Hamster Wheel 1/4, John/Rodney, humiliation, d/S
anonymous
September 11 2010, 05:22:38 UTC
He never knows how Rodney will do it. The few other people John's trusted with this side of him have always had to have a script. They wanted to draw lines that they wouldn't cross, have safewords, schedule the encounter. Not Rodney. That's part of the appeal, if there can be said to be an appeal to the game Rodney plays with John. Sometimes it isn't a game; sometimes they're in public and Rodney doesn't even know he's doing it to John
( ... )
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 22
anonymous
March 8 2011, 23:50:25 UTC
Oh man, I love this. I'm going to give up reading fanfic for Lent, but I might have to sneak back here to see if there's more yet. I don't think I could go 40 days and not know what happens next.
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 22
anonymous
March 10 2011, 23:18:28 UTC
Of course I snuck back. But I got a lot done yesterday, including my taxes, without being hardcore about the ban, so I'm happy with myself. I'm not Catholic, anyway.
I love the new parts. John's emotional mess is gut-level logical; I understand where his head is, and I think it's fun that he's not telling anything to Dr. Esquerra and still making progress. Thank you for taking your time writing and making this so good.
Merry Go Round Broke Down 23
anonymous
March 10 2011, 11:25:46 UTC
In the months after his mother died, John saw his father even less often than before. When he did, it was kind of a production, John's nanny and the housekeeper both fussing over him, making him bathe and change clothes, wetting his hair down and wringing their hands over his cowlicks before presenting him to his father
( ... )
Merry Go Round Broke Down 24
anonymous
March 10 2011, 11:27:40 UTC
"You can only trust me if I'm honest with you." Dr. Esguerra looks at him. "I'll be honest about this, too: it's easy to get sidetracked when you joke and smile like that. That's something you've learned to do to defend yourself. You don't have to do that here."
"What, don't smile?"
"You can smile," she even smiles back a little. "You can lean in your chair and prop up your arm to show off what good shape you're in," John sits up with a chilled little shock, "and I'm still going to ask you if you'll tell me about your memories from school. I'm still going to tell you that you can, John
( ... )
Merry Go Round Broke Down 25
anonymous
March 12 2011, 01:48:33 UTC
John's team has benefited from a lot of different kinds of luck over the years, and if some variety of their luck has to run out, John figures the getting-interrupted-during-sex luck was probably one of the best they could've lost
( ... )
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 25telesillaMarch 12 2011, 02:26:07 UTC
I should have commented on this already, sorry about that. I love everything about this fic, but mostly, I love your John and his slow attempt to understand not only what his humiliation/shame cycle meant and did to him, but how it affected Rodney as well. Every time you post a new section, I rush to read it.
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 25msilverstarMarch 12 2011, 21:13:42 UTC
I'm here via telesilla, just read it all, and am really enjoying it. I'm fascinated by this twist on the usual bdsm and fanon tropes, and I like the slow pace, without it being boring. I will so be tracking this and looking forward to more.
ETA: I wish I had a therapist like that, she's awesome!
Re: Merry Go Round Broke Down 25
anonymous
March 14 2011, 13:20:52 UTC
Glad the therapy comes off as positive. I wasn't sure if it would seem totally cracked that his therapist lets John get away without talking, but... special circumstances? Thanks for reading and for letting me know.
Merry Go Round Broke Down 26
anonymous
March 14 2011, 13:10:48 UTC
"Obviously I researched it before I ever gave it to you," Rodney takes a second to look affronted before going back to fretting. "It's rare, but hearing problems are a known side effect. Mention it to Jennifer at the checkup, she'll probably do a million scans, but if this is the first time you've experienced it, it's probably that."
John runs his hand through his hair, more agitated than he can really justify to himself. The pills make sex easier, but it's still just a moderately pleasant physical experience. He just went without for several weeks when he was avoiding Rodney, and it wasn't a big deal.
It just... sucks. They have this whole thing going now: Rodney keeps the pills, and John only gets a dose when Rodney gives it to him; Rodney times it all out so that John's hard when Rodney wants him to be. It's-- well, it's not hot exactly, because nothing's hot to John anymore, but it's good. It works
( ... )
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I love the new parts. John's emotional mess is gut-level logical; I understand where his head is, and I think it's fun that he's not telling anything to Dr. Esquerra and still making progress. Thank you for taking your time writing and making this so good.
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"What, don't smile?"
"You can smile," she even smiles back a little. "You can lean in your chair and prop up your arm to show off what good shape you're in," John sits up with a chilled little shock, "and I'm still going to ask you if you'll tell me about your memories from school. I'm still going to tell you that you can, John ( ... )
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ETA: I wish I had a therapist like that, she's awesome!
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John runs his hand through his hair, more agitated than he can really justify to himself. The pills make sex easier, but it's still just a moderately pleasant physical experience. He just went without for several weeks when he was avoiding Rodney, and it wasn't a big deal.
It just... sucks. They have this whole thing going now: Rodney keeps the pills, and John only gets a dose when Rodney gives it to him; Rodney times it all out so that John's hard when Rodney wants him to be. It's-- well, it's not hot exactly, because nothing's hot to John anymore, but it's good. It works ( ... )
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