oh dear hahahahahahaha. thanks beki and melissa. and if u leave a comment...please make it as vague as my entry.

its been 23 years...and in the last 2 years its gotten progressively worse...to the point where i cant hide it, or pretend, or live like this anymore. I think im going to go to a doctor and hope to god something works. i cant take it anymore...and i cant take what my life has become because of it.

alittle over 2 months...and im bored. so...i graduated college. woo..even tho i did it back in january, i finally walked this past tuesday. stupid budget cuts cancelling january graduation. lets see, ummm...a lot has changed. some for the better, some for the worse. friends are drastically changing. some of the people i would have classified as the ( Read more... )

mom just got over bronchitus...i think im getting it now :-/..

hi.

i have absolutely nothing in new jersey. Moving to north carolina..id have nothing. but it will give me the chance to start over. and get away from the things I think will eventually kill me here. I;ve mademy decision..i want to move.start over.and make a second attempt to be happy.

is it possible to get more depressed than i am now? Just keep slamming it on guys...apparently y shoulders can carry anything. you keep testing me...its not fair. and im breaking down again...and i cant stop it this time.

from august 17 to oct 28 ( Read more... )

aug 17...im working. my birthday is in 2 weeks! i turn the whopping 22. holy crap im old. ben is turning 19 next week which scares me. im cleaning a lot...which is turning out to be quite productive. thats really it. i dont know what else to write.

i quit one of my jobs. thank god...i hated it. why? cause i didnt do anything. i cant sit there and not do anything, i go crazy! i also cant be let go early every single shift. its funny, now that i quit one job im working more than i did with both of em. i told the job i have now im available full time, and im working a lot more ( Read more... )

You know when you're heart does flips in your chest? That you get so weirdly excited just to see someone? I rarely get that anymore. Which is odd because I am such a hopeless crush-er ( Read more... )