and felt oddly compelled to revisit the old me. Last night The Girl wrenched some actual personal information out of me and it was painful and embarrassing but now after almost two years she is getting close to knowing me. Yes, The Girl. She is fantastic and lovely and fancies herself a tomboy when she's all legs and long hair and the highest of ( Read more... )

I guess my fourth of July super long weekend was pretty great. I went to my boss' new house for a pre-fourth/housewarming/birthday party for her boyfriend. Where she got silly drunk and writhed on the patio floor in her best impersonation of Madonna in the Cherish video. And I cried inside because I forgot to bring a camera. Then I found myself ( Read more... )

I feel like there's nothing going on in my life but at the same time, there's too much. And that makes me feel all crazy in the head. I don't know if its the moon cycle or maybe I am unusually hormonal but I'm like, alternating between wanting to cry and needing to freak out. Maybe I just need a vacation. From people. Maybe I need my apartment to ( Read more... )

So one of the wonderful perks of being my boss when she isn't there is that I never have to work another Sunday or Monday unless someone on staff dies. Which is just stupendous. I haven't had a Sunday off in eleventy-five years and I can't say that I'm going to miss working at 6:30 am every Monday. I didn't even know what to do with myself. I ( Read more... )

Um, we skipped spring I guess and now it is summer. Which means sidewalk sales and boys in ugly shorts. And tourists. Why do out-of-towners even come here? It makes no sense. There are entire states that thrive on the business of tourists yet they come to this little town in droves, hoping to find what? Erected statues of famous lesbians and pride ( Read more... )

A friend of mine is convinced that I'm sleeping with her boyfriend but she won't confront me about it. For obvious reasons. I mean, if I were, which I am not, I wouldn't fess up in eleventy-five years. Who would? "Yeah, I'm totally fucking Andrew. Are you mad?" But it kind of makes me feel shitty. Like she doesn't trust me. She obviously doesn't. I ( Read more... )

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Hi Eve. I love you and that's all that I really wanted to say tonight.

Friends only.

I never say anything profound or beautiful. I am only funny in my own mind. I enjoy whining about any and everything. My life has the potential to bore you to tears.

Trust me when I say that you are missing nothing.