...take me back to last year and ill sell you my soul...

[sexiekinda]

so here i am...back at lj...altho not like jr year when all we wanted to do was brag about our faaaaaaaaaabulous lives and show all you lurkers how hot we all are...now im back because i dont know where else to go

when kish asked me why i never update i answered because its so depressing everyone will feel suicidal after reading my thoughts...but

Comments

[muzicmann12]

that was really an amazing post christine. i actually read all of it

[sexiekinda]

thanks so much for ur response...altho no physical changes will come of it it is nice to know other peoples thoughts and experiences as well...at least we can get strength through each other...

i like wat u said about how no one else can understand how u feel this way...people have told me it couldnt possibly be like this...that i must be the life of the party with all my girlfriends and tons of guys waiting in life for my number...nice thought...but so far off my reality...

...doesnt it make u wonder wat happened? like how did i become this person...

...im a shadow of who i was...

or maybe i am on the verge of becoming someone else?

who knows but i dont like it and i want this to end...soon...

[hereigo_again]

Christine,
I'm not ready to talk publicly about my life, but I seriously admire you for it. Knowing that you are this unhappy makes me so sad. I know you and I know you are telling the truth when you say that before this you were never truly unhappy.. that kills me.
I don't really have anything profound to say. I know telling you that you aren’t the only person who is miserable won't help because it doesn't make me feel better when people say that. I just want you to know how much I miss you and haven’t forgotten you and hope that things look up for you as the year gets going.
Love Katherine

[standatopabluff]

Hey Christine- This is Jessica, from Leadership from last year. I stumbled across your lj on a friend's friends page. Anyway, I know that I really don't know you at all, but your post still made me sad- I honestly hope things get better for you. Believe me, I know that life isn't always easy, to say the least, but things will get better. Even from our very limited interactions last year, it was obvious that you are a genuinely kind person, and things ALWAYS work out for people who try to do the right thing. You might not know where your going in your life at this point- and, although you probably don't think so right not, thats the way it should be. We're 17, 18- maybe you're 19, but we're young and now is the time to explore around, not to be dedicated to one thing. Those who are too focused are the ones who miss out on the spontenaity that makes life amazing. So, I know that this is a somewhat odd post from a practical stranger, but I wanted to make sure you know that no one has forgotten you. I hope your situation improves, and I

[atireintheface]

i have probably an essay response to this thing.. just want u to know that i read it and i love you
you are so brave

[anonymous]

so, soo refreshingly honest. I felt as if you had written something about my own thoughts and feelings. I have never related this much to anyone before- stay strong. you are so beautiful, inside and out- I promise things will look up. FIRST of all- just try and not take 18 units anymore to start- summer school is NOT bad at all, in fact its way chill and gets stupid classes OUT of the way!! And That way you can make more time for yourself and your relationships. Just trust that friendships will grow and form.. just takes awhile (trust me, im still workin on it and im a sophmore :p)

good luck, enjoy the ride because you only ride it once.