Running for Their Lives Chapter 2 REDO

[shantyrfan]

Chapter 2

“NO!” Louise screamed in her sleep as her body tossed and turned causing her to almost fall off the seat of the coach.

“Louise,” Dewitt knelt before her, running his hands across her tear stained face.

“Huh?” His touch jerked her awake. Her body froze as she saw the captivated look in his eyes.

Comments

[mercy2908]

Oh Tyler is such a dark character, sharping his claws to get to Lou with sweet words. Lou is really in a vulnerable position, but she's trusting this man too easily after the way Wicks treated her. I imagine Lou sees this man like a older, good man who treats her like a daughter? Lou must feel lonely and needy, and I wonder how her bad experiences with men are going to play when she gets rid of Tyler and gets to know Kid. Personally, I wouldn't let anybody touch me again.

Thanks a lot

[lalaith_paola]

I agree with Mercy. Tyler is really creepy!!
I mean, he acts all sweet and fatherly to Lou and she, despite Charlotte's warnings, is too vulnerable and naive to see past Tyler's facade.
In a way Tyler is even worse than Wicks, at least Lou soon understood what kind of man he was, instead it'll took her a lot more time and pain to see Tyler's real face!

Paola

[shantyrfan]

Thanks for the comments Mercy and Paola! Yes, in a lot of ways Tyler is more of a father figure to Louise, in fact I recall she mentions that later on in the story. You've got to remember she is barely 14 at the point (and the script for GNSC actually says she is 13, I believe). She is very scared and all alone. Tyler is making himself look like a knight in shining armor to win her over. He has purely selfish reasons for being so kind and protective of her but he has no intentions of hurting her like Wicks. He's wants to love her and have her love him, sort of an obsessed stalker type thing but then once they are married it will turn into wanting to control her as well. This addition is turning out to be much longer than I planned but I feel it's necessary. I think it will be at least 3 or 4 more chapters before it jumps to the original opening (which I will be reworking a bit as well). Your comments are also making me rethink Lou's original attitude towards Kid and perhaps it should be a bit more negative.