Alphabutt.
Title: Alphabutt.
Chapter: C is for College.
Pairing: Nove.
Disclaimer: I dont own the boosh. so please dont sue me i have so little to give.
Previous: ( A is for Alt-Country. ) ( B is for Brown. )
"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Noel cursed, throwing things around the campus room.
"What's wrong?" Dave asked him, avoiding paintbrushes and clothes.
"I've lost my essay! FUCK!"
Nigel Coan shrugged. "Thats why you should hand things in once they're done. Then you dont have to worry about deadlines or losses."
"Yeah well its not like I lost a pen is it?"
"Dont get snappy at Nige!" Dave snapped.
"AH!" Noel shrieked. "I FOUND IT!" He laughed and ran out of the room. "I HAVE TO TAKE IT BEFORE I LOSE IT AGAIN!"
*
"Where's Nige gone?" Noel asked, watching Dave paint a canvas so delicately.
"Out." Dave replied simply.
Noel sat down behind Dave. "Where's he gone?" Noel leant forward and breathed softly in Dave's ear.
Dave closed his eyes and sighed. "Out." He said again.
"Will he be gone a long time?" Noel was starting to sound a little suggestive, his hand began stroking the opposite side of Dave's neck.
"Who cares!" Dave threr his brush and pounced on Noel, knocking him to the floor and kissing him passionately.
After 20 minutes of fumbling and lubricating, Dave inserted himself, Noel had a pained teary look on his face.
"It will hurt." Dave told him. "If you want me to stop I will."
"I dont want you to stop." Noel shook his head. "I want you to do it."
It did hurt, Noel was pretty sure he was bleeding. But it was magical and Noel was sad when it was over. "Dont stop." He panted.
Dave cocked his head and kissed Noel's chest.
"I knew it was gonna happen someday." Noel sighed, and opened his eyes to look at Dave. "Thank you."
Not even Noel was sure what he was thankful of, the sex? The magic? Being a friend? Or all 3? Noel learnt a lot in that one evening, he learnt a lot about himself, that he couldnt only be attracted to girls, sometimes boys.
Dave also learnt a lot about Noel. He was never a horrible person, and deep down inside he had a romantic and tender side to him.
"Thank you." Noel said again, this time sounding like he was going to cry.
*Now*
Dave panicked as he watched Noel be wheeled off to A&E.
"Uh... Daaaave!"
Dave looked to his left and saw a paraletic Rich Fulcher in a wheelchair partly dressed like a woman.
"I got your text, what's happened?" Julian asked, rushing to Dave's side. He took one look at Rich and said "Oh well thats just embarrassing."
"These people have got lives to save Rich!" Dave spat, angrily. "Like Noels. They dont need to take care of you cos you cant handle your drink."
Rich opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was vomit.
"Your disgusting" Dave walked away, stumbling slightly from still being intoxicated.
Julian hurried off after him. "Wait! Dave, what happened?"
"I dunno." Dave shrugged as though he'd had enough. "We were fucking about and then he said he felt weird and he just... passed out. I thought it was just because we drank a fucking lot.. But he wasnt breathing too good and he had a fucking sezure, Julian!"
Julian swallowed his anger, because he knew Dave didnt mean to take it out on him. He watched him sit down and cover his head, waiting for him to say something.
A doctor wandered out of Noel's room and closed the door behind him. "Mr. Brown isnt it?" He asked.
Dave nodded and didnt look up.
"My name is Julian Mott, I'll be monitoring Mr. Fielding's health until we see fit he can leave-"
Julian's eyebrows raised at the fact Noel's doctor was also called 'Julian'.
"-But first, I need you to tell me what exactly happened."
Dave shot up. "I'm not going through it all again!" He snapped, walking away in frustration.
"Come on Dave! Behave yourself!" Julian called back.
"Fuck off Barratt!" Dave flipped him the bird. "I dont need you!"
Julian swallowed is anger again and looked at the doctor, staring at him wide eyed. Julian's paranoia set in instantly. "Yes?" He asked, stepping away.
"Are you a relative?" Dr. Julian asked.
"I'm a friend."
"Hi. My name is Julian Mott, I'll be monitoring Mr Fielding's h-"
"Health until you see fit he can leave. Hi. My name is Julian Barratt and I'll be monitoring Mr Fielding when he wakes up, and preventing him from punching you for calling him Mr Fielding. He doesnt like that.. Noel is gonna be okay isn't he?"
Dr. Julian shrugged. "Until we know what happened, we cant treat him. We cant guess, we're not that good."