Charmed, I'm Sure.
Title: Charmed, I'm Sure.
Chapter: Four: She Knows.
Pairing: Julia(n)/Noelian/Noelia
Disclaimer: I dont own the boosh. so please dont sue me i have so little to give.
Previous: ( Prologue. ) ( One: Prince Charming. ) ( Two: Saturday Mornings. ) ( Three: Oh My Dearest. )
The message from Noel simply read;
She knows! x
And Julian panicked. "Shit." He sighed.
Julia stopped hoovering and looked at it like it had just grown a pair of breasts. "Huh." She sounded.
My name is Mindhorn, Bruno Mindhorn.
I Swim backwards, forwards, sideways.
I'm in love with a woman, shes got no eyes.
I found her drawing cows near Bruges
I dont know her name, I call her Mrs China.
She were a coiffeur but it ended in bloodshed.
Now she lives in a glass cage in a townhall in Gent.
Every 3 years- on a tuesday- I dust her.
Julian took a while to register the noise was coming from inside his own head. He wasnt sure why he had Ralfe Band in his head, or why it was playing so loudly. "Is it broken?" He asked.
"I think so." Julia sighed unplugging it.
"For fucks sake." Julian started nibbling on a digestive.
"What's wrong?" Julia giggled.
"Everythings falling apart! It's all... falling apart!" He said, shortly after the digestive snapped and landed in his lap. "SEE!"
Julia laughed and knealt infront of him, plucking the biscuit from his thigh and eating it herself. "Don't you think you're over reacting a little bit? Just a little bit?"
"No! I'm not! Dont laugh, its too sad! It shouldn't be!"
"It's just a hoover." Julia smiled. "We'll get another one at the weekend."
Julian glared at the hoover, as if it was the hoovers fault he'd slept with Noel- twice. As if it was the hoovers fault Dee knew and Dee was friends with Julia and Julia knew Julian and also his sons. When Julian had claimed everything was falling apart, he didnt mean the hoover. He meant Dee knowing. Now he was regretting ever sleeping with Noel because now Julia would find out, and leave him and that would make him sad. "IT'S EVIL!" Julian exclaimed, making Julia jump.
She turned and kicked the hoover so it fell over. "Yes! Nasty! Evil hoover! Feel better?"
Julian puffed his cheeks and sighed. "When I told you I was in love with somebody else... I meant it."
"No you didnt, because I know what you're like."
"I think I'm gonna die."
"Course you are, one day."
"No.." He whined. "I mean... Like.. Soon."
Julia shook her head. "No your not. All this because of a hoover. What's the matter Jules?"
He looked up at her, wide eyed. "I'm insane!" He said, as though she was supposed to know that.
She knew someone had got to him, he was a sensitive man and he had a habit of taking some thing's to heart. "No you're not."
"I fucked up Julia! Really proper seriously badly!"
"You have to stop behaving like this Julian. You're doin' my box in!" She stood up and walked away, frustrated at his lack of cooperation.
He watched her walk into the kitchen and then looked back at the hoover on the floor. "I'll kill someone one day!" He called, before quietly adding. "Probably."
My old lady friend said that I was 'round the bend when she saw me hiding tins of glue.
I said "No I'm not, I've simply got a soft spot for sticking peoples faces to their shoes."
"I'm confused." She said, and went upstairs to bed.
Julian winced as the rest of the song played loudly in his ears.