well it was fun while it lasted, but it is over now. and i am glad for what didn't happen. i don't regret being with him, but sometimes i wish i had more, but i think it got too serious. He is a partier and i don't think he could be tied down. And that would be why i get to sleep alone, i think i tie people down. i mean i am so getting better with ( Read more... )

ok, awesome weekend. Hanging out with katie and her friends. hockey game which sucked cause we lost. And an awesome party here ( Read more... )

ok so i am gonna update then go to bed....i am going back to school. will be back at 6ish ( Read more... )

omg i hate my mother. she is such a bitch. i hate being home. She gets home and starts bitching at me. I was playing a game and she came in asks me if i heard her beep i said no then she starts complaining that the soup burned because it wasn't stirred. well if the bitch wanted it stired she should have said stir the soup then turn it off.. but no ( Read more... )

ok so i haven't updated in a while. lets see.. christmas didn't really happen because i went on a cruise. it was a lot of fun, could have been more fun if my sister hadn't been a bitch most of the time. i swam with wild stingrays and went shopping and layed in the sun and read my book. it was a good time. i even went on the topless deck on the ( Read more... )

i am so confused now. I just don't understand. I don't know where it came from and i feel so empty. did you get scared? did things move to fast? i don't understand. I was not expecting this. what did i do wrong? WHy can't we be together. i don't inderstand. i am so empty and sick and confused. But i don't have the guts to ask. i don't dare talk to ( Read more... )

why do i have to be dependent on people. why do i just crumble knowing there is noone there to keep me from falling?? Why do i want to die most of the time?? i know that dieing would be a very bad thing and i know that i would be missed but it is really hard not speaking to someone that i have spoken to everyday for prolly more than 5 months. why ( Read more... )

i am so frustrated with him. he got upset with me last night because i woke him up but how was i supposed to know he had ACT in the morning he didn't tell me. And now he hasn't spoken to me. and it is really starting to bother me. like he just doesn't care. like he doesn't think about me or doesn't care either. i want him to want to talk to me. to ( Read more... )

i am so depressed. And it is so random. I don't even know why i got like this. things are fine and then i just want to die and i hate myself and i am sick and want to vomit. And my boyfriend doesn't even know why he is dating me. My life is so miserable. I hate being dependent on people to make me happy. i seriously can't make myself happy. i need ( Read more... )

i have all of these fears running through my head lately i need to get them out. This was triggered by my dream last night. My mom sent me and email yesturday with these horid pictures of a girl who was burned and mutalated in a drunk driving accident. apparently that image stuck in my head because i had a dream that a man that looked the way this ( Read more... )