Stingrays and dogs and ducks, oh my!

[sexion8]

Still bored, in case you were wondering.

Anywhore.

As you all know, I don't comment on the news often. When I do, you know it's fucked up. I guess I just figure everyone and their Aunt Fanny are always chiming in with this opinion or that one and I really don't need to be adding my voice to the cacophony.

But this:

Man critically ill after

Comments

[lezopez]

1. I want a Newfie. SO SO SO SO SO BAD.

2. Nani.. is what I call my grandma.

3. Rusty farts all the time. Loud old man farts (the poor dog is 15, for fucks sake!). Me and my parents have decided it is hilarious.

You should write about your doggies more often. They make me happy.

[sexion8]

1.) Newfies are HIGH MAINTENANCE, dude. The hair alone takes a solid hour of brushing...every day...or it will mat up horribly. And if you get him/her professionally groomed, well, I wasn't exaggerating about that $70 price tag. If you have the time (and money) to devote, god, they're worth it.

2.) Nani means "beautiful" in Hawaiian. :)

3.) Not when Rusty pushes up against your face, it wouldn't be! (Or maybe it would and I under-estimated your tolerance factor.)

I love, love, love my dogs. But I learned a long time ago you've got to change up your subject matter or readers get bored. At least mine seem do.

Or maybe I just suck in general and this is the logic I use to make myself feel better.

[lezopez]

Yeah, I openly admit I'm a lazy shit, which is why I WANT a newfie, but will probably never get one. Truth be told, I think me and cats get along best, but I'm all allergic and shit. Maybe... a hamster?

If Rusty ever farted in my FACE... GOD. I dont even want to think. However... your story still made me laugh..

But I learned a long time ago you've got to change up your subject matter or readers get bored. At least mine seem do.

Heh. Dave Barry wrote once, a long time ago, that he had long accepted that his dogs were more popular than he was and that was why he never wrote about them. I have a book around here somewhere...

[tedwords]

You need to post about the news more often!

Do you think, possibly, Mr. Lundgren ingested the family of five, and that's why he's so fat?

[sexion8]

Aye, aye, sir! Maybe I'll start adding a weird news blurb to every update? Might not be a bad idea.

Like some crazy Hannibal Lector/David Koresh hybrid psychopath? Wouldn't put it past him.

I know! We'll forego the bullets, douse him in bloody chum and toss him in a school of hammerheads. It'd be a real shame for a feast like him to go to waste when so many others are starving in the world. We'll say grace beforehand for extra justice!

[tedwords]

Yes, I like the weird news angle.

You could be like that weird Wonder Woman bad guy, the Angle-man! She never really did get a good bunch of supervillians, did she?

[sexion8]

Eh, she got a Greek god or two and a animorph chick named Cheetah on her bad side, but yeah, it was certainly not of Batman/Joker, Supes/Luthor caliber.

[everlastinggoo]

That guy thinks DEATH MY LETHAL INJECTION is cruel and unusual punishment?! Mother fucker should be put on an electric chair, cranked up to 1300 Volts, but with no amperage. Cause its the amperage that kills ya, not the volts. THEN the fucking piece of ass whipe shit will know what cruel and unusual punishment is. You dont kill FIVE FUCKING PEOPLE and then complain about the way the government is going to kill you.

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*BIG BREATH*

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Your dogs are very very cute....I want a Newfoundland soo baddddd...but I can't have one till I get a house. *pouts*

[sexion8]

I knew I should've listened to my mother and just gone to law school. I could've been a district court judge by now and these plea cases wouldn't happen.

Newfoundlands are very, very high maintenance grooming-wise. And they drool. No, they don't just drool, they FLING it every time they shake their heads.

Remember the movie Turner and Hooch? Girl, I'm not even lying.

If you're averse to deep-cleaning your house every two days, or spending hundreds of dollars on professional grooming, or spending hundreds of dollars on large amounts of food they require (they can't eat regular dog food like smaller breeds, their digestive tracts are different), I wouldn't advise getting one.

I adore this breed so very much, which is why I'm extra careful to warn people before they make the mistake of getting one if the breed doesn't fit their lifestyle.

If you can do all this, then they are the best dogs in the world for you. :)

[sexion8]

Oh, you know what I forgot to tell you and now I feel like a complete heel? I'm very, very sorry to hear about your kitten. It sounds like you really loved him and it's not fair that you had to lose him so soon. But you showed your love by putting his quality of life first--it takes courage to let something you love go. :(

[pallid_regina]

Your dogs rock almost as hard as you do. And you KNOW if you were a dog, you'd totally burp in your person's face. Admit it.

[sexion8]

I do it now, whatchoo talkin' about!

J/K. I'm pretty irreverant, but there's a line even I draw.

[darth_snarky]

YAY DOGGIES! MORE DOGGIES! DOGGIES CUTE!

...erm. Neither of my dogs have ever burped at me, but our older dog, Buffy, does a special kind of fart we like to call "blatting"--which is bit juicer and stinkier. She never blats anywhere but upholstered furniture. After clean-up, you still need at least a half-bottle of Febreeze.

Our younger dog's never been near the water, but before we got her, I once took Buffy to the lake. Buffy, after much encouragement from me, eventually jumped in and instantly crawled right back out. Another dog that was swimming gave Buffy a "come play!" look--Buffy's look in response was clearly "Bitch, you crazy."

[sexion8]

Dogs are truly the gods of frolic.

And awwww! I love your Buffy story, you should post more about her! I agree doggies make LJ a better place to be.