Fic: Devil Or Angel (2/?)
Title: Devil Or Angel (2/?)
Author: momdaegmorgan - My master fic list
Rating: Adult for some chapters
Spoilers: Doomsday
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Rose, Jack, other characters
Summary: Rose and the Doctor have been reunited and are once again traveling through time and space together. They're also finally being honest about their feelings for one another but there are still secrets being kept, secrets that could threaten their newfound closeness.
Sequel to You've Got to Hide Your Love Away. It helps to have read that first.
Disclaimer: Doctor Who owns my soul. I own nothing.
Author's Note: Beta by sinecure. With an honorable mention to rachelbeann who keeps managing to convince me to let her read early previews of these chapters even though I keep telling her she has to wait like everyone else. :)
Sorry about the lateness of this chapter. Laptop woes kept me from updating anytime sooner. Luckily our little blizzard here hasn't affected our nets or it would've been even later than this. Also, I'm taking the next two weeks off posting. With the holiday season fully upon us I have lots of baking and shopping and wrapping and family functions to attend, leaving very little time for fanfic. Posting will resume it's normal schedule on January 2nd, 2009. I hope everyone has a very safe and happy holiday season.
There weren't actually any sort of emergency repairs that the Doctor needed to attend to. In fact, the TARDIS had survived the second trip between universes relatively unscathed. Oh, she was a little low on power, but not so much that she needed to refuel anytime soon, and a few non-essential systems had been banged up a bit, but the damage wasn't pressing enough that it needed to be dealt with immediately.
Upper body buried deep in the innards of the console, the Doctor wasn't tinkering with any clear intent. Unless, of course, you figured in the fact that he was avoiding; not just Jack, but the whole lot of them.
Never fond of goodbyes, especially awkward ones, he had absolutely no desire to be present for this one.
After fifteen minutes however, he was bored. More than just bored, he was impatient. He'd certainly managed staying stationary for longer than this before, but now that he had Rose back, he wanted her by his side, not off with other people. He wanted to swan off with her for destinations unknown. To find adventure around every corner. His fingers itched to set the coordinates that would take them to the next planet, the next solar system, the next century.
Yet, still he waited.
He knew she needed this. Needed to say her goodbyes and tie up any loose ends on Earth before she was ready to travel with him again. She'd made friends here, made those connections that were necessary to her species, and so many others, and he wasn't going to take that away from her.
Determined not to rush her, especially after recent events and revelations, he continued to strip and reconnect various wires, rerouting this system or that, all for the sake of distraction. As he worked, he let his mind wander to the better parts of the last week spent in Pete's world.
Rose had stayed close to his side at first, watching him out of the corner of her eye, brushing up against him every chance she got, a knowing smile teasing her lips. She'd understood exactly what she was doing to him. How, he wasn't sure. He'd always been so careful not to let on just how much she affected him, but she knew anyway. Knew that she was setting his blood on fire, making it difficult, if not impossible for him to avoid sneaking into her room in the middle of the night while the rest of the house slept.
Somehow he'd managed to keep his desires in check.
Well...there had been the one time, but that was entirely Rose's fault.
They'd run into each other in an otherwise empty hallway; Rose just leaving her room with a duffel filled with clothes, the Doctor looking for Pete. It was a rare enough occurrence during those last few days for them to be in the same room together, much less alone. More often than not, Rose was with Jackie, spending as much time with her mum as she could before they left.
When they'd both come to a startled stop, mere inches from one another, Rose had been the one to take the initiative. After dropping her bag, she'd grabbed him, snogging him good and proper as she backed him into her darkened bedroom.
Of course, it wasn't like he'd been completely innocent, like he hadn't returned the kiss, pressing her against the closed door. It wasn't like his hands hadn't wandered, mapping out all the intimate dips and curves of her body that he'd previously only dreamed about. No, he was just as guilty of kissing her as she was of him.
All four times they'd managed to sneak a little time together.
Once outside, in the backyard. That...that was his favorite kiss so far. He'd wrapped his arms around her, held her close against the chilly night air, and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to her lips. It hadn't led anywhere frantic, needing, or desperate. It'd simply been the two of them enjoying each other's company.
And when he'd caught her gaze with his own, she hadn't looked away, hadn't ducked her head or closed her eyes. When he'd kissed her cheek, she'd dipped her head to rest it upon his shoulder. He'd known then, with a sureness he couldn't explain, that he held home in his arms.
Completely lost in pleasant memories, paying no attention to what he was doing, the Doctor reached for a wire, then jerked back as sparks shot out at him. Sucking his singed finger into his mouth, he popped his head out from beneath the console quick, glancing around the room to see if Rose had returned yet.
Nope. Still gone.
His poorly constructed distraction had lost all fun for him.
He'd needed a distraction in the other universe too. Jackie had benefited from his need to tinker, even if she hadn't seen the merits of extra settings on her blender right away. Yeah, he'd broken her coffee maker in the process, but the slightly bigger-on-the-inside washer and dryer should've more than made up for it.
He'd been just about to start rewiring their telly to receive channels from all over the world and beyond, when Rose announced that they were finally ready to go. Jackie had been relieved. But the Doctor hadn't missed the look of disappointment on Pete and Mickey's faces as their dreams of an extra five hundred sports channels slipped through their fingers.
“You gonna stay down there all day?” Rose's voice called out from somewhere to his left, startling him out of his stroll down memory lane, causing him to unceremoniously bang his head against the side of the console.
“Ow,” he grumbled, one hand rubbing at his temple as he stood up, the other absently smoothing down his jacket.
She was standing just a few feet away, leaning against a strut with a smile on her face that instantly made him forget whatever witty response he might have had, drawing all of his attention to her lips. Lips that he knew very well tasted like honey and vanilla.
The memories of the kisses they'd shared back on Pete's world were so fresh in his mind that they felt like they'd happened hours ago, not days. He could still feel the way her mouth molded to his so perfectly that very first time, nails scraping through his hair as her shower-warmed body pressed hard against his. Or the way her hands had slipped inside his jacket the night under the stars, wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer when the chilly night air made her shiver.
They'd all ended far too soon for his liking and he wanted to taste her again, slower and in a more leisurely fashion this time.
The desire to kiss her again was so overwhelming that he had to restrain himself from crossing the room and grabbing her right then and there, covering her mouth with his own and snogging her senseless. It wasn't that he'd changed his mind about her, or about them, it was just that--
“Doctor?” Rose broke into his thoughts again, a hint of amusement tingeing her voice.
He slid his eyes up to hers, saw a sparkle of laughter there and knew he'd been caught. “Right. Sorry. Got a bit distracted.” The look in her eyes told that him she knew exactly what he'd got distracted by. Clearing his throat, he pushed all thoughts of her warm lips and--unbidden, his gaze dropped down again, found her tongue poking out from between her teeth.
Ah, no, that wasn't helping any.
Jerking his head forward, he focused on the time rotor and swallowed hard. “All done then? Everything taken care of? Loose ends tied up nice and neat? Dangerous things, loose ends. Like un-tied shoelaces, getting you when you least expect it. One minute you're strolling along, minding your own business, the next you're on the floor and some bloke--” Babbling seemed to be the awkward-situation cover-up-of-choice for this incarnation.
Feeling Rose brush against his side, he looked down at her.
“Everything's sorted.” She slipped her hand into his, squeezing it briefly. “Console fixed?” Her gaze dropped down to the bits of wire still spilling out onto the floor at their feet. “Or are we stuck here for a few weeks?”
“Rose Tyler,” he gasped, making a mad dash around the console, setting the coordinates and flipping switches as he went. Now that she was ready to go he didn't want to waste another minute here on Earth. “I'll have you know that I'm quite capable. Fixed the problem twelve minutes and...” working his way back to her side, he stopped, hand hovering over the last button, “mmm, forty-three seconds ago.” Smacking his hand down, he grinned at her as the TARDIS materialized in the vortex. “Been waiting on you.”
"Who, me?" she queried, turning to face him more fully, smoothing her hand down the lapel of his suit coat. Slipping her thumb under his jacket, she stroked his chest, then slid her hand completely beneath the thin fabric, pausing over his left heart. She lifted her eyes to his, wide and curious.
A little caught off-guard, the Doctor lowered his gaze to her hand, making no other move, just enjoying the sensation of her touching him again. It felt like it'd been ages, and, yet, only seconds. "Definitely you."
She smiled shyly, teasingly at him. "And, what was it you wanted me for?" Her eyes lowered to his mouth. A second later, she stretched slowly upwards, leaning forward on tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his lips. "This?"
Letting his eyes flutter closed, he turned his body into hers, wrapping an arm around her back. "That's a start."
She smiled against his mouth, then stood higher, lips softly pressing against his left cheek. "Getting warmer?"
Tightening his arm around her, he shook his head. "Colder."
Lips curving even more, she dropped back down and snaked her hands around his neck, drawing him to her. Mouth covering his, she kissed him, lightly at first, and then deeper. Body pressing closely, she whimpered when he dropped both of his hands to her waist, drawing her flush against him.
It took so little for him to become wrapped up in her lately and he liked that. Liked being able to lose himself in someone else for a while. To quiet the voices of his past, to drown in the feelings she stirred in him.
And yet, it terrified him as well.
As she shifted, pressing him against the console, molding herself to him, he pulled free and pushed her back slightly. Just enough for him to breathe.
This wasn't the time or place for expanding his relationship with Rose.
Ignoring the disappointment on her face, the way her chest rose and fell heavily, the taste of her still on his lips, he caught his breath and grabbed the edge of the console with tight fingers. Avoiding her questioning gaze, he cleared his throat. "We should... go. Now." But he didn't move.
She wiped her lower lip with her thumb, then bit on the edge of her nail. "Oh, okay."
And that was definitely not helping.
Darting her gaze around the room, she was avoiding his eyes just as much as he was avoiding hers. “So,” she ventured, and he could tell she was trying to keep her voice even, “we off then?”
Straightening away from the console, and her, he felt relief flood through him that she wasn't pushing him right now. “Yup.” He popped his 'p' in the way he knew amused her, and he wasn't disappointed. “Requests?”
Without hesitating, she shook her head. “It's been so long...” there was a pause and she looked at him, a flash of sadness in her eyes. Then it was gone, and her smile became tentative but no less brilliant. “Anywhere you wanna take us is fine with me.”
“Pilot's choice it is then.” He nodded, secretly glad that she didn't have a specific destination in mind. He'd been thinking about it since she'd told him she wanted to travel with him again. Had been trying to come up with the perfect place to take her. He didn't want their first trip together again to end up in a life or death situation.
She was right, it'd been a long time since her last stint in the TARDIS, and he wanted to ease her back into things.
Although, seeing her life in the other universe, he was certain she'd probably had her share of aliens trying to take over the world. But this trip wasn't about being able to run for your life from the latest evil alien despot with an evil alien plan. This was about them. And they needed some time to get to know one another again.
Hopefully, in a completely new way.
“I know just the place," he told her, then looked down at the wires at his feet. "Ah. But first.” Dashing under the console and closing his eyes, his felt his grin slipping away as easily as water down a window.
~~~
Hands clutching at the edge of the console, attempting to keep herself from melting to the floor in a puddle of goo, Rose waited. Waited for her legs to stop shaking from the intensity of their kiss. Waited for her mind to stop imagining all the delectable things the Doctor could be doing to her body right now. Waited for the flood of disappointment over the way he'd abruptly ended the intimacy between them to subside.
Faint pinging sounds drifted up from beneath the console, ringing lightly in her ears, telling her that the Doctor wasn't done replacing the miscellaneous wires he'd taken out for repairs. She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly, blowing the hair off her forehead.
The longer he stayed under there, the more time she had to get herself back under control. If that were even possible anymore.
Every time he touched her lately, her legs turned to mush and she couldn't think straight. Every time he looked at her she felt desire burning through her body, felt a longing between her legs. Every time he spoke to her, even just to say her name, she wanted to close her eyes and drown in the sound of his voice.
The slowness with which things were moving forward between them was driving her mental, and she doubted she could take much more of it. She'd thought he felt the same way, felt the same impatience to expand on their relationship that she did. And the way he'd been acting back in Pete's world seemed to support that belief.
He'd stayed so close to her at first, seemed reluctant to leave her side for more than a few minutes at a time. But there'd been things to do before they could leave, before she felt ready to travel back across the void to this universe. Paperwork had to be filled out from the Wraith attack, new tech from one of their captured ships needed to be sorted, categorized, and there were various other issues that she insisted on seeing dealt with before swanning off for her new life.
Especially since she felt personally responsible for the invasion.
Shoving herself away from the console, Rose crossed the room to the jump seat, pushing those thoughts from her mind. There was no point in dwelling on things she couldn't change, and she didn't want to think about them anyway. Didn't want to think about all the horrible things that had happened over the last three years. Ever since Bad Wolf Bay.
She only wanted to remember the good.
Like the night the Doctor had come up behind her when she was doing the dishes, wrapped his arms around her waist, nibbling at her ear. It'd been confirmed then, what she'd always wondered about, his tongue really was just as brilliant as it'd looked when she'd seen it in action on marmalade-covered fingers and all sorts of other things he'd seen fit to lick and taste in her presence.
In between the gentle sucking on her earlobe and the light flicking of his tongue against her skin, he'd whispered words to her she'd never thought she'd hear from him. Words of want and desire, promises of things that he'd do to her once they were alone on the TARDIS again.
Just the two of them.
It'd been more than a bit distracting, and after just a few minutes of his ministrations, she'd dropped the plate she'd been trying to clean, giving up all pretense of actually caring. Then, like every other time they'd managed to find a moment to themselves, they'd been interrupted. Her mum had walked in on them and he'd just about jumped out of his skin, flying across the room and away from her so fast he nearly ran headfirst into the baker's rack by the back door.
Rose chuckled to herself.
It wasn't like her mum, and everyone else in the mansion, hadn't had a clue about them and what they were getting up to. Not that they were getting up to a lot because...well, she wasn't really sure why they weren't but it'd felt like the right thing to do at the time.
Now she was wishing they hadn't.
“All set,” the Doctor exclaimed, pulling himself out from under the console, a smudge of grease on his nose. His eyes landed on her briefly, and he smiled at her quick, before darting his gaze away again.
He was uncomfortable.
About what, she wasn't sure, but he was the king of avoidance, and before she could even take her next breath, he was flying about the console in hyper-mode.
Leaning back in the jump seat, she watched as he went about his familiar routine of setting them off on their next adventure. She could help him again, like she had on their trip between universes. She loved standing by his side, being an active participant in flying the TARDIS, but she loved watching him in action even more.
A warm, soothing sensation spread throughout her body. It felt so good to be home again. Not just back in her proper universe, but home. On the TARDIS, with the Doctor, the man who held her heart in his hands. The man she trusted with her life...
And, yet, not with her darkest secrets.
With a shake of her head, she settled herself more comfortably on the seat she'd spent many a time sitting on. Watching. She didn't want to go down that road right now, didn't want to think about the things she couldn't figure out how to tell him about just yet.
Later, she told herself. When things had settled down a bit.
Right now she just wanted to enjoy being with him. She'd missed him, missed this so much when she was stuck in Pete's world, that it'd been a physical ache, deep down in the pit of her stomach every time she thought of him. Thought of how she'd never get to see him again. But then she'd managed the impossible. Found her way back to him, to the life that she loved more than any she could've made for herself in the world that'd been thrust upon her unwanted.
She'd almost made it back to him once before. Almost. But she'd let her uncertainties about how he felt about her, what he'd think of her now, get in the way and she had run. Run and hid, not even giving him the option to decide for himself what he wanted, how he felt.
The ship began to shake, and she clutched at the edge of her seat to keep from falling off. The Doctor was doing the same thing, only sprawled halfway across the console, manic grin firmly in place, and she couldn't help but return the grin tenfold.
Things would be all right between them. She'd make sure of it.
A few minutes later, they landed in typical Doctor fashion. Rose nearly flew off her seat, having forgotten that the landing was often much rougher than the flight itself. The Doctor's eyes trained on her, but she was giggling before he had the chance to ask if she was all right, and then he was laughing too, a laugh that brought back memories of times past. The two of them. Here. In the console room. Together.
“Your driving hasn't improved any then,” she teased.
“Now, now, Miss Tyler,” he held a chivalrous hand out to her, waggling his eyebrows, “it's not nice to insult the designated driver.”
Accepting his offer of assistance, she bounced to her feet, grinning at him. “And did the designated driver get it right this time? Or should I go ask for directions?” It amazed her how easy it was to fall back into the old routines, feel the same camaraderie with him she'd felt before.
Like they'd never been separated in the first place.
“Cheeky.” He nodded toward the door. “Now go on. Unappreciative companions first.”
She looked at him, then the door, and back again, her excitement slowly slipping away as she realized she'd have to share him with this new planet. This new adventure. She wasn't ready to yet. She'd just got him to herself and there was nothing coming between them now. Nothing except the distance he'd suddenly decided to wedge up between them, and she didn't even know why.
Her mounting excitement fizzled out and she bit her lip. “Where are we?”
He tsked her. “Nope. You know the drill.” His hand unwound from hers and he gave her a slight nudge forward. “No telling.”
Crossing the room on legs that felt weighted down with dread, she wondered when things had changed.
Yes, they'd both made their intentions quite clear before, she thought as she reached the door, grasping the handle and turning it. They'd shared secret kisses and quiet moments while still on Pete's world. The Doctor seemed content to never let her out of his sight again, and the way he looked at her! It made her heart speed up at the thought.
But then, when they'd finally been alone, well and truly alone, he'd hesitated, pushed her away without explanation. And she'd let him. Just backed off from him and the kiss without question.
Rose stopped, door half open. He was doing it again. He was avoiding what she'd spent so many years longing for, wanting more than she could remember having wanted anything else.
“Rose?” She could feel his presence behind her, hear the hint of worry in the way he said her name.
Was that what this was? Him avoiding? Rushing them off into adventure--into danger--so that he could ignore what was happening between them? Regressing them back, from the point they'd struggled so hard to make it to, to something more akin to what they'd had before?
No.
She pulled the door shut. She wasn't going to let him do that. Wasn't going to step foot off the TARDIS until they, at the very least, talked about things. Mind made up, Rose turned to face him, objections on the tip of her tongue. But then he was turning from her, rushing up the ramp to the console, where he paused just long enough to perch his glasses on the bridge of his nose before dragging the monitor around to face him.
Tapping on the keyboard, he studied the screen. “Coordinates right. Date seems fine. Unless...nah, that coup doesn't start for another decade or two. Well, there is that one faction of renegades that tries to overthrow the government in...” he dragged the last syllable out, gaze turned to the ceiling far above them as he pondered the timelines, “any day now, really. But we should be far enough away--”
Rose quickly made her way to his side and stopped him, mid-ramble, with a firm, “Doctor,” then paused. Having made the decision to take matters into her own hands, she felt a sudden uprising of butterflies in her stomach as her nerves tried to get the better of her.
And the Doctor's intent gaze, focused entirely on her, wasn't helping matters any. “Rose,” he queried back, and she could tell he was trying to inject a little lightness into the situation.
He was close, so very close, and all she wanted to do was reach out and touch him. To make him feel like he made her feel.
She slipped in between him and the console, looking up at him, waiting for him to pull away, but he didn't, and she took a moment to just enjoy the feel of him against her; the lean, muscular plains of his body pressed into the soft curves of her own.
“Rose,” he whispered, breath disturbing the air around them, ghosting over her skin, making her hair flutter briefly against her cheek. “We shouldn't--”
“Why not?” She rose up on tiptoes, hands sliding up and around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. “We both want this, yeah?” Eyes level with his, she watched him closely as she leaned forward until their lips were almost touching.
He didn't make a move to stop her. That, at least, was something. Of course, it'd have been much preferable if he were doing something to encourage her. Taking the kiss she was offering for instance.
Touching her would be a good start too.
He didn't though. Didn't even twitch. Just met her gaze with his own, desire shimmering in its depths. But there was a hesitancy there as well, and she could feel his hands clenched into fists by his sides. He was holding himself back for some reason. Refusing to take that final step in their relationship. Why, she wasn't sure, but, she knew that whatever worrisome thought had taken up residence in his mind was unfounded. This, them, had been a long time coming and there was no doubt in her mind that it was the right thing.
Looking from his lips to his eyes and back again, Rose decided to push forward. Someone had to do something here and if he wasn't going to take the first step, then she might as well.
She moved slowly, ghosting her lips over his once, twice, three times before daring to press more firmly into him, with both mouth and body. Evidence of his arousal was already becoming apparent and she took that as ascent that, yes, he wanted this too. Wanted this now. But instead of opening up to her, he remained unresponsive. Disappointment flooded through her for the second time in less than an hour and she unceremoniously dropped back onto the soles of her feet. “Doctor?”
Eyes flitting over her face nervously, he licked his lips and took a deep breath before responding. “We should, ah...” He swallowed thickly. “Wait. We should wait. Maybe take things slowly?”
Despite the lack of humor in the situation, Rose felt like laughing. He couldn't be serious, could he? “Doctor, I've been waiting for you forever. Since you first took my hand and told me to run. I've been wanting this...you,” she clarified. “Been wanting you. And I thought...I thought you wanted me too.”
For a minute she thought he was going to turn her down again. She could only take so much denial--and she wasn't sure what she'd do or how she'd respond if he did it again. But then, before she even had the chance to process what was happening, he lowered his head, mouth covering hers in a soul-searing kiss that she wouldn't forget anytime soon.
If ever.
She opened up under him, sending an invitation that he couldn't possibly miss, and when his tongue probed hers, started to map out the warm recesses of her mouth, she imagined him lapping her up someplace else. The thought of his tongue in action on other parts of her body, in other parts of her body, turned her legs to jelly and she nearly dropped to the floor right then and there. The supportive arm around her waist was the only thing keeping her upright as he snogged her senseless.
Wasn't she supposed to be doing it to him?
Then everything was a blur of hands and fingers, hers and his, tugging, lifting, nearly ripping the clothes off their bodies as they slowly, awkwardly made their way out of the console room.
Her shirt landed somewhere between the monitor and the time rotor, one trainer underneath the jump seat, the other...well, Rose didn't much care where the other one went.
The Doctor lost his coat, suit jacket, and tie before they'd even made it through the door. And the hallway to her room didn't fare much better, what with them stopping every few feet to press one another against the wall, or just for some touching and a little more baring of bits and parts.
By the time they made it into bed, there wasn't a single scrap of fabric between them.
Author: momdaegmorgan - My master fic list
Rating: Adult for some chapters
Spoilers: Doomsday
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Rose, Jack, other characters
Summary: Rose and the Doctor have been reunited and are once again traveling through time and space together. They're also finally being honest about their feelings for one another but there are still secrets being kept, secrets that could threaten their newfound closeness.
Sequel to You've Got to Hide Your Love Away. It helps to have read that first.
Disclaimer: Doctor Who owns my soul. I own nothing.
Author's Note: Beta by sinecure. With an honorable mention to rachelbeann who keeps managing to convince me to let her read early previews of these chapters even though I keep telling her she has to wait like everyone else. :)
Sorry about the lateness of this chapter. Laptop woes kept me from updating anytime sooner. Luckily our little blizzard here hasn't affected our nets or it would've been even later than this. Also, I'm taking the next two weeks off posting. With the holiday season fully upon us I have lots of baking and shopping and wrapping and family functions to attend, leaving very little time for fanfic. Posting will resume it's normal schedule on January 2nd, 2009. I hope everyone has a very safe and happy holiday season.
There weren't actually any sort of emergency repairs that the Doctor needed to attend to. In fact, the TARDIS had survived the second trip between universes relatively unscathed. Oh, she was a little low on power, but not so much that she needed to refuel anytime soon, and a few non-essential systems had been banged up a bit, but the damage wasn't pressing enough that it needed to be dealt with immediately.
Upper body buried deep in the innards of the console, the Doctor wasn't tinkering with any clear intent. Unless, of course, you figured in the fact that he was avoiding; not just Jack, but the whole lot of them.
Never fond of goodbyes, especially awkward ones, he had absolutely no desire to be present for this one.
After fifteen minutes however, he was bored. More than just bored, he was impatient. He'd certainly managed staying stationary for longer than this before, but now that he had Rose back, he wanted her by his side, not off with other people. He wanted to swan off with her for destinations unknown. To find adventure around every corner. His fingers itched to set the coordinates that would take them to the next planet, the next solar system, the next century.
Yet, still he waited.
He knew she needed this. Needed to say her goodbyes and tie up any loose ends on Earth before she was ready to travel with him again. She'd made friends here, made those connections that were necessary to her species, and so many others, and he wasn't going to take that away from her.
Determined not to rush her, especially after recent events and revelations, he continued to strip and reconnect various wires, rerouting this system or that, all for the sake of distraction. As he worked, he let his mind wander to the better parts of the last week spent in Pete's world.
Rose had stayed close to his side at first, watching him out of the corner of her eye, brushing up against him every chance she got, a knowing smile teasing her lips. She'd understood exactly what she was doing to him. How, he wasn't sure. He'd always been so careful not to let on just how much she affected him, but she knew anyway. Knew that she was setting his blood on fire, making it difficult, if not impossible for him to avoid sneaking into her room in the middle of the night while the rest of the house slept.
Somehow he'd managed to keep his desires in check.
Well...there had been the one time, but that was entirely Rose's fault.
They'd run into each other in an otherwise empty hallway; Rose just leaving her room with a duffel filled with clothes, the Doctor looking for Pete. It was a rare enough occurrence during those last few days for them to be in the same room together, much less alone. More often than not, Rose was with Jackie, spending as much time with her mum as she could before they left.
When they'd both come to a startled stop, mere inches from one another, Rose had been the one to take the initiative. After dropping her bag, she'd grabbed him, snogging him good and proper as she backed him into her darkened bedroom.
Of course, it wasn't like he'd been completely innocent, like he hadn't returned the kiss, pressing her against the closed door. It wasn't like his hands hadn't wandered, mapping out all the intimate dips and curves of her body that he'd previously only dreamed about. No, he was just as guilty of kissing her as she was of him.
All four times they'd managed to sneak a little time together.
Once outside, in the backyard. That...that was his favorite kiss so far. He'd wrapped his arms around her, held her close against the chilly night air, and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to her lips. It hadn't led anywhere frantic, needing, or desperate. It'd simply been the two of them enjoying each other's company.
And when he'd caught her gaze with his own, she hadn't looked away, hadn't ducked her head or closed her eyes. When he'd kissed her cheek, she'd dipped her head to rest it upon his shoulder. He'd known then, with a sureness he couldn't explain, that he held home in his arms.
Completely lost in pleasant memories, paying no attention to what he was doing, the Doctor reached for a wire, then jerked back as sparks shot out at him. Sucking his singed finger into his mouth, he popped his head out from beneath the console quick, glancing around the room to see if Rose had returned yet.
Nope. Still gone.
His poorly constructed distraction had lost all fun for him.
He'd needed a distraction in the other universe too. Jackie had benefited from his need to tinker, even if she hadn't seen the merits of extra settings on her blender right away. Yeah, he'd broken her coffee maker in the process, but the slightly bigger-on-the-inside washer and dryer should've more than made up for it.
He'd been just about to start rewiring their telly to receive channels from all over the world and beyond, when Rose announced that they were finally ready to go. Jackie had been relieved. But the Doctor hadn't missed the look of disappointment on Pete and Mickey's faces as their dreams of an extra five hundred sports channels slipped through their fingers.
“You gonna stay down there all day?” Rose's voice called out from somewhere to his left, startling him out of his stroll down memory lane, causing him to unceremoniously bang his head against the side of the console.
“Ow,” he grumbled, one hand rubbing at his temple as he stood up, the other absently smoothing down his jacket.
She was standing just a few feet away, leaning against a strut with a smile on her face that instantly made him forget whatever witty response he might have had, drawing all of his attention to her lips. Lips that he knew very well tasted like honey and vanilla.
The memories of the kisses they'd shared back on Pete's world were so fresh in his mind that they felt like they'd happened hours ago, not days. He could still feel the way her mouth molded to his so perfectly that very first time, nails scraping through his hair as her shower-warmed body pressed hard against his. Or the way her hands had slipped inside his jacket the night under the stars, wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer when the chilly night air made her shiver.
They'd all ended far too soon for his liking and he wanted to taste her again, slower and in a more leisurely fashion this time.
The desire to kiss her again was so overwhelming that he had to restrain himself from crossing the room and grabbing her right then and there, covering her mouth with his own and snogging her senseless. It wasn't that he'd changed his mind about her, or about them, it was just that--
“Doctor?” Rose broke into his thoughts again, a hint of amusement tingeing her voice.
He slid his eyes up to hers, saw a sparkle of laughter there and knew he'd been caught. “Right. Sorry. Got a bit distracted.” The look in her eyes told that him she knew exactly what he'd got distracted by. Clearing his throat, he pushed all thoughts of her warm lips and--unbidden, his gaze dropped down again, found her tongue poking out from between her teeth.
Ah, no, that wasn't helping any.
Jerking his head forward, he focused on the time rotor and swallowed hard. “All done then? Everything taken care of? Loose ends tied up nice and neat? Dangerous things, loose ends. Like un-tied shoelaces, getting you when you least expect it. One minute you're strolling along, minding your own business, the next you're on the floor and some bloke--” Babbling seemed to be the awkward-situation cover-up-of-choice for this incarnation.
Feeling Rose brush against his side, he looked down at her.
“Everything's sorted.” She slipped her hand into his, squeezing it briefly. “Console fixed?” Her gaze dropped down to the bits of wire still spilling out onto the floor at their feet. “Or are we stuck here for a few weeks?”
“Rose Tyler,” he gasped, making a mad dash around the console, setting the coordinates and flipping switches as he went. Now that she was ready to go he didn't want to waste another minute here on Earth. “I'll have you know that I'm quite capable. Fixed the problem twelve minutes and...” working his way back to her side, he stopped, hand hovering over the last button, “mmm, forty-three seconds ago.” Smacking his hand down, he grinned at her as the TARDIS materialized in the vortex. “Been waiting on you.”
"Who, me?" she queried, turning to face him more fully, smoothing her hand down the lapel of his suit coat. Slipping her thumb under his jacket, she stroked his chest, then slid her hand completely beneath the thin fabric, pausing over his left heart. She lifted her eyes to his, wide and curious.
A little caught off-guard, the Doctor lowered his gaze to her hand, making no other move, just enjoying the sensation of her touching him again. It felt like it'd been ages, and, yet, only seconds. "Definitely you."
She smiled shyly, teasingly at him. "And, what was it you wanted me for?" Her eyes lowered to his mouth. A second later, she stretched slowly upwards, leaning forward on tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his lips. "This?"
Letting his eyes flutter closed, he turned his body into hers, wrapping an arm around her back. "That's a start."
She smiled against his mouth, then stood higher, lips softly pressing against his left cheek. "Getting warmer?"
Tightening his arm around her, he shook his head. "Colder."
Lips curving even more, she dropped back down and snaked her hands around his neck, drawing him to her. Mouth covering his, she kissed him, lightly at first, and then deeper. Body pressing closely, she whimpered when he dropped both of his hands to her waist, drawing her flush against him.
It took so little for him to become wrapped up in her lately and he liked that. Liked being able to lose himself in someone else for a while. To quiet the voices of his past, to drown in the feelings she stirred in him.
And yet, it terrified him as well.
As she shifted, pressing him against the console, molding herself to him, he pulled free and pushed her back slightly. Just enough for him to breathe.
This wasn't the time or place for expanding his relationship with Rose.
Ignoring the disappointment on her face, the way her chest rose and fell heavily, the taste of her still on his lips, he caught his breath and grabbed the edge of the console with tight fingers. Avoiding her questioning gaze, he cleared his throat. "We should... go. Now." But he didn't move.
She wiped her lower lip with her thumb, then bit on the edge of her nail. "Oh, okay."
And that was definitely not helping.
Darting her gaze around the room, she was avoiding his eyes just as much as he was avoiding hers. “So,” she ventured, and he could tell she was trying to keep her voice even, “we off then?”
Straightening away from the console, and her, he felt relief flood through him that she wasn't pushing him right now. “Yup.” He popped his 'p' in the way he knew amused her, and he wasn't disappointed. “Requests?”
Without hesitating, she shook her head. “It's been so long...” there was a pause and she looked at him, a flash of sadness in her eyes. Then it was gone, and her smile became tentative but no less brilliant. “Anywhere you wanna take us is fine with me.”
“Pilot's choice it is then.” He nodded, secretly glad that she didn't have a specific destination in mind. He'd been thinking about it since she'd told him she wanted to travel with him again. Had been trying to come up with the perfect place to take her. He didn't want their first trip together again to end up in a life or death situation.
She was right, it'd been a long time since her last stint in the TARDIS, and he wanted to ease her back into things.
Although, seeing her life in the other universe, he was certain she'd probably had her share of aliens trying to take over the world. But this trip wasn't about being able to run for your life from the latest evil alien despot with an evil alien plan. This was about them. And they needed some time to get to know one another again.
Hopefully, in a completely new way.
“I know just the place," he told her, then looked down at the wires at his feet. "Ah. But first.” Dashing under the console and closing his eyes, his felt his grin slipping away as easily as water down a window.
~~~
Hands clutching at the edge of the console, attempting to keep herself from melting to the floor in a puddle of goo, Rose waited. Waited for her legs to stop shaking from the intensity of their kiss. Waited for her mind to stop imagining all the delectable things the Doctor could be doing to her body right now. Waited for the flood of disappointment over the way he'd abruptly ended the intimacy between them to subside.
Faint pinging sounds drifted up from beneath the console, ringing lightly in her ears, telling her that the Doctor wasn't done replacing the miscellaneous wires he'd taken out for repairs. She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly, blowing the hair off her forehead.
The longer he stayed under there, the more time she had to get herself back under control. If that were even possible anymore.
Every time he touched her lately, her legs turned to mush and she couldn't think straight. Every time he looked at her she felt desire burning through her body, felt a longing between her legs. Every time he spoke to her, even just to say her name, she wanted to close her eyes and drown in the sound of his voice.
The slowness with which things were moving forward between them was driving her mental, and she doubted she could take much more of it. She'd thought he felt the same way, felt the same impatience to expand on their relationship that she did. And the way he'd been acting back in Pete's world seemed to support that belief.
He'd stayed so close to her at first, seemed reluctant to leave her side for more than a few minutes at a time. But there'd been things to do before they could leave, before she felt ready to travel back across the void to this universe. Paperwork had to be filled out from the Wraith attack, new tech from one of their captured ships needed to be sorted, categorized, and there were various other issues that she insisted on seeing dealt with before swanning off for her new life.
Especially since she felt personally responsible for the invasion.
Shoving herself away from the console, Rose crossed the room to the jump seat, pushing those thoughts from her mind. There was no point in dwelling on things she couldn't change, and she didn't want to think about them anyway. Didn't want to think about all the horrible things that had happened over the last three years. Ever since Bad Wolf Bay.
She only wanted to remember the good.
Like the night the Doctor had come up behind her when she was doing the dishes, wrapped his arms around her waist, nibbling at her ear. It'd been confirmed then, what she'd always wondered about, his tongue really was just as brilliant as it'd looked when she'd seen it in action on marmalade-covered fingers and all sorts of other things he'd seen fit to lick and taste in her presence.
In between the gentle sucking on her earlobe and the light flicking of his tongue against her skin, he'd whispered words to her she'd never thought she'd hear from him. Words of want and desire, promises of things that he'd do to her once they were alone on the TARDIS again.
Just the two of them.
It'd been more than a bit distracting, and after just a few minutes of his ministrations, she'd dropped the plate she'd been trying to clean, giving up all pretense of actually caring. Then, like every other time they'd managed to find a moment to themselves, they'd been interrupted. Her mum had walked in on them and he'd just about jumped out of his skin, flying across the room and away from her so fast he nearly ran headfirst into the baker's rack by the back door.
Rose chuckled to herself.
It wasn't like her mum, and everyone else in the mansion, hadn't had a clue about them and what they were getting up to. Not that they were getting up to a lot because...well, she wasn't really sure why they weren't but it'd felt like the right thing to do at the time.
Now she was wishing they hadn't.
“All set,” the Doctor exclaimed, pulling himself out from under the console, a smudge of grease on his nose. His eyes landed on her briefly, and he smiled at her quick, before darting his gaze away again.
He was uncomfortable.
About what, she wasn't sure, but he was the king of avoidance, and before she could even take her next breath, he was flying about the console in hyper-mode.
Leaning back in the jump seat, she watched as he went about his familiar routine of setting them off on their next adventure. She could help him again, like she had on their trip between universes. She loved standing by his side, being an active participant in flying the TARDIS, but she loved watching him in action even more.
A warm, soothing sensation spread throughout her body. It felt so good to be home again. Not just back in her proper universe, but home. On the TARDIS, with the Doctor, the man who held her heart in his hands. The man she trusted with her life...
And, yet, not with her darkest secrets.
With a shake of her head, she settled herself more comfortably on the seat she'd spent many a time sitting on. Watching. She didn't want to go down that road right now, didn't want to think about the things she couldn't figure out how to tell him about just yet.
Later, she told herself. When things had settled down a bit.
Right now she just wanted to enjoy being with him. She'd missed him, missed this so much when she was stuck in Pete's world, that it'd been a physical ache, deep down in the pit of her stomach every time she thought of him. Thought of how she'd never get to see him again. But then she'd managed the impossible. Found her way back to him, to the life that she loved more than any she could've made for herself in the world that'd been thrust upon her unwanted.
She'd almost made it back to him once before. Almost. But she'd let her uncertainties about how he felt about her, what he'd think of her now, get in the way and she had run. Run and hid, not even giving him the option to decide for himself what he wanted, how he felt.
The ship began to shake, and she clutched at the edge of her seat to keep from falling off. The Doctor was doing the same thing, only sprawled halfway across the console, manic grin firmly in place, and she couldn't help but return the grin tenfold.
Things would be all right between them. She'd make sure of it.
A few minutes later, they landed in typical Doctor fashion. Rose nearly flew off her seat, having forgotten that the landing was often much rougher than the flight itself. The Doctor's eyes trained on her, but she was giggling before he had the chance to ask if she was all right, and then he was laughing too, a laugh that brought back memories of times past. The two of them. Here. In the console room. Together.
“Your driving hasn't improved any then,” she teased.
“Now, now, Miss Tyler,” he held a chivalrous hand out to her, waggling his eyebrows, “it's not nice to insult the designated driver.”
Accepting his offer of assistance, she bounced to her feet, grinning at him. “And did the designated driver get it right this time? Or should I go ask for directions?” It amazed her how easy it was to fall back into the old routines, feel the same camaraderie with him she'd felt before.
Like they'd never been separated in the first place.
“Cheeky.” He nodded toward the door. “Now go on. Unappreciative companions first.”
She looked at him, then the door, and back again, her excitement slowly slipping away as she realized she'd have to share him with this new planet. This new adventure. She wasn't ready to yet. She'd just got him to herself and there was nothing coming between them now. Nothing except the distance he'd suddenly decided to wedge up between them, and she didn't even know why.
Her mounting excitement fizzled out and she bit her lip. “Where are we?”
He tsked her. “Nope. You know the drill.” His hand unwound from hers and he gave her a slight nudge forward. “No telling.”
Crossing the room on legs that felt weighted down with dread, she wondered when things had changed.
Yes, they'd both made their intentions quite clear before, she thought as she reached the door, grasping the handle and turning it. They'd shared secret kisses and quiet moments while still on Pete's world. The Doctor seemed content to never let her out of his sight again, and the way he looked at her! It made her heart speed up at the thought.
But then, when they'd finally been alone, well and truly alone, he'd hesitated, pushed her away without explanation. And she'd let him. Just backed off from him and the kiss without question.
Rose stopped, door half open. He was doing it again. He was avoiding what she'd spent so many years longing for, wanting more than she could remember having wanted anything else.
“Rose?” She could feel his presence behind her, hear the hint of worry in the way he said her name.
Was that what this was? Him avoiding? Rushing them off into adventure--into danger--so that he could ignore what was happening between them? Regressing them back, from the point they'd struggled so hard to make it to, to something more akin to what they'd had before?
No.
She pulled the door shut. She wasn't going to let him do that. Wasn't going to step foot off the TARDIS until they, at the very least, talked about things. Mind made up, Rose turned to face him, objections on the tip of her tongue. But then he was turning from her, rushing up the ramp to the console, where he paused just long enough to perch his glasses on the bridge of his nose before dragging the monitor around to face him.
Tapping on the keyboard, he studied the screen. “Coordinates right. Date seems fine. Unless...nah, that coup doesn't start for another decade or two. Well, there is that one faction of renegades that tries to overthrow the government in...” he dragged the last syllable out, gaze turned to the ceiling far above them as he pondered the timelines, “any day now, really. But we should be far enough away--”
Rose quickly made her way to his side and stopped him, mid-ramble, with a firm, “Doctor,” then paused. Having made the decision to take matters into her own hands, she felt a sudden uprising of butterflies in her stomach as her nerves tried to get the better of her.
And the Doctor's intent gaze, focused entirely on her, wasn't helping matters any. “Rose,” he queried back, and she could tell he was trying to inject a little lightness into the situation.
He was close, so very close, and all she wanted to do was reach out and touch him. To make him feel like he made her feel.
She slipped in between him and the console, looking up at him, waiting for him to pull away, but he didn't, and she took a moment to just enjoy the feel of him against her; the lean, muscular plains of his body pressed into the soft curves of her own.
“Rose,” he whispered, breath disturbing the air around them, ghosting over her skin, making her hair flutter briefly against her cheek. “We shouldn't--”
“Why not?” She rose up on tiptoes, hands sliding up and around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. “We both want this, yeah?” Eyes level with his, she watched him closely as she leaned forward until their lips were almost touching.
He didn't make a move to stop her. That, at least, was something. Of course, it'd have been much preferable if he were doing something to encourage her. Taking the kiss she was offering for instance.
Touching her would be a good start too.
He didn't though. Didn't even twitch. Just met her gaze with his own, desire shimmering in its depths. But there was a hesitancy there as well, and she could feel his hands clenched into fists by his sides. He was holding himself back for some reason. Refusing to take that final step in their relationship. Why, she wasn't sure, but, she knew that whatever worrisome thought had taken up residence in his mind was unfounded. This, them, had been a long time coming and there was no doubt in her mind that it was the right thing.
Looking from his lips to his eyes and back again, Rose decided to push forward. Someone had to do something here and if he wasn't going to take the first step, then she might as well.
She moved slowly, ghosting her lips over his once, twice, three times before daring to press more firmly into him, with both mouth and body. Evidence of his arousal was already becoming apparent and she took that as ascent that, yes, he wanted this too. Wanted this now. But instead of opening up to her, he remained unresponsive. Disappointment flooded through her for the second time in less than an hour and she unceremoniously dropped back onto the soles of her feet. “Doctor?”
Eyes flitting over her face nervously, he licked his lips and took a deep breath before responding. “We should, ah...” He swallowed thickly. “Wait. We should wait. Maybe take things slowly?”
Despite the lack of humor in the situation, Rose felt like laughing. He couldn't be serious, could he? “Doctor, I've been waiting for you forever. Since you first took my hand and told me to run. I've been wanting this...you,” she clarified. “Been wanting you. And I thought...I thought you wanted me too.”
For a minute she thought he was going to turn her down again. She could only take so much denial--and she wasn't sure what she'd do or how she'd respond if he did it again. But then, before she even had the chance to process what was happening, he lowered his head, mouth covering hers in a soul-searing kiss that she wouldn't forget anytime soon.
If ever.
She opened up under him, sending an invitation that he couldn't possibly miss, and when his tongue probed hers, started to map out the warm recesses of her mouth, she imagined him lapping her up someplace else. The thought of his tongue in action on other parts of her body, in other parts of her body, turned her legs to jelly and she nearly dropped to the floor right then and there. The supportive arm around her waist was the only thing keeping her upright as he snogged her senseless.
Wasn't she supposed to be doing it to him?
Then everything was a blur of hands and fingers, hers and his, tugging, lifting, nearly ripping the clothes off their bodies as they slowly, awkwardly made their way out of the console room.
Her shirt landed somewhere between the monitor and the time rotor, one trainer underneath the jump seat, the other...well, Rose didn't much care where the other one went.
The Doctor lost his coat, suit jacket, and tie before they'd even made it through the door. And the hallway to her room didn't fare much better, what with them stopping every few feet to press one another against the wall, or just for some touching and a little more baring of bits and parts.
By the time they made it into bed, there wasn't a single scrap of fabric between them.