I get a call at 1130 that my friend's cousin's friend ('s dog's mother's owner's husband) is freaking out because she took some methadone. Fucking gay, girl, why the fuck are you taking someone's methadone? Now I'm getting questioned while I'm watching my eloquent sexy comedy shows with a nice glass of wine asking if she's going to be okay. Ted ( Read more... )

you are not coming
to the sarcasm party,
it is about you.

 Let's be honest.

What do you like to do?

Watch Louie
Eating
Thinking about eating
Preparing things to eat
Sitting comatose after eating 
Pooping in my roommate's bathroom
Looking at my cat
Watering plants
Sleeping
Cutting small pieces of paper and arranging the pieces and gluing them like a 4 year old child
Not showering
Drinking water
Drinking coffee
Sitting
Not ( Read more... )

 Let me just say, every once and awhile my "former" self protrudes into my present life and begs what the fuck do you think you're doing? Where is your child-like wonder, where is the imagination and the sky is the limit and not settling for less?

Have I settled, am I GROWING UP or has my most important philosophy on life taken over entirely? The ( Read more... )

 Right now.

Marianna's school is shutting down, she's losing her job. The odds of her finding a job in the LA area are pretty slim, which means I won't have a place to live. 
Michael and I are super close right now and he'd be happy to move into my apartment with me. But I don't want to live with him until we're married. A lot of people don't ( Read more... )

 Dude, I was in a crazy ass mother fucking car accident and I'm ALIVE!!!! I'M ALIVE!

YEAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

I feel like laughing at death right now, it's a real bad idea but I never could have known what this feeling was like! I just want to open up my mouth and let out the biggest laugh, fuck you!

Right before the crash Michael and I were having a great ( Read more... )

I walked from work to the grocery store, and then home. I thought about what being independent means to me. I didn't know. But I thought that a start would be not to call someone on my way home to talk about my day. I thought I should be more productive.

I thought about how I do feel passionate about some things. That this society and position that ( Read more... )

At the Fair ( Read more... )

The day from hell. From hell.

Realizing that you are really working for nothing. $11 an hour for 40+ hours a week.
Managing a crew of incompetent lazies, making up compound recipes with little to no help
Working your ass off for respect to realize you're being taken advantage of
Realizing that a vacation is exactly what you need, and exactly what you ( Read more... )

her soul is a whirlwind of fiery inferno, her nose is wet with mucous and hatred. no longer does she accept mouth kisses, but instead; face rips.