I'm not sure where to begin.  Everyone is making "statements" about where they stand with anti-racism and alliance and action and the Black Lives Matter movement.  Every time I start to type something I stop.  Am I being authentic?  Will I be perceived as fragile?  Guilty?  Is my white privilege showing if I speak from the heart?  Should I even be ( Read more... )

wow...so much has changed since i was last here. people have come and gone from my life that i would never have expected. in some ways i feel very guarded - with my privacy and the people i let into my life. i was shown sides of people that i never thought possible. i often felt very vulnerable or naive, especially in regards to relationships ( Read more... )

stop reading my journal.
google geek.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh haaaaaaaaaa.

there are days, and weeks, where it feels like you can't win. pleasing people while sticking to your gut and trying to do your best is a constant challenge. sometimes you think you're doing your best and nobody cares. other times you stray - you're just living, doing as you would and not taking into consideration whether or not you're working at ( Read more... )

so at the end of March I decided to become a Vegan. full out, no cheating, up your face Vegan. so far, so good. only took a week off and ate some cheese in Switzerland about two weeks into it, but I promised I'd never be ridiculously high maintenance about it and you eat cheese when you're in Switzerland, enough said. anyway, aside from cutting ( Read more... )

All I know is that you're so nice ( Read more... )

on any given day the entryway in my apartment building smells like a tennis court. i kind of like that. it brings back memories of my childhood. i remember waiting on the side of the indoor courts at longfellow, or running my fingers down the chicken wire petitions separating the courts as i bugged my dad for a ride home. tonight it smelled ( Read more... )

i am sitting here in my office nearly a year after i last wrote. life changes so fast - it's hard to believe i am where i am. just over a year ago i was in college getting ready to graduate with my friends. my life was so different. days consuming of late mornings and late nights, living with my best friends, the boys across the hall, homework ( Read more... )

For reflection, evaluation, and action.

totally destroyed. it took over a year to get to a peaceful state of mind and then in an instant i let that go and within another year, i am back. chewed up and spit out again. i want so desperately to move away and clear my mind but i've committed to so many other things here now, especially since i thought i had my future waiting for me, now ( Read more... )