I think out of every point in my life, every phase....this was the one I should have been documenting in great detail because I've never been in this kind of emotional state for such a prolonged period of time ( Read more... )

It's time. How much longer can this go on?

I've become emotionally withdrawn. Possibly the only thing in which I can't hide the physical consequences of. I can't be all touchy and kissy and whatever. A huge sign in and of itself that means I need to end this. It isn't fair.

I just want to BE.

I'm not sure why I'm awake right now...what the reason is.
But it feels an awful lot like the way it did back when I was either in the midst of beginning a new relationship, or having one end.

...Is this both?

Is this the beginning of a movie ( Read more... )

You know what would be super? A button that could make it allllllll just go away.

My emotions are coming in waves again. I wish it would just fucking stop and let me be fucking happy for more than a few days at a time!

According to psychology, when we know something is about it end or we are about to loose something, we want it more.

Yup.

Alright, so at first I really hated working evening shifts because I felt like I didn't know what I was doing (I'm used to only scrubbing). When it comes to circulating, I'm not very good at it because I have never really been trainned for it. All I have to go off of is what I've seen WHILE scrubbed in. Also, evenings are rather slow which makes ( Read more... )

I would love for things not to be absolute shit. I honestly don't even know where the hell to start ( Read more... )

As of tomorrow I am permanent full-time at work, w00t!!!!!

Things are going puuurdy good. I was filming a video for Youtube today and realized I'm kind of in love with bright makeup now. So I think I'm going to switch to brighter colours for a while since I've been wearing the same dark eyeshadow for quite some time now. Quite.

Romantic life has ( Read more... )

I say it every time....months go by without a single post, then when I actually get around to it I say, "From now on I'm going to make more of an effort to update even if the update is super short ( Read more... )

Yup! It's definitely fair to assume I'm at work with nothing to do since I'm actually updating my journal ( Read more... )