At Least I Remember, I Love You - Part One
Title: At Least I Remember, I Love You
Translator: Shattered Tenshi
Rating: PG
Fandom: JE
Genre: AU, Romance
Pairing: Nishikido Ryo x Kamenashi Kazuya
Warnings: BL/Shounen-ai. Unbeta-ed
At Least I Remember, I Love You
By Zhang Yu
Translated by Shattered Tenshi
Chapter One
Life...is really dull and boring. What exactly do people live for?
Looking out the window, the sky was a shade of dull grey. The male took the wine glass left on the table, and took a sip of the amber-coloured liquid, the faint sweetness spreading in his mouth. The male only knew this was a drink and that people won't die from drinking it. As for what the name of the drink was, the male had forgotten. From the moment he woke up from bed one day, he had forgotten everything. His mind was blank. When he stood in the kitchen, his hands automatically mixed himself this drink.
Swallowing the amber-coloured liquid, the male glanced at the few letters on the dining table. Through the tornado-like writing on the envelope, the male can see the name of the receiver, the name that belonged to him. If it wasn't for the letters, perhaps he would never remember his own name for the rest of his life - Nishikido Ryo.
Placing the empty glass back on the table and picking up one of the letters, he opened it and carefully read through it. Through the messy style of writing, he could only recognize a few words: arranged blind date, October 25th 3:00p.m., Hotel K.
Ryo placed down the paper and let out a breath slowly. He rubbed his forehead, but his mind was still blank. Pulling out a chair to sit on, he closed his eyes and felt a spell of dizziness. He wondered when he started to have lost his memories. It seemed like it was yesterday, or the day before, or maybe it started last week. All he knew was that his memories ran off quietly one night, only leaving a heavy body here. Why did his memories leave?
Forcing his eyelids to open, Ryo's dull eyes fell upon the calendar on the wall. Each page of thin paper was fluttering in the wind, and the magazines thrown carelessly on the floor were being flipped through by the win as well. Ryo let out a breath. He couldn't remember anything. How long he had been living here, he didn't know. Why he was here, he didn't know either. He kept on asking himself some normal questions, but at the same time, he kept on shaking his head, not being able to find an answer.
Ryo laid on the table, but felt that he who lost his memories is different from other people. Because he lost the memories he should have, he lost everything including happiness and sadness. So he felt that life was boring and there was no meaning to it.
Standing up to move his heavy body, he decided to leave the apartment. After losing his memories, Ryo had yet to step out of the apartment even half a step. Perhaps leaving can help him find those memories. Once he wore a pair of brown leather shoes, he pushed the door open and saw a body curled up in front of his apartment's door. Ryo looked at the curled up figure and tilted his head. He couldn't help it and opened his mouth. "Oi, who are you?"
The young male that was crouching by Ryo's door front slowly looked up. Using a pair of thin eyes, mixed with feelings of fear, he stared up at Ryo's face, his thin pair of lips quivering.
"Who are you?" Ryo raised an eyebrow and looked at the male. The other just kept on staring at Ryo, not saying anything and still looking scared.
The male blinked his eyes and let out a weak voice. "Kame...Kamenashi Kazuya..."
Leaving this name, the male that was called Kamenashi slowly tilted to the left. Ryo just blinked his eyes and the other had already fallen to the ground, unconscious.
Ryo looked at Kamenashi who suddenly fell down and couldn't help but furrow his eyebrows together. What should he do now?
If a person lost his memories, then his daily life would have lost a rainbow of colours as well. If a person lost his feelings, then what would his daily life lose?
Ryo sat on the chair, his elbows on the table while supporting his chin. After the day he lost his memories, Ryo felt like he lost a part of his emotions as well.
He seemed to have forgotten how to laugh, how to cry. Then he realized, every day he was only with loneliness. It was like there was only loneliness in his life, just like how Ryo's mind is only left with a bit of memories of each day. If Ryo's life was a canvas, then right now, the canvas would only grey, a hopeless grey that was very heavy and plain.
Ryo put down the glass in his hand and walked up to the couch. The male that was called Kamenashi was curling his body, nested in the couch. Ryo crouched down to look at Kamenashi's face. The thin face was covered with a sickly shade of white, under his eyes were a faint pair of eyebags. Ryo reached out a hand and brushed the head of dryish, orange-brown hair, only to see the edge of his forehead has a pale scar on it. Biting down on his lip, Ryo didn't know why when he set eyes on the scar, his heart felt like it dropped heavily.
Ryo dropped his hands. Hugging his knees, he sat on the floor and stared at Kameanashi's face. The other was still sleeping. It seemed like he had slept for nearly a day and he seemed to be sleeping quite deeply.
"What on earth was this person doing outside the apartment?"
"How long has he been curled up out there?"
"Does he know me? Would he know about my past..."
One by one, questions were raised from his heart. Ryo blinked his eyes, his empty eyes seem to have a streak of colour appear because he seemed to have seen a hope of recalling his memories. It was really amazing. All he knew was the male's name. He still didn't know who he was, but he already felt like he could find his own past.
Ryo fluttered his eyes open. Glancing at the watch on his wrist, he realized that he already slept for three hours. When he was yawning, he stopped in his movement. Opening his eyes to look at Kamenashi on the couch, he saw that the other was looking at him with open eyes as well. Ryo dropped his hand, looking at Kamenashi. Speaking in a cold voice, he said, "Why were you outside?"
Kamenashi lowered his eyes and didn't speak, just blinking his eyes and waiting for time to pass. As Ryo watched the quiet Kamenashi, he started to feel impatient. Just when he was going to speak again, Kamenashi parted his lips at the same time, asking in a soft voice, "You forgot?"
Hearing Kamenashi's words, Ryo closed his mouth. Since someone else had spoken about this, he felt like he had to admit that he lost his memories. At the same time, it confirmed that this person in front of him knew about him. Kamenashi blinked his eyes a few times, then asked slowly again , "You lost your memories, right?"
After a while, Ryo finally nodded his head, as if he just admitted that he not normal. Ryo wasn't sure if it was just him, but when he nodded, he thought he saw Kamenashi looking relieved. Kamenashi blinked his thin, long eyes at him. Ryo watched and at that moment, realized that Kamenashi's eyes were actually very beautiful. Kamenashi looked at Ryo, tilted his body and his lips curled up in a small smile. "I'm Ryo's friend!"
With a tilt of his head, Ryo observed Kamenashi. Kamenashi blinked his eyes again before saying in a soft voice that Ryo thought sounded really comfortable, "Ryo and I knew each other since we were young, but I guess Ryo forgot about me too, right?"
Ryo nodded his head, so Kamenashi continued, "I'm Kamenashi Kazuya. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu."
Ryo continued to watch Kamenashi, his face not showing any emotions. He wanted to smile and introduce himself, but found that the other know him better than he does. There wasn't a need for introduction. Kamenashi ruffled his hair, his smile growing even brighter. "Saying 'yoroshiku onegaishimasu' to an old friend, I'm really not used to it."
"We're not really old friends because I can't even remember who you are." Ryo let out that sentence very naturally. By the time Ryo grasped reality, he realized what he just said. Meeting Kamenashi's gaze, he saw that he was staring back at him blankly. Just when he was about to open his mouth to apologize, Kamenashi let out a bright laughter, the sound pleasant to his ears.
Kamenashi covered his mouth, laughing while he peered at Ryo, saying, "Ryo really is Ryo. Even without your memories, you're still so harsh with your words."
Ryo's face turned a light red. Scratching his head of messy black hair, just when he was about to say something, Kamenashi covered his mouth and started to cough heavily. Ryo asked hurriedly, "What's wrong?"
Kamenashi dropped his hand and gave the other a weak smile. Looking at Ryo, he said softly, "Nothing. I just have a sore throat."
Staring at Kamenashi's face, Ryo reached out to touch his forehead, only to find it burning hot. Ryo paused in surprise before carrying Kamenashi into his room quickly. Putting a cool and wet towel on Kamenashi's forehead, he then let Kamenashi take some medicine. After, Ryo looked at Kamenashi with a serious expression. "Why didn't you say anything if you were sick?"
Kamenashi looked at Ryo, his eyes reflecting a gentle look, and said softly, "That's because Ryo looked depressed!"
Ryo immediately closed his mouth and stared at the other. Somewhere inside his heart, a few ripples appeared. In his impression, it felt like he has heard those words before, but who told him them? Kamenashi watched Ryo become quiet and touched the towel on his forehead. Ryo on the other hand, pulled a chair towards the bedside and picked up the medicine he gave to Kamenashi earlier on. He asked quietly, "Why is there medicine in the house..."
Kamenashi looked at the box of medicine in Ryo's hand and quickly, a smile appeared on his face. "Before, we lived here together. Because I was always sick, Ryo would help me prepare some medicine in the house so I can take them when I'm sick."
"Oh?" Ryo nodded his head and placed down the medicine. Looking at Kamenashi, he asked, "Then why were Kamenashi you crouching outside and didn't come in?"
Kamenashi blinked his eyes at Ryo and said, "When I went on my trip, I lost my keys. Because Ryo said he was going to go back to his home for a bit, so I thought Ryo won't be at home."
"Idiot! Don't you know how to press the doorbell?" Ryo knocked on Kamenashi's head lightly. He really wanted to see what's in the other's mind. How could he be so simple? If there really wasn't people here, he could have went to a friend's house or an inn for a few days.
Kamenashi looked at Ryo and didn't say anything. He only smiled gently.
Notes: Um...yea, this is friends-locked. Why? I didn't get the author's permisison to translate. Yet. >.>'' I was being lazy...and um...yea.
Because...it was basically like...ugh, I'm in a lecture. Not a lot of people are online on MSN. I need to do something. Write smut? No...that's not a good idea. Write angst? No, I don't want to start crying. Translate? Ooh, let's! So um...I took this RyoKame fic...and translated like a lot of it during one lecture. Then translated more in another lecture. .___.
Why I chose this fic? First of all, I had like minimum amount of links of Chinese fan-fic sites on my laptop. Only like one site allowed right-clicking and hence I could copy and paste. And on that site, the fic that I wanted to translate the most was this RyoKame one. Because this fic makes me love RyoKame so much. Really. And well, yea...I guess RPG had play a part in this as well. >.>''
Now if only Chinese fan-fic writers would write OT3 or something. I'm deprived. Or even write better HiroSuke with Taisuke as uke so I can translate it or something. I'm so picky. I fail at writing lately.
So...I don't know how many people on my f-list would read this...but don't mind the weird English...? X3;; I'm not that great at translating. I'll unlock this once I get permission from the author. X3;;
EDIT: Wahaha. I GOT PERMISSION! After being lazy to find my tablet and ended up typing bits and pieces of my message into a translator so I have it in Chinese. //whacked//
Part Two
Translator: Shattered Tenshi
Rating: PG
Fandom: JE
Genre: AU, Romance
Pairing: Nishikido Ryo x Kamenashi Kazuya
Warnings: BL/Shounen-ai. Unbeta-ed
At Least I Remember, I Love You
By Zhang Yu
Translated by Shattered Tenshi
Chapter One
Life...is really dull and boring. What exactly do people live for?
Looking out the window, the sky was a shade of dull grey. The male took the wine glass left on the table, and took a sip of the amber-coloured liquid, the faint sweetness spreading in his mouth. The male only knew this was a drink and that people won't die from drinking it. As for what the name of the drink was, the male had forgotten. From the moment he woke up from bed one day, he had forgotten everything. His mind was blank. When he stood in the kitchen, his hands automatically mixed himself this drink.
Swallowing the amber-coloured liquid, the male glanced at the few letters on the dining table. Through the tornado-like writing on the envelope, the male can see the name of the receiver, the name that belonged to him. If it wasn't for the letters, perhaps he would never remember his own name for the rest of his life - Nishikido Ryo.
Placing the empty glass back on the table and picking up one of the letters, he opened it and carefully read through it. Through the messy style of writing, he could only recognize a few words: arranged blind date, October 25th 3:00p.m., Hotel K.
Ryo placed down the paper and let out a breath slowly. He rubbed his forehead, but his mind was still blank. Pulling out a chair to sit on, he closed his eyes and felt a spell of dizziness. He wondered when he started to have lost his memories. It seemed like it was yesterday, or the day before, or maybe it started last week. All he knew was that his memories ran off quietly one night, only leaving a heavy body here. Why did his memories leave?
Forcing his eyelids to open, Ryo's dull eyes fell upon the calendar on the wall. Each page of thin paper was fluttering in the wind, and the magazines thrown carelessly on the floor were being flipped through by the win as well. Ryo let out a breath. He couldn't remember anything. How long he had been living here, he didn't know. Why he was here, he didn't know either. He kept on asking himself some normal questions, but at the same time, he kept on shaking his head, not being able to find an answer.
Ryo laid on the table, but felt that he who lost his memories is different from other people. Because he lost the memories he should have, he lost everything including happiness and sadness. So he felt that life was boring and there was no meaning to it.
Standing up to move his heavy body, he decided to leave the apartment. After losing his memories, Ryo had yet to step out of the apartment even half a step. Perhaps leaving can help him find those memories. Once he wore a pair of brown leather shoes, he pushed the door open and saw a body curled up in front of his apartment's door. Ryo looked at the curled up figure and tilted his head. He couldn't help it and opened his mouth. "Oi, who are you?"
The young male that was crouching by Ryo's door front slowly looked up. Using a pair of thin eyes, mixed with feelings of fear, he stared up at Ryo's face, his thin pair of lips quivering.
"Who are you?" Ryo raised an eyebrow and looked at the male. The other just kept on staring at Ryo, not saying anything and still looking scared.
The male blinked his eyes and let out a weak voice. "Kame...Kamenashi Kazuya..."
Leaving this name, the male that was called Kamenashi slowly tilted to the left. Ryo just blinked his eyes and the other had already fallen to the ground, unconscious.
Ryo looked at Kamenashi who suddenly fell down and couldn't help but furrow his eyebrows together. What should he do now?
If a person lost his memories, then his daily life would have lost a rainbow of colours as well. If a person lost his feelings, then what would his daily life lose?
Ryo sat on the chair, his elbows on the table while supporting his chin. After the day he lost his memories, Ryo felt like he lost a part of his emotions as well.
He seemed to have forgotten how to laugh, how to cry. Then he realized, every day he was only with loneliness. It was like there was only loneliness in his life, just like how Ryo's mind is only left with a bit of memories of each day. If Ryo's life was a canvas, then right now, the canvas would only grey, a hopeless grey that was very heavy and plain.
Ryo put down the glass in his hand and walked up to the couch. The male that was called Kamenashi was curling his body, nested in the couch. Ryo crouched down to look at Kamenashi's face. The thin face was covered with a sickly shade of white, under his eyes were a faint pair of eyebags. Ryo reached out a hand and brushed the head of dryish, orange-brown hair, only to see the edge of his forehead has a pale scar on it. Biting down on his lip, Ryo didn't know why when he set eyes on the scar, his heart felt like it dropped heavily.
Ryo dropped his hands. Hugging his knees, he sat on the floor and stared at Kameanashi's face. The other was still sleeping. It seemed like he had slept for nearly a day and he seemed to be sleeping quite deeply.
"What on earth was this person doing outside the apartment?"
"How long has he been curled up out there?"
"Does he know me? Would he know about my past..."
One by one, questions were raised from his heart. Ryo blinked his eyes, his empty eyes seem to have a streak of colour appear because he seemed to have seen a hope of recalling his memories. It was really amazing. All he knew was the male's name. He still didn't know who he was, but he already felt like he could find his own past.
Ryo fluttered his eyes open. Glancing at the watch on his wrist, he realized that he already slept for three hours. When he was yawning, he stopped in his movement. Opening his eyes to look at Kamenashi on the couch, he saw that the other was looking at him with open eyes as well. Ryo dropped his hand, looking at Kamenashi. Speaking in a cold voice, he said, "Why were you outside?"
Kamenashi lowered his eyes and didn't speak, just blinking his eyes and waiting for time to pass. As Ryo watched the quiet Kamenashi, he started to feel impatient. Just when he was going to speak again, Kamenashi parted his lips at the same time, asking in a soft voice, "You forgot?"
Hearing Kamenashi's words, Ryo closed his mouth. Since someone else had spoken about this, he felt like he had to admit that he lost his memories. At the same time, it confirmed that this person in front of him knew about him. Kamenashi blinked his eyes a few times, then asked slowly again , "You lost your memories, right?"
After a while, Ryo finally nodded his head, as if he just admitted that he not normal. Ryo wasn't sure if it was just him, but when he nodded, he thought he saw Kamenashi looking relieved. Kamenashi blinked his thin, long eyes at him. Ryo watched and at that moment, realized that Kamenashi's eyes were actually very beautiful. Kamenashi looked at Ryo, tilted his body and his lips curled up in a small smile. "I'm Ryo's friend!"
With a tilt of his head, Ryo observed Kamenashi. Kamenashi blinked his eyes again before saying in a soft voice that Ryo thought sounded really comfortable, "Ryo and I knew each other since we were young, but I guess Ryo forgot about me too, right?"
Ryo nodded his head, so Kamenashi continued, "I'm Kamenashi Kazuya. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu."
Ryo continued to watch Kamenashi, his face not showing any emotions. He wanted to smile and introduce himself, but found that the other know him better than he does. There wasn't a need for introduction. Kamenashi ruffled his hair, his smile growing even brighter. "Saying 'yoroshiku onegaishimasu' to an old friend, I'm really not used to it."
"We're not really old friends because I can't even remember who you are." Ryo let out that sentence very naturally. By the time Ryo grasped reality, he realized what he just said. Meeting Kamenashi's gaze, he saw that he was staring back at him blankly. Just when he was about to open his mouth to apologize, Kamenashi let out a bright laughter, the sound pleasant to his ears.
Kamenashi covered his mouth, laughing while he peered at Ryo, saying, "Ryo really is Ryo. Even without your memories, you're still so harsh with your words."
Ryo's face turned a light red. Scratching his head of messy black hair, just when he was about to say something, Kamenashi covered his mouth and started to cough heavily. Ryo asked hurriedly, "What's wrong?"
Kamenashi dropped his hand and gave the other a weak smile. Looking at Ryo, he said softly, "Nothing. I just have a sore throat."
Staring at Kamenashi's face, Ryo reached out to touch his forehead, only to find it burning hot. Ryo paused in surprise before carrying Kamenashi into his room quickly. Putting a cool and wet towel on Kamenashi's forehead, he then let Kamenashi take some medicine. After, Ryo looked at Kamenashi with a serious expression. "Why didn't you say anything if you were sick?"
Kamenashi looked at Ryo, his eyes reflecting a gentle look, and said softly, "That's because Ryo looked depressed!"
Ryo immediately closed his mouth and stared at the other. Somewhere inside his heart, a few ripples appeared. In his impression, it felt like he has heard those words before, but who told him them? Kamenashi watched Ryo become quiet and touched the towel on his forehead. Ryo on the other hand, pulled a chair towards the bedside and picked up the medicine he gave to Kamenashi earlier on. He asked quietly, "Why is there medicine in the house..."
Kamenashi looked at the box of medicine in Ryo's hand and quickly, a smile appeared on his face. "Before, we lived here together. Because I was always sick, Ryo would help me prepare some medicine in the house so I can take them when I'm sick."
"Oh?" Ryo nodded his head and placed down the medicine. Looking at Kamenashi, he asked, "Then why were Kamenashi you crouching outside and didn't come in?"
Kamenashi blinked his eyes at Ryo and said, "When I went on my trip, I lost my keys. Because Ryo said he was going to go back to his home for a bit, so I thought Ryo won't be at home."
"Idiot! Don't you know how to press the doorbell?" Ryo knocked on Kamenashi's head lightly. He really wanted to see what's in the other's mind. How could he be so simple? If there really wasn't people here, he could have went to a friend's house or an inn for a few days.
Kamenashi looked at Ryo and didn't say anything. He only smiled gently.
Notes: Um...yea, this is friends-locked. Why? I didn't get the author's permisison to translate. Yet. >.>'' I was being lazy...and um...yea.
Because...it was basically like...ugh, I'm in a lecture. Not a lot of people are online on MSN. I need to do something. Write smut? No...that's not a good idea. Write angst? No, I don't want to start crying. Translate? Ooh, let's! So um...I took this RyoKame fic...and translated like a lot of it during one lecture. Then translated more in another lecture. .___.
Why I chose this fic? First of all, I had like minimum amount of links of Chinese fan-fic sites on my laptop. Only like one site allowed right-clicking and hence I could copy and paste. And on that site, the fic that I wanted to translate the most was this RyoKame one. Because this fic makes me love RyoKame so much. Really. And well, yea...I guess RPG had play a part in this as well. >.>''
Now if only Chinese fan-fic writers would write OT3 or something. I'm deprived. Or even write better HiroSuke with Taisuke as uke so I can translate it or something. I'm so picky. I fail at writing lately.
So...I don't know how many people on my f-list would read this...but don't mind the weird English...? X3;; I'm not that great at translating. I'll unlock this once I get permission from the author. X3;;
EDIT: Wahaha. I GOT PERMISSION! After being lazy to find my tablet and ended up typing bits and pieces of my message into a translator so I have it in Chinese. //whacked//
Part Two