Ob/Gyn rotation just then so I'm still waiting to see if I can wrangle that for a long enough visit.

Wow, two more months of heart? Ok, let's hear those books crack open! I'll just go back to these surgical texts here and you can listen to my soul's wail of anguish at the amount of it all...