Fic: The Crossroads Conundrum, Part 11
Title: The Crossroads Conundrum
Part 11: Missy, Howard, and Raj
Author: she_burns1
Pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Penny, Missy/Raj
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,035
Warning: Butchered Barry speak. Seriously. I tried.
Summary: Future!fic! Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard all thought they knew exactly what they wanted, but with a big change on the way, all three begin to question themselves, and each of them is lead in a direction they had not anticipated.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is all mine. No copyright infringement is intended
Author's Note: A short but sweet part to tide you over! :)
Back to: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles
“So what’s this guy’s deal again?”
“What? You mean Barwy?” Howard said and Raj chuckled silently into his hands.
“Yeah, what’s with the voice?”
“That’s how he talks,” Howard explained.
Missy raised an eyebrow, “Like Elmer Fudd?”
“The very same,” Howard said cheerily as they walked up to the CalTech building, “I’m sure he’s here. Barry’s almost as much of a social outcast as Sheldon is. The difference being he alienates people by being nothing short of a complete ass.”
Raj whispered in Howard’s ear and Howard smiled, “Yeah, okay, maybe not that much of a difference, really.”
Howard shrugged, “Honestly, it’s kind of surprising considering their similarities that Sheldon and Barry aren’t the best of friends. But then, Barry took a liking to playing pranks on Sheldon.”
“So, they’re rivals?”
“Close enough.”
“I don’t understand, why would Shelly ask this man for help then?”
“He probably didn’t, but, you know, Penny did say junior rodeo style,” Howard opened the door and waved inside, giving Missy his best Casanova leer, “This way, milady.”
“Mm, no, how about you go ahead,” Missy said, her eyes on Raj, “I wanna talk to your friend a minute.”
Howard scowled jealously, about to argue, but the look Missy shot him was more than enough for him to hold up his hands in surrender. He entered the building and went straight to Kripke’s office.
Kripke answered the door, frowning, “Haven’t seen him.”
Howard raised an eyebrow, “And ‘hello’ to you too, Barry. Funny, I didn’t have a chance yet to even ask if you had seen anyone.”
“Well,” This word came out in such a way that Howard almost couldn’t help but laugh a little, “Wegardwess, I haven’t seen him.”
“Come on, Barry, if you know where Sheldon is, please just tell me. We need to find him.”
“Wow, Howard, bit Bwokeback fo’ you. I thought that’s what Waj was fo’.”
Howard gave him a death glare, “Leonard’s wedding is coming up and Sheldon is the best man. We need him for the ceremony.”
“No, you need the bwide and gwoom, which you have, so what does it matter if Cooper is gone? Besides, with him gone I imagine you can be the best man, now. Better fo’ you, isn’t it?”
Howard rolled his head about his shoulders, “True.”
“So buzz owf,” Kripke said firmly, “Go find some stwippews. Take your mind owf things. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get my work done. I’m gonna go meet some fewwo colleagues and go pway some hackey sack.”
Missy and Raj came around the corner and Kripke open the door wider, whistling, “Hewwo, beautiful.”
Missy bit her lip, stifling giggles, “Wow, he really does talk like Elmer!”
“Elmer who? He your boyfwiend?”
“No, no.”
“What’s your name?”
“Missy.”
“Ah, nice, nice, much better than Weonard’s futuwe wife’s name.”
Missy frowned, “Excuse me?”
“Penny,” Howard explained, “He doesn’t like the name, said it wasn’t hot, wanted to call her ‘Roxanne.”
She raised an eyebrow, drawing out the next word, “Really.”
Howard winked, “Like I said then, makes me look better and better, doesn’t it?”
Missy let out a little huff, rolling her eyes as she pegged Barry with a cold stare, “Look, have you seen my brother or not?”
“Whoa, whoa, Sheldon is your bwother?” Barry looked her up and down, “Inconceivable. That appwe musta feww way owf the twee.”
“Okay, you know what? The voice was cute at first, but now it’s just annoying, what the heck did he just say?”
Howard was about to oblige again, “He said-”
“I said you’re hot and you’re bwother’s not,” Barry offered silkily, “Now, I may or may not have seen your browther, but if you want that infowmation, it’s gonna cost you.”
“Oh really?” Missy asked, arms crossed, face a steely mask.
Barry either didn’t see, or didn’t care, as he continued to push his luck. He rubbed the back of his fingers along his shirt and blew on them, trying to make the act casual as he said, “Yeah, so, what do you say, Xena, you in?”
“Xena?” Missy repeated, nostrils flaring.
“Yeah, you’re taww, gorgeous, and, taww, maybe a bit too taww but you can always kneel down, if you know what I mean. I’m about to get off work, so how about you and me go pway some hacky sack and-”
“Okay, that’s it; I don’t have time for this.” Missy snarled as she grabbed Barry roughly by the collar of his shirt and dragged him deeper into his office. The very high shriek Barry released was enough to make Raj recoil, but Howard just look excited as he whooped, “Oh, it’s on! Junior rodeo time! IT. IS. ON!”
Fifteen minutes later, Missy, Raj and Howard stood outside with a small group of CalTech employees, students, and emergency personnel as the ambulance finished loading Kripke into the back.
Missy rubbed her hands together, “Okay! So! Now we’re getting somewhere! Barry drove Sheldon to the train station!”
“Yeah, but, you know, I never thought I’d feel sympathetic towards Barry Kripke but, jeez,” Howard tugged at the collar of his own shirt as he watched the ambulance drive off, “You play a mean game of hacky sack.”
Missy flexed her fingers, giving him an evil smile, “Oh yeah, my brother and Barry both have learned that the hard way. Would you-?”
“No! No! No!” Howard squealed, his hands protectively covering the spot between his legs.
“Hmm, thought not,” Missy purred as she turned to Raj, voice tender, “Promise I’ll never handle you that way, my little caramel cutie pie.”
Howard sighed, rolling his eyes, “So…train station?”
Missy nodded, “Yeah, we can show some of the people working there his picture, maybe try to narrow down where he went. And when we find him, I can even give him the fifty he paid Kripke to drive him there,” Missy now rubbed the back of her fingers along her shirt and blew on them, “What can I say? I’m good.”
“I’ll say.” Raj said, smirking.
Howard’s jaw dropped open. He looked at Raj, then at Missy, then at Raj again, “Raj! Man! You-you spoke!”
Raj nodded.
“In-in front of a woman!”
Raj nodded again.
Howard pointed at Missy, “In front of that woman!”
Raj looked at Missy and let out a dreamy breath as he nodded. Missy giggled and nudged him a little, “Isn’t he the sweetest thing?”
Howard was still flabbergasted.
Missy cleared her throat, “Raj, honey, could you get me a drink before we hit the road?”
Raj nodded and walked off, leaving a still thunderstruck Howard with Missy, who looked like the cat who ate the canary as she said simply to his unasked question, “No, he hasn’t had a drop of alcohol.”
“But..but….how?”
“Oh, it was me,” she said, her voice full and sultry, “Just lil’ ol’ me. Told you I’m good. Real good.”
“What…what did you….do to him?”
Missy smirked and winked at him, “Things you can only dream about.”
Howard wondered if it wasn’t too late for the ambulance to turn around and pick him up, as he was quite sure he was minutes from cardiac arrest.
Part 11: Missy, Howard, and Raj
Author: she_burns1
Pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Penny, Missy/Raj
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,035
Warning: Butchered Barry speak. Seriously. I tried.
Summary: Future!fic! Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard all thought they knew exactly what they wanted, but with a big change on the way, all three begin to question themselves, and each of them is lead in a direction they had not anticipated.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is all mine. No copyright infringement is intended
Author's Note: A short but sweet part to tide you over! :)
Back to: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles
“So what’s this guy’s deal again?”
“What? You mean Barwy?” Howard said and Raj chuckled silently into his hands.
“Yeah, what’s with the voice?”
“That’s how he talks,” Howard explained.
Missy raised an eyebrow, “Like Elmer Fudd?”
“The very same,” Howard said cheerily as they walked up to the CalTech building, “I’m sure he’s here. Barry’s almost as much of a social outcast as Sheldon is. The difference being he alienates people by being nothing short of a complete ass.”
Raj whispered in Howard’s ear and Howard smiled, “Yeah, okay, maybe not that much of a difference, really.”
Howard shrugged, “Honestly, it’s kind of surprising considering their similarities that Sheldon and Barry aren’t the best of friends. But then, Barry took a liking to playing pranks on Sheldon.”
“So, they’re rivals?”
“Close enough.”
“I don’t understand, why would Shelly ask this man for help then?”
“He probably didn’t, but, you know, Penny did say junior rodeo style,” Howard opened the door and waved inside, giving Missy his best Casanova leer, “This way, milady.”
“Mm, no, how about you go ahead,” Missy said, her eyes on Raj, “I wanna talk to your friend a minute.”
Howard scowled jealously, about to argue, but the look Missy shot him was more than enough for him to hold up his hands in surrender. He entered the building and went straight to Kripke’s office.
Kripke answered the door, frowning, “Haven’t seen him.”
Howard raised an eyebrow, “And ‘hello’ to you too, Barry. Funny, I didn’t have a chance yet to even ask if you had seen anyone.”
“Well,” This word came out in such a way that Howard almost couldn’t help but laugh a little, “Wegardwess, I haven’t seen him.”
“Come on, Barry, if you know where Sheldon is, please just tell me. We need to find him.”
“Wow, Howard, bit Bwokeback fo’ you. I thought that’s what Waj was fo’.”
Howard gave him a death glare, “Leonard’s wedding is coming up and Sheldon is the best man. We need him for the ceremony.”
“No, you need the bwide and gwoom, which you have, so what does it matter if Cooper is gone? Besides, with him gone I imagine you can be the best man, now. Better fo’ you, isn’t it?”
Howard rolled his head about his shoulders, “True.”
“So buzz owf,” Kripke said firmly, “Go find some stwippews. Take your mind owf things. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get my work done. I’m gonna go meet some fewwo colleagues and go pway some hackey sack.”
Missy and Raj came around the corner and Kripke open the door wider, whistling, “Hewwo, beautiful.”
Missy bit her lip, stifling giggles, “Wow, he really does talk like Elmer!”
“Elmer who? He your boyfwiend?”
“No, no.”
“What’s your name?”
“Missy.”
“Ah, nice, nice, much better than Weonard’s futuwe wife’s name.”
Missy frowned, “Excuse me?”
“Penny,” Howard explained, “He doesn’t like the name, said it wasn’t hot, wanted to call her ‘Roxanne.”
She raised an eyebrow, drawing out the next word, “Really.”
Howard winked, “Like I said then, makes me look better and better, doesn’t it?”
Missy let out a little huff, rolling her eyes as she pegged Barry with a cold stare, “Look, have you seen my brother or not?”
“Whoa, whoa, Sheldon is your bwother?” Barry looked her up and down, “Inconceivable. That appwe musta feww way owf the twee.”
“Okay, you know what? The voice was cute at first, but now it’s just annoying, what the heck did he just say?”
Howard was about to oblige again, “He said-”
“I said you’re hot and you’re bwother’s not,” Barry offered silkily, “Now, I may or may not have seen your browther, but if you want that infowmation, it’s gonna cost you.”
“Oh really?” Missy asked, arms crossed, face a steely mask.
Barry either didn’t see, or didn’t care, as he continued to push his luck. He rubbed the back of his fingers along his shirt and blew on them, trying to make the act casual as he said, “Yeah, so, what do you say, Xena, you in?”
“Xena?” Missy repeated, nostrils flaring.
“Yeah, you’re taww, gorgeous, and, taww, maybe a bit too taww but you can always kneel down, if you know what I mean. I’m about to get off work, so how about you and me go pway some hacky sack and-”
“Okay, that’s it; I don’t have time for this.” Missy snarled as she grabbed Barry roughly by the collar of his shirt and dragged him deeper into his office. The very high shriek Barry released was enough to make Raj recoil, but Howard just look excited as he whooped, “Oh, it’s on! Junior rodeo time! IT. IS. ON!”
Fifteen minutes later, Missy, Raj and Howard stood outside with a small group of CalTech employees, students, and emergency personnel as the ambulance finished loading Kripke into the back.
Missy rubbed her hands together, “Okay! So! Now we’re getting somewhere! Barry drove Sheldon to the train station!”
“Yeah, but, you know, I never thought I’d feel sympathetic towards Barry Kripke but, jeez,” Howard tugged at the collar of his own shirt as he watched the ambulance drive off, “You play a mean game of hacky sack.”
Missy flexed her fingers, giving him an evil smile, “Oh yeah, my brother and Barry both have learned that the hard way. Would you-?”
“No! No! No!” Howard squealed, his hands protectively covering the spot between his legs.
“Hmm, thought not,” Missy purred as she turned to Raj, voice tender, “Promise I’ll never handle you that way, my little caramel cutie pie.”
Howard sighed, rolling his eyes, “So…train station?”
Missy nodded, “Yeah, we can show some of the people working there his picture, maybe try to narrow down where he went. And when we find him, I can even give him the fifty he paid Kripke to drive him there,” Missy now rubbed the back of her fingers along her shirt and blew on them, “What can I say? I’m good.”
“I’ll say.” Raj said, smirking.
Howard’s jaw dropped open. He looked at Raj, then at Missy, then at Raj again, “Raj! Man! You-you spoke!”
Raj nodded.
“In-in front of a woman!”
Raj nodded again.
Howard pointed at Missy, “In front of that woman!”
Raj looked at Missy and let out a dreamy breath as he nodded. Missy giggled and nudged him a little, “Isn’t he the sweetest thing?”
Howard was still flabbergasted.
Missy cleared her throat, “Raj, honey, could you get me a drink before we hit the road?”
Raj nodded and walked off, leaving a still thunderstruck Howard with Missy, who looked like the cat who ate the canary as she said simply to his unasked question, “No, he hasn’t had a drop of alcohol.”
“But..but….how?”
“Oh, it was me,” she said, her voice full and sultry, “Just lil’ ol’ me. Told you I’m good. Real good.”
“What…what did you….do to him?”
Missy smirked and winked at him, “Things you can only dream about.”
Howard wondered if it wasn’t too late for the ambulance to turn around and pick him up, as he was quite sure he was minutes from cardiac arrest.