Fic: How Hannibal Got His Groove Back part 3
part 2
B.A. resisted the urge to throw his soldering iron across the room when Hannibal asked for the fifth time whether he was sure the little gadget would pick up all cell phone calls within 100 metres. Instead, he took a deep breath and explained exactly how it worked.
Hannibal stopped welding and looked at B.A. "You okay? I know we haven’t had much of a chance to talk since…" he waved a hand to encompass 'everything'.
"This is some big, life-changing stuff going on, Hannibal. You know? I'm just holding on through it," he prayed Hannibal wouldn’t ask exactly what kind of big, life-changing things B.A. had been doing.
"Well, whenever you're ready to talk about it. I'm here."
B.A. sighed. "I should probably go talk to Murdock. About a thing."
Hannibal grinned. "All according to plan."
***
"Are you sure you were told to do this?" asked Sosa. "And what are the bedsheets for?"
"I borrowed them from the hotel to cover the top. I'll pile leaves on when we're done. I'm digging traps! Do it all the time." Murdock paused. "Did it all the time. I'm not sure what we’re gonna do now."
"Maybe you could just keep doing this kind of thing?"
"No, I mean, seriously what are we going to do now? I can't reach the top of this thing!"
"Wait," said Sosa, "I can hear someone!"
"I think it's Face. Face! Faaaaaaaaaaaaaace!"
"No, don't call for him! He'll just laugh at us."
"Uh. Guys," said Face. "Very funny. I fell in a hole. Little help over here?"
***
Murdock cringed when he saw B.A.. That was definitely not the warm welcome he'd been hoping for. "It was a mistake! I know I shouldn't have done it."
B.A. kept his expression very, very steady. Murdock's reaction pushed him into doing the one thing Hannibal had never been able to make him do; be the bigger man in the situation.
"I put it all back together!" and if B.A. had been a slightly more dramatic person, he would have asked, 'what, my broken heart?' He really, really wanted to ask that. "I mean, there were some bits left over but Hannibal said that always happens to him."
B.A. could nearly feel his brain go into reverse. "Uh. What are you talking about?"
"The van is fine! Everybody says so. How could everybody be wrong, B.A.? How? Even Sosa agreed with me and she's never done that before."
B.A. was torn between finding out if the van really was okay, and making sure Murdock wasn't actually breaking up with him.
"But we're okay, right?" he picked Murdock, even though he kind of wanted to strangle him right now.
"Who is?"
"You and me, dumbass."
"Why wouldn't we be?" Murdock pinched B.A.'s cheek. "You're my snookie-wookums!"
"Never. Do that. Again."
Murdock rolled his eyes. "Braaaaaaaaains," he intoned. "See? I knew we'd be fine. And you gave me your keys after. You'd never do that unless you were totally into me. Which you are, 'cause I'm awesome."
B.A. sighed. "Yeah, you are. But you didn't hear that from me." He kissed him, then pressed Murdock against the wall. B.A. ran his tongue down Murdock's neck, prompting a squeak, and another complaint of being ticklish. He caught Murdock's jaw with one hand and kissed him again, while Murdock busied himself by running his hands under B.A.'s shirt. He brought his arms up around B.A.'s neck, then in one fluid movement hooked both legs around his waist.
B.A. stopped and stared. "While I'm not gonna say that wasn't impressive, no way are we doing this here."
"Why not?"
"Because you get a bed. And sheets. And all stuff like that. Not a corridor," he caught Murdock by the hand and led him to their bedroom.
Murdock pushed B.A. down onto the bed. "You stopped being a prude now?"
"I'm just saying," said B.A., "you deserve better than that. Also you're heavier than you look." He snickered as Murdock gave a horrified look and smacked his arm.
"I changed my mind! No sex for you. Not until you apologise."
B.A. rolled on top of him, "I'm sorry you're so heavy. I'm sorry I want you so bad. And I’m sorry I've been thinking about this all day."
"Worst. Apology. Ever. But you're forgiven!" He squeaked as B.A. slipped a hand inside his pants.
"You sure I don't need to make up for it?"
"Well, when you put it like that, how can I resist?"
B.A. removed Murdock's pants entirely and swallowed him down. "I got a better idea," panted Murdock after less than a minute.
"Were you waiting for me to get a sore jaw before you said that?"
"No, that was just a bonus," he dragged B.A.'s pants off and slowly pushed a finger inside him. "We good to go?" He asked. B.A. just nodded. When Murdock slid in, B.A. immediately moved to meet him and began to set the pace. "Pushy," muttered Murdock.
"Says you, Mr. This-is-not-a-bad-idea," Murdock responded by curling a hand around B.A.'s cock. "You don't have an answer to that, do you?" He panted. Murdock laughed and thrust harder, as B.A.'s movements became stuttery. B.A. clenching down when he came caused Murdock to tip over the edge too.
"So twice is a thing, right?" Murdock eventually asked.
"And here I thought I'd finally found a way to shut you up," said B.A.
"It works! Just not forever. It has to be repeated. Frequently."
"I thought once was a thing."
"Twice is… more of a thing. Definitely. But once totally counted!"
"Backpedaller," said B.A. and kissed him.
***
"Are we all set?" asked Hannibal.
Murdock yawned. "I mean, yes bossman. Sorry, late night."
"Do I actually need to be here for this bit?" asked Sosa. "I'm pretty sure you can take care of this without my help."
Hannibal pointed at an empty piece of brush and said quietly, "I'd recommend it."
Joe Griffiths and his men suddenly appeared where Hannibal had pointed. With Lynch. "Excuse me, I need to take this," Lynch answered his phone. "Well you killed all the competent minions! No, he was competent. Apart from the phone or gun thing. Seriously, you killed him for that and you left Kyle alive? Is he paying you or something? I mean, what's that going to teach him about competence on the job?"
"Captain Sosa, can you listen in?"
"Yes! I've got the call. Really quickly, considering I am basically using something made from string." Sosa switched the intercepted call to speaker and Pike's voice could be heard.
"No, you're not going to fuck me. I'm going to fuck you."
They all stared as she frantically put the call onto her headphones.
"You sure you got the right one, there?" asked Hannibal.
Sosa's reply was muffled by the hand still covering her mouth, "Maybe I should just monitor this alone."
Murdock snickered, "In your pants!"
"Did you know Pike and Lynch would be involved in this?" she asked Hannibal.
"I suspected. They have to earn a living, too. Not a huge stretch to wonder if they were doing something similar to us."
B.A.'s voice crackled over Hannibal’s radio. "Two down. They noticed yet?"
"Not yet. No, I tell a lie. I think they just did."
Sosa cackled with laughter and put the call back onto speaker. "Pike, what the fuck? There is some serious Blair Witch shit going down here."
"Are you high or something?"
"No, seriously man, Bill and Mick just disappeared. There's nowhere for them to go!"
"You're in the woods, you idiot. There's plenty of places for them to go."
Sosa, Hannibal and Murdock watched as B.A. grabbed the guy nearest the edge of the clearing and choked him out.
"Oh God," came Lynch's voice again. "Oh God where's Johnny?"
Pike sighed. "Do you want me to come out there and look or something? Maybe fluff your pillow and tuck you in while I'm there?"
"Yes please because I think we're all going to die."
"…That was sarcasm. But I will anyway, because you're such a damn chicken. I’ll be there in fifteen."
"Okay, but mind the traps when you get here. We managed to avoid them all!" Lynch said proudly.
"Wait, you didn't get out to the motel to whack the family?"
"No," said Lynch. "There were traps. We're heading straight to the site."
"Oh Christ. They're trying to corral you, you moron. Ten minutes! I'll be there in ten."
"Damnit," muttered Sosa. "They weren't supposed to figure that out."
Hannibal shrugged. "If it gets Pike here quicker they can figure out whatever the hell they want. I wouldn’t want to leave him as a loose end."
"Want me to keep picking them off?" asked B.A.
"Just keep following them for the moment. We'll join you shortly," said Hannibal.
"Can I have the helicopter keys yet? We could all get there before them!"
"Not yet. I don't know if you ever noticed, but helicopters are noisy."
"That's part of their charm!"
Hannibal laughed. "Okay, true. But they don't need to know what we're up to yet, and Face is already at the rendezvous point, so he's got that covered."
***
"Are they nearly here yet? I'm getting bored." asked Face through the radio.
"Just on our way now, kid. They seem to be getting antsy, too."
"Lynch is freaking out," added Sosa. "It's pretty awesome."
"I feel like a bad guy in Scooby Doo!" said Murdock. "Trying to scare off those meddling kids."
"Lemme at 'em! I'll splat 'em!" said Sosa as she punched Murdock lightly in the arm.
B.A. joined them. "What are you two even doing?"
Sosa and Murdock looked at each other for a moment, then the ground. "Playing Scooby Doo," she said quietly. Behind them, Hannibal snickered.
B.A. just shook his head, "And here I thought you was gonna be some kind of stabilising influence."
"What the hell would give you that idea?" asked Sosa.
"Someone's coming!" said Face.
"Good," said Hannibal.
"No, not good! It's Pike! What do I do?"
"Just stay there, kid, and stay quiet. We're coming. Murdock, I think you were right about the helicopter after all."
"Hannibal! You know I ain't going in the helicopter," said B.A.
"Is there a problem?" Sosa gave them a confused look.
"He knows I don't like flying! 'Specially not with this fool!"
Hannibal nodded at Murdock, who threw some black powder in the air. B.A. caught him by the neck. "Is that knock out powder? 'Cause it ain’t knocking me out! You guys screwed this one up," he began to sneeze, and Hannibal wordlessly handed him a handkerchief.
"It's just pepper!" said Murdock. "For good luck."
"No, you got a little more there," Hannibal motioned under his nose.
"Smells like… chloroform." Sosa caught B.A. as he passed out.
"We really should have done that closer to the chopper," said Sosa as she struggled with a heavy arm.
"They're here! They're setting the charges," Face's voice was barely audible over the noise of the helicopter.
"We got an ETA of approximately ninety seconds, Face," said Murdock.
"They're about to set them off! I gotta go."
"Hurry, Murdock," said Hannibal.
Finally, they saw the clearing where the mine was planned. Pike was holding a gun on Face, who had his hands up. "That," said Murdock, "was definitely not part of the plan."
"No, I see why he's stalling," Sosa pointed behind Face, "the last bit isn't connected."
"Think you and B.A. can do that while Murdock and I keep them busy?" asked Hannibal.
"B.A. is asleep!"
Hannibal grinned at her, "want to bet he'll still be sleepy after we drop him out of the chopper?"
"I'll aim for the trees. You take care of him," Murdock said fiercely to Sosa. Hannibal and Sosa rolled B.A. out of the door and she jumped out after him.
"Tell me that did not just happen," B.A. groaned as he held his head. "Murdock better cook for me tonight."
"Is. Is that some kind of euphemism?" asked Sosa. B.A. just glared. "We need to go fix a connection. Are you up for that?" He sighed and began to follow her.
Hannibal leaned out of the hovering helicopter. "Are you planning on shooting him, or is there a little wiggle room for negotiation?"
"Boss!" shouted Face. "Don't give him ideas."
"I tell you what. You throw out all your weapons and admit I won, and I might just give your boy back."
Hannibal appeared to consider this, as B.A. put his hand up to signal they were done.
"What do we do now?" asked Sosa.
"We run like hell, 'cause I ain't convinced those guys are only gonna get singed."
"But they're not going to give Face back! We have to do something."
"You think it would screw up the plan if we set one of the charges off early?"
"Not so long as it's only a little one. Especially if you think there's a risk they might actually get hurt."
"There's always a risk," said B.A.. "I know it's only a little one but I wouldn’t want to bet Face's life on it."
Hannibal barely flinched when the explosion came. "Move it, Captain! We need to grab him." Pike was distracted by trying to discern where the blast came from, but Lynch grabbed on to the chopper at the same time Face did. Hannibal kicked him in the head and he fell to earth. "Take her up!"
"You can't stop us, Smith!" Pike shouted. "We're gonna blow this whole place wide open."
"I don't want to stop you," muttered Hannibal. With that, Pike set off all the charges. Even the ones he didn’t know about.
It really was a very impressive explosion.
***
B.A. checked for pulses on the unconscious men. "You sure we didn't kill anyone?"
"He's sure, Bosco," said Murdock, "Now will you come toast marshmallows with us?" He, Face and Sosa had them on sticks around the remaining fires, while Hannibal and B.A. tied up the gang. "Look, Face!" Murdock pointed at something glittering on the ground, "it's gold! It was a gold mine after all. "
"Goddamnit!"
Hannibal whispered in his ear, "B.A. just put it there to make Murdock happy. Don't say anything about it."
"Wait, I won the bet and I can't even gloat about it? That's so unfair!"
"Maybe next time you can lose?" asked Sosa, who was beginning to check the ropes holding Pike and Lynch.
"You’re going, aren't you?" asked Face. "With the police when they get here. They're bound to have heard the explosion."
"I have to."
"Stay with us. Please."
Sosa smiled. "Maybe they'll put me chasing you next time. It'll be fun!"
"We should go, kids," said Hannibal. "It was a pleasure being on your side for once, Captain." Sosa saluted.
"We are walking back to the van," said B.A..
***
They'd just got back to the parking garage when they heard it.
"This is Colonel Decker of the U.S. army. You are completely surrounded."
Hannibal took a quick look through the small window at the mass of soldiers outside. "No kidding."
"Give yourselves up, or I'll flush the whole building and everyone in it right in the sewer."
"Is he kidding?" asked Face. "Who even says that?"
"He sounds like he's crazy," said B.A.
"In my considered and scientific opinion, he's cuckoo," replied Murdock.
"Your associate, Captain Sosa, will also be accompanying me. I've had an anonymous tip that you’ve been receiving help from her."
"Hey! Hey, Smith!” Pike shouted. "You think you were the only ones we wanted revenge on? If we're going down, she's coming with us! We'll be out of here in five minutes. Her? Not so much."
"Someone shut him up," said Decker.
"Oh God. We have to save her," said Face.
"So she can kick our asses?" asked B.A.
"We owe her one," said Hannibal.
"You want me to start blasting, Smith?"
"Well? Do you?" asked Murdock.
"I'm thinking."
"Think faster!" said B.A.
"I'm giving you two minutes," Decker called.
Hannibal laughed. "I love it. No matter how smart they think they are, they always screw up somehow. B.A., I'm sorry. We may have to sacrifice the van for Sosa."
"What? No. No way, man."
"Oh come on, Bosco. This is an actual person's life. Isn’t that more important than a big hunk of metal?" asked Face.
Murdock covered B.A.'s mouth with his hand, "You don’t want to know the answer to that. You really don't." He yelped when B.A. licked his hand.
"It's obvious, they have no choice," said Lynch.
"Shut up," said Decker. "With anyone but Colonel Hannibal Smith, that's true. With him, nothing is obvious. That's why he keeps beating you. I won't make that mistake."
"Well what can he do?"
"We'll find out. In about 40 seconds." The door burst open with the force of a vehicle. It was soon brought to a stop by shots from Decker's troops. The jeep was in pieces from the bullets. “That's not their van, you idiots!” Decker shouted.
The van shot out of the hole left by the jeep. The back door swung open, and as Face grabbed Sosa he shouted, "That's totally not our van! Big mistake, guys."
***
Face waved his print out at them. "Somebody wants us to go to Mexico to rescue a guy."
"Huh. I never been on the rescuing side of that. Can we? Pretty please?" asked Murdock.
"While Mexico sounds great right now, we have to make sure these things are legit. Who's it from?"
"Some reporter, Alan something. No, Amy Allen."
"I googled her," said Sosa, "she comes up clean."
"Well then," Hannibal shifted his cigar to the other side of his mouth, "I guess Amy Allen just hired the A-Team!"
B.A. resisted the urge to throw his soldering iron across the room when Hannibal asked for the fifth time whether he was sure the little gadget would pick up all cell phone calls within 100 metres. Instead, he took a deep breath and explained exactly how it worked.
Hannibal stopped welding and looked at B.A. "You okay? I know we haven’t had much of a chance to talk since…" he waved a hand to encompass 'everything'.
"This is some big, life-changing stuff going on, Hannibal. You know? I'm just holding on through it," he prayed Hannibal wouldn’t ask exactly what kind of big, life-changing things B.A. had been doing.
"Well, whenever you're ready to talk about it. I'm here."
B.A. sighed. "I should probably go talk to Murdock. About a thing."
Hannibal grinned. "All according to plan."
***
"Are you sure you were told to do this?" asked Sosa. "And what are the bedsheets for?"
"I borrowed them from the hotel to cover the top. I'll pile leaves on when we're done. I'm digging traps! Do it all the time." Murdock paused. "Did it all the time. I'm not sure what we’re gonna do now."
"Maybe you could just keep doing this kind of thing?"
"No, I mean, seriously what are we going to do now? I can't reach the top of this thing!"
"Wait," said Sosa, "I can hear someone!"
"I think it's Face. Face! Faaaaaaaaaaaaaace!"
"No, don't call for him! He'll just laugh at us."
"Uh. Guys," said Face. "Very funny. I fell in a hole. Little help over here?"
***
Murdock cringed when he saw B.A.. That was definitely not the warm welcome he'd been hoping for. "It was a mistake! I know I shouldn't have done it."
B.A. kept his expression very, very steady. Murdock's reaction pushed him into doing the one thing Hannibal had never been able to make him do; be the bigger man in the situation.
"I put it all back together!" and if B.A. had been a slightly more dramatic person, he would have asked, 'what, my broken heart?' He really, really wanted to ask that. "I mean, there were some bits left over but Hannibal said that always happens to him."
B.A. could nearly feel his brain go into reverse. "Uh. What are you talking about?"
"The van is fine! Everybody says so. How could everybody be wrong, B.A.? How? Even Sosa agreed with me and she's never done that before."
B.A. was torn between finding out if the van really was okay, and making sure Murdock wasn't actually breaking up with him.
"But we're okay, right?" he picked Murdock, even though he kind of wanted to strangle him right now.
"Who is?"
"You and me, dumbass."
"Why wouldn't we be?" Murdock pinched B.A.'s cheek. "You're my snookie-wookums!"
"Never. Do that. Again."
Murdock rolled his eyes. "Braaaaaaaaains," he intoned. "See? I knew we'd be fine. And you gave me your keys after. You'd never do that unless you were totally into me. Which you are, 'cause I'm awesome."
B.A. sighed. "Yeah, you are. But you didn't hear that from me." He kissed him, then pressed Murdock against the wall. B.A. ran his tongue down Murdock's neck, prompting a squeak, and another complaint of being ticklish. He caught Murdock's jaw with one hand and kissed him again, while Murdock busied himself by running his hands under B.A.'s shirt. He brought his arms up around B.A.'s neck, then in one fluid movement hooked both legs around his waist.
B.A. stopped and stared. "While I'm not gonna say that wasn't impressive, no way are we doing this here."
"Why not?"
"Because you get a bed. And sheets. And all stuff like that. Not a corridor," he caught Murdock by the hand and led him to their bedroom.
Murdock pushed B.A. down onto the bed. "You stopped being a prude now?"
"I'm just saying," said B.A., "you deserve better than that. Also you're heavier than you look." He snickered as Murdock gave a horrified look and smacked his arm.
"I changed my mind! No sex for you. Not until you apologise."
B.A. rolled on top of him, "I'm sorry you're so heavy. I'm sorry I want you so bad. And I’m sorry I've been thinking about this all day."
"Worst. Apology. Ever. But you're forgiven!" He squeaked as B.A. slipped a hand inside his pants.
"You sure I don't need to make up for it?"
"Well, when you put it like that, how can I resist?"
B.A. removed Murdock's pants entirely and swallowed him down. "I got a better idea," panted Murdock after less than a minute.
"Were you waiting for me to get a sore jaw before you said that?"
"No, that was just a bonus," he dragged B.A.'s pants off and slowly pushed a finger inside him. "We good to go?" He asked. B.A. just nodded. When Murdock slid in, B.A. immediately moved to meet him and began to set the pace. "Pushy," muttered Murdock.
"Says you, Mr. This-is-not-a-bad-idea," Murdock responded by curling a hand around B.A.'s cock. "You don't have an answer to that, do you?" He panted. Murdock laughed and thrust harder, as B.A.'s movements became stuttery. B.A. clenching down when he came caused Murdock to tip over the edge too.
"So twice is a thing, right?" Murdock eventually asked.
"And here I thought I'd finally found a way to shut you up," said B.A.
"It works! Just not forever. It has to be repeated. Frequently."
"I thought once was a thing."
"Twice is… more of a thing. Definitely. But once totally counted!"
"Backpedaller," said B.A. and kissed him.
***
"Are we all set?" asked Hannibal.
Murdock yawned. "I mean, yes bossman. Sorry, late night."
"Do I actually need to be here for this bit?" asked Sosa. "I'm pretty sure you can take care of this without my help."
Hannibal pointed at an empty piece of brush and said quietly, "I'd recommend it."
Joe Griffiths and his men suddenly appeared where Hannibal had pointed. With Lynch. "Excuse me, I need to take this," Lynch answered his phone. "Well you killed all the competent minions! No, he was competent. Apart from the phone or gun thing. Seriously, you killed him for that and you left Kyle alive? Is he paying you or something? I mean, what's that going to teach him about competence on the job?"
"Captain Sosa, can you listen in?"
"Yes! I've got the call. Really quickly, considering I am basically using something made from string." Sosa switched the intercepted call to speaker and Pike's voice could be heard.
"No, you're not going to fuck me. I'm going to fuck you."
They all stared as she frantically put the call onto her headphones.
"You sure you got the right one, there?" asked Hannibal.
Sosa's reply was muffled by the hand still covering her mouth, "Maybe I should just monitor this alone."
Murdock snickered, "In your pants!"
"Did you know Pike and Lynch would be involved in this?" she asked Hannibal.
"I suspected. They have to earn a living, too. Not a huge stretch to wonder if they were doing something similar to us."
B.A.'s voice crackled over Hannibal’s radio. "Two down. They noticed yet?"
"Not yet. No, I tell a lie. I think they just did."
Sosa cackled with laughter and put the call back onto speaker. "Pike, what the fuck? There is some serious Blair Witch shit going down here."
"Are you high or something?"
"No, seriously man, Bill and Mick just disappeared. There's nowhere for them to go!"
"You're in the woods, you idiot. There's plenty of places for them to go."
Sosa, Hannibal and Murdock watched as B.A. grabbed the guy nearest the edge of the clearing and choked him out.
"Oh God," came Lynch's voice again. "Oh God where's Johnny?"
Pike sighed. "Do you want me to come out there and look or something? Maybe fluff your pillow and tuck you in while I'm there?"
"Yes please because I think we're all going to die."
"…That was sarcasm. But I will anyway, because you're such a damn chicken. I’ll be there in fifteen."
"Okay, but mind the traps when you get here. We managed to avoid them all!" Lynch said proudly.
"Wait, you didn't get out to the motel to whack the family?"
"No," said Lynch. "There were traps. We're heading straight to the site."
"Oh Christ. They're trying to corral you, you moron. Ten minutes! I'll be there in ten."
"Damnit," muttered Sosa. "They weren't supposed to figure that out."
Hannibal shrugged. "If it gets Pike here quicker they can figure out whatever the hell they want. I wouldn’t want to leave him as a loose end."
"Want me to keep picking them off?" asked B.A.
"Just keep following them for the moment. We'll join you shortly," said Hannibal.
"Can I have the helicopter keys yet? We could all get there before them!"
"Not yet. I don't know if you ever noticed, but helicopters are noisy."
"That's part of their charm!"
Hannibal laughed. "Okay, true. But they don't need to know what we're up to yet, and Face is already at the rendezvous point, so he's got that covered."
***
"Are they nearly here yet? I'm getting bored." asked Face through the radio.
"Just on our way now, kid. They seem to be getting antsy, too."
"Lynch is freaking out," added Sosa. "It's pretty awesome."
"I feel like a bad guy in Scooby Doo!" said Murdock. "Trying to scare off those meddling kids."
"Lemme at 'em! I'll splat 'em!" said Sosa as she punched Murdock lightly in the arm.
B.A. joined them. "What are you two even doing?"
Sosa and Murdock looked at each other for a moment, then the ground. "Playing Scooby Doo," she said quietly. Behind them, Hannibal snickered.
B.A. just shook his head, "And here I thought you was gonna be some kind of stabilising influence."
"What the hell would give you that idea?" asked Sosa.
"Someone's coming!" said Face.
"Good," said Hannibal.
"No, not good! It's Pike! What do I do?"
"Just stay there, kid, and stay quiet. We're coming. Murdock, I think you were right about the helicopter after all."
"Hannibal! You know I ain't going in the helicopter," said B.A.
"Is there a problem?" Sosa gave them a confused look.
"He knows I don't like flying! 'Specially not with this fool!"
Hannibal nodded at Murdock, who threw some black powder in the air. B.A. caught him by the neck. "Is that knock out powder? 'Cause it ain’t knocking me out! You guys screwed this one up," he began to sneeze, and Hannibal wordlessly handed him a handkerchief.
"It's just pepper!" said Murdock. "For good luck."
"No, you got a little more there," Hannibal motioned under his nose.
"Smells like… chloroform." Sosa caught B.A. as he passed out.
"We really should have done that closer to the chopper," said Sosa as she struggled with a heavy arm.
"They're here! They're setting the charges," Face's voice was barely audible over the noise of the helicopter.
"We got an ETA of approximately ninety seconds, Face," said Murdock.
"They're about to set them off! I gotta go."
"Hurry, Murdock," said Hannibal.
Finally, they saw the clearing where the mine was planned. Pike was holding a gun on Face, who had his hands up. "That," said Murdock, "was definitely not part of the plan."
"No, I see why he's stalling," Sosa pointed behind Face, "the last bit isn't connected."
"Think you and B.A. can do that while Murdock and I keep them busy?" asked Hannibal.
"B.A. is asleep!"
Hannibal grinned at her, "want to bet he'll still be sleepy after we drop him out of the chopper?"
"I'll aim for the trees. You take care of him," Murdock said fiercely to Sosa. Hannibal and Sosa rolled B.A. out of the door and she jumped out after him.
"Tell me that did not just happen," B.A. groaned as he held his head. "Murdock better cook for me tonight."
"Is. Is that some kind of euphemism?" asked Sosa. B.A. just glared. "We need to go fix a connection. Are you up for that?" He sighed and began to follow her.
Hannibal leaned out of the hovering helicopter. "Are you planning on shooting him, or is there a little wiggle room for negotiation?"
"Boss!" shouted Face. "Don't give him ideas."
"I tell you what. You throw out all your weapons and admit I won, and I might just give your boy back."
Hannibal appeared to consider this, as B.A. put his hand up to signal they were done.
"What do we do now?" asked Sosa.
"We run like hell, 'cause I ain't convinced those guys are only gonna get singed."
"But they're not going to give Face back! We have to do something."
"You think it would screw up the plan if we set one of the charges off early?"
"Not so long as it's only a little one. Especially if you think there's a risk they might actually get hurt."
"There's always a risk," said B.A.. "I know it's only a little one but I wouldn’t want to bet Face's life on it."
Hannibal barely flinched when the explosion came. "Move it, Captain! We need to grab him." Pike was distracted by trying to discern where the blast came from, but Lynch grabbed on to the chopper at the same time Face did. Hannibal kicked him in the head and he fell to earth. "Take her up!"
"You can't stop us, Smith!" Pike shouted. "We're gonna blow this whole place wide open."
"I don't want to stop you," muttered Hannibal. With that, Pike set off all the charges. Even the ones he didn’t know about.
It really was a very impressive explosion.
***
B.A. checked for pulses on the unconscious men. "You sure we didn't kill anyone?"
"He's sure, Bosco," said Murdock, "Now will you come toast marshmallows with us?" He, Face and Sosa had them on sticks around the remaining fires, while Hannibal and B.A. tied up the gang. "Look, Face!" Murdock pointed at something glittering on the ground, "it's gold! It was a gold mine after all. "
"Goddamnit!"
Hannibal whispered in his ear, "B.A. just put it there to make Murdock happy. Don't say anything about it."
"Wait, I won the bet and I can't even gloat about it? That's so unfair!"
"Maybe next time you can lose?" asked Sosa, who was beginning to check the ropes holding Pike and Lynch.
"You’re going, aren't you?" asked Face. "With the police when they get here. They're bound to have heard the explosion."
"I have to."
"Stay with us. Please."
Sosa smiled. "Maybe they'll put me chasing you next time. It'll be fun!"
"We should go, kids," said Hannibal. "It was a pleasure being on your side for once, Captain." Sosa saluted.
"We are walking back to the van," said B.A..
***
They'd just got back to the parking garage when they heard it.
"This is Colonel Decker of the U.S. army. You are completely surrounded."
Hannibal took a quick look through the small window at the mass of soldiers outside. "No kidding."
"Give yourselves up, or I'll flush the whole building and everyone in it right in the sewer."
"Is he kidding?" asked Face. "Who even says that?"
"He sounds like he's crazy," said B.A.
"In my considered and scientific opinion, he's cuckoo," replied Murdock.
"Your associate, Captain Sosa, will also be accompanying me. I've had an anonymous tip that you’ve been receiving help from her."
"Hey! Hey, Smith!” Pike shouted. "You think you were the only ones we wanted revenge on? If we're going down, she's coming with us! We'll be out of here in five minutes. Her? Not so much."
"Someone shut him up," said Decker.
"Oh God. We have to save her," said Face.
"So she can kick our asses?" asked B.A.
"We owe her one," said Hannibal.
"You want me to start blasting, Smith?"
"Well? Do you?" asked Murdock.
"I'm thinking."
"Think faster!" said B.A.
"I'm giving you two minutes," Decker called.
Hannibal laughed. "I love it. No matter how smart they think they are, they always screw up somehow. B.A., I'm sorry. We may have to sacrifice the van for Sosa."
"What? No. No way, man."
"Oh come on, Bosco. This is an actual person's life. Isn’t that more important than a big hunk of metal?" asked Face.
Murdock covered B.A.'s mouth with his hand, "You don’t want to know the answer to that. You really don't." He yelped when B.A. licked his hand.
"It's obvious, they have no choice," said Lynch.
"Shut up," said Decker. "With anyone but Colonel Hannibal Smith, that's true. With him, nothing is obvious. That's why he keeps beating you. I won't make that mistake."
"Well what can he do?"
"We'll find out. In about 40 seconds." The door burst open with the force of a vehicle. It was soon brought to a stop by shots from Decker's troops. The jeep was in pieces from the bullets. “That's not their van, you idiots!” Decker shouted.
The van shot out of the hole left by the jeep. The back door swung open, and as Face grabbed Sosa he shouted, "That's totally not our van! Big mistake, guys."
***
Face waved his print out at them. "Somebody wants us to go to Mexico to rescue a guy."
"Huh. I never been on the rescuing side of that. Can we? Pretty please?" asked Murdock.
"While Mexico sounds great right now, we have to make sure these things are legit. Who's it from?"
"Some reporter, Alan something. No, Amy Allen."
"I googled her," said Sosa, "she comes up clean."
"Well then," Hannibal shifted his cigar to the other side of his mouth, "I guess Amy Allen just hired the A-Team!"