Hamster Wheel 1/4, John/Rodney, humiliation, d/S
anonymous
September 11 2010, 05:22:38 UTC
He never knows how Rodney will do it. The few other people John's trusted with this side of him have always had to have a script. They wanted to draw lines that they wouldn't cross, have safewords, schedule the encounter. Not Rodney. That's part of the appeal, if there can be said to be an appeal to the game Rodney plays with John. Sometimes it isn't a game; sometimes they're in public and Rodney doesn't even know he's doing it to John
( ... )
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 17
anonymous
February 17 2011, 21:50:26 UTC
I second this. 'No one thing defines me as a person.' John's been thinking just that for so long, it doesn't matter if the shrink meant it as a comfort to Denny or aimed it at John (I don't believe the latter - it just hits to close to home. The guilty flee when no man pursueth, right?).
Still holding out for the happy ending for John, even if it isn't a John/Rodney one.
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 17
anonymous
February 18 2011, 03:47:03 UTC
Go John! Talk to someone! You don't have to feel crappy about yourself all the time! I think a lot of people could stand to hear that as a truth: Really. You don't have to feel bad about yourself all the time. That can change.
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 17
anonymous
February 18 2011, 04:30:08 UTC
I really like the directions you've been taking this. I'm glad you panned back from John and Rodney, because it's a given that their relationship is not perfect. In the real world, your relationships with others help make up the shortfalls in your primary relationship, and I feel like that's what you're showing us here. It's a kind of realism that's neglected in romance writing, and I'm enjoying John having positive interaction with others. Even Woolsey: I count that conversation as positive because John was able to tell him what was wrong in a mostly honest way
( ... )
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 17
anonymous
February 18 2011, 09:25:37 UTC
Hmm. I'm intrigued about where John's going with his: "I guess I'm wondering if there's anything else that just... works."
I'm kind of with him though about Dr. Esguerra's tactics. She does seem to be trying to work with him surreptitiously, to me. Which is not quite kosher, if so.
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 17
anonymous
February 18 2011, 10:09:57 UTC
Since I'm writing from John's POV, this point is probably ambiguous at best, so I will go ahead and clarify that she really wasn't targeting John. (Or such was my authorial intent, anyway.)
Earlier when she asked him what he would say to Denny about his sense of responsibility, she really was anticipating that Denny might ask something like that if she brought John in on another open-ended talk session. And her self-talk exercises for Denny are about dealing with his guilt and shame over the accident. Guilt and shame are huge issues for John, so he takes it personally, but it wasn't aimed at him. I find it hard to show her sincerity, though, with his POV dominating the text.
I also want to say, thank you for commenting. I feel really lucky to get feedback on these parts as they go up. It's very encouraging to get such thoughtful responses, and I'm grateful.
Merry Go Round Broke Down 18
anonymous
February 18 2011, 12:30:52 UTC
"There are techniques that most anyone can benefit from," she says. "Relaxation. Coping with stress. Self-talk, meditation. Creative visualization
( ... )
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 18korilianFebruary 20 2011, 18:06:22 UTC
Now that he's learning how to get some distance and evaluate his own thoughts, now that he's making himself work through it, some things are starting to seem embarrassingly obvious.
Are they the same things that seem obvious to the rest of us? Can't wait to find out!
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Still holding out for the happy ending for John, even if it isn't a John/Rodney one.
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Very apropos, yes! Thank you for your feedback. I'm grateful for the thoughtful responses.
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I'm kind of with him though about Dr. Esguerra's tactics. She does seem to be trying to work with him surreptitiously, to me. Which is not quite kosher, if so.
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Earlier when she asked him what he would say to Denny about his sense of responsibility, she really was anticipating that Denny might ask something like that if she brought John in on another open-ended talk session. And her self-talk exercises for Denny are about dealing with his guilt and shame over the accident. Guilt and shame are huge issues for John, so he takes it personally, but it wasn't aimed at him. I find it hard to show her sincerity, though, with his POV dominating the text.
I also want to say, thank you for commenting. I feel really lucky to get feedback on these parts as they go up. It's very encouraging to get such thoughtful responses, and I'm grateful.
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Are they the same things that seem obvious to the rest of us? Can't wait to find out!
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Thanks for reading!
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