Oblivious

[shay_writes]

Trigger warning: contains sexual abuse

Everyone, at some point in their life, faces an ugly truth. Secrets are revealed through self-examination.
Maturity brings a better understanding of the facts. My moment of reckoning happened when I was in my late thirties.

I was sexually molested as a child.

Comments

[surpanakhalives]

I cannot bring myself to talk to my family about the abuse even today -- even though it wasn't family. Definitely not normal, and I'm glad you could come to terms with it.

[shay_writes]

*hugs*

Thank you for reading!

It is hard to talk about. I haven't talked to my mother about it. My dad asked me not to. He was afraid it would upset her.

[kagomeshuko]

Wow, that's sad. It seems many people dont' realize what is abuse or messed up in their household until they are adults. I grew up in an alcoholic household and I had no idea until I was an adult.

Hope you like my entry:

http://kagomeshuko.livejournal.com/1518316.html?view=1662188#t1662188

[shay_writes]

It was just a part of who he was and as far as I know, everyone compensated for it and didn't talk about it.

*hugs*

Thanks for reading!

[miintikwa]

I wrote fiction to get the memory of my abuse out of my head. It helped a little. I understand.

[shay_writes]

*hugs*

Abuse is awful. I've made peace with what happened to me. It was a long time ago and my grandfather is dead. I think I just want to know why I never told anyone.

[crazypuce]

Wow that is just terrible.
It's good that you realized it now and are able to protect your child.

[shay_writes]

Thank you!

What bugs me is why didn't I tell and who else was abused. I know it is past and over, but it still bothers me.

[crazypuce]

I know that probably won't help, but here is my two cents.
You weren't the only one abused and the others didn't tell either. You didn't abuse anyone, you were only a scared child. There are a lot of abused children who do tell and are never believed.
Don't blame yourself for someone else abusing you (and others). He doesn't worth your time and thoughts. Be proud of who you became now.

[shay_writes]

Thank you! This is the first time I've talked about it publicly. (I have in locked posts in the past) It sucks that 30 to 40 years later I'm afraid of upsetting family members.

*hugs*

[baxaphobia]

I'm sorry this happened to you. no one should have to endure such unspeakable things from those who supposedly love us.

[shay_writes]

Thanks Bax!

*great big hugs*