Depression is a funny thing to me. It isn't like a typical physical illness. You don't show signs of it all the time regardless of atmosphere. I notice that when I surround myself with people, I suddenly perfectly fine. When I'm around people, I feel like I have so much to offer the world if I'd only apply myself. When I'm alone, however, I feel as ( Read more... )

Ok, for starters, I don't honestly know why this bothers me. I shouldn't really care whatsoever, but for some reason, it gets under my skin. Here is some back story for all who don't know. I had a friend that I was really close with. She would have trouble with things, and I would talk to her. I was probably her third best friend as far as people ( Read more... )

Hmm... I just listened to the song "Realize" by Colbie Caillat. I didn't think much of it when the song came on, but after a while of hearing it, I got a sudden surge of long buried feelings. Back when I worked at Circuit City, there was a Verizon booth inside the store. I was buddies with all of the people there, and the manager told me he had a ( Read more... )

He really was a great guy. A lot of people who didn't know him would say he was indescribably happy all the time. He could keep a smile in the roughest of situations. He always seemed to be on that one cup of coffee that was too much. Those who knew him well, on the other hand, would say that he was constantly at unease. He spent so much of his ( Read more... )

Hmmm so yesterday was my birthday. I didn't make any extravagant plans, so I had no real expectations. I was hoping to be able to spend some time with somebody, but she lives too far out of town for that to be practical. Aside from that, she feels like another one of my one sided interests. Back to the birthday. I've been keeping weird hours, so we ( Read more... )

OK. I was planning on sleeping because I am exhausted from my interesting weekend, but I am having trouble with the old shut-eye. I figure I would instead yammer on about my weekend and maybe have a lighthearted journal entry for once! Yay! Where to start… How does the beginning sound? Yes. Good idea. We'll start there. My friend Jade, whom I've ( Read more... )

Time for another episode in the life of falling for someone taken. It really seems that I can't seem to ever be interested in anyone that is single. I'm going to take the optimistic assumption and say that all the awesome people are taken because they are awesome. This new development is strange. She's been someone that I've known in a third party ( Read more... )

Ennui

Recently, while visiting with a friend, I discovered a word that perfectly suits my life right now. I tried describing it to her and suddenly she spurts out some strange french bit that completely missed my ears. After a little clarification I have decided to label my current life as "ennui". Living every day by the minute. No plans. No goals ( Read more... )