I've been commissioned to work on the lyrics for one of DJ Assault's next toons. It's tentatively titled "Dirty Fucking Slut" and you'll know more when I have it ( Read more... )

When I was in 6th grade at the Baptist-based school Mount Juliet Christian Academy (MJCA), I convinced my parents to let me have a camp out at our house. I had wanted to have a camp out event for several years, because most of us had three- and four-wheelers and there was plenty of land to ride where we lived. My parents finally consented once I ( Read more... )

When I think of country and country living, one person sticks out in my mind, Uncle Rum. Uncle Rum was as country as pig shit and his whole lifestyle was too. I mean he lived on a farm in a shack of a house ( Read more... )

To anyone who saw the sick, drunk idiot at the Chamber on Friday who passed out in his car, yeah, that be me... it's Sunday evening and my head STILL hurts ( Read more... )

**NOTE: Because more and more people are reading my journal these days, I've changed the names of the people in the stories to protect the not-so-innocent ( Read more... )

When I was at the gym last Wednesday, I noticed that they were giving free samples of something new, so I took two without thinking. The previous week they had been giving away the new Gatorade flavored water so I didn't think twice about it. It wasn't until I was at the car that I realized what it was, Nair for Men ( Read more... )

They finally fired my coworker, Sundar last week. He would have been fine if it hadn't been for the fact he a) couldn't understand English, b) was combative to other people, c) had the world's worst breath and c) was an idiot ( Read more... )

I work on the eighth and highest floor in our building. It has a gorgeous view of the river, which I like to just look down on during my breaks, and a terrace which people rarely use. There are different bird feeders and flora adorning the area, so a lot of birds frequent the area, but one of the damnedest things I’ve ever seen are the two vultures ( Read more... )

Some Muslim chick wants to sue the state of Florida because she doesn't want her face photographed for her drivers license for religious reasons. Well, I got news for that idiot, tough shit ( Read more... )

Last night I stopped at QuikTrip to get some cheap-grade petrol and a Coke...well, not really a Coke, a Pepsi, but since I'm in the South, everything is a Coke, right? It doesn't matter if you want a Mellow Yellow, Dr. Pepper, or Sunkist, it's all called a Coke down here which really makes no sense. But when I went inside the QT, it really was ( Read more... )