Sigh. My "public" blog has died and wasn't slayed by my own hand for once - or twice. I'm exhausted. Today was exhausting, emotionally life-sucking like having ten gigantic straws stuck on the end of each of my toes. I'm sleep.

people who can turn themselves into works of art. it must take a monstrous amount of discipline and also vanity. but the impulse go beyond the human is mesmerising..

I know boredom is luxury and that I have to preface everything I write with a crippling self-knowledge that everything I think and do is selfish. This is not new and the setting has never been more perfect for possibilities. All I need to do is fight against ennui and this might start with something as simple as reading. There is a reason I spent 5 ( Read more... )

I'd love to make more time to write without shame or pressure. Today I started with joyful music, then a small spat, then lovely tea-drinking, then a sunny walk with everything well again. After lying on a couch for an hour, after drawing out a delicious continental lunch with cheese and fruit from the market that is literally next door, and ( Read more... )

hello dreamy life and bright rooms and warm weather and cheese markets and lovely walks - how you doing today?

...and when I disappear abruptly, this is because i am no longer alone. and nothing kills a muse more than company. women seem like such boring muses in retrospect. now that this is the second night i have wifi, i can write more frequently. all i need is to sit in front of the screen and i can begin expressing...anything with a kind of certainty ( Read more... )

So this is the first evening with wifi in my new flat and I'm having a jolly time tangled out on the sofa surround by a grotesque amount of cushions, waiting, strangely enough, for another sofa to arrive. I have a great deal to write about living in the luminescent froth of the Big City -- how sirens and shiny bus squeaks and furious, hobbling ( Read more... )

Guardian front page spewing misery. La la la la la la la la la la fingersinears la la la la la. Isn't odd that the majority of politicians in charge of the 'economy' haven't been trained in economics? Heart flutters with violence. what does it mean to have £70bn in debt interest? all the cool kids are in it, no? what i hate about it, i guess, is ( Read more... )

80% of people's conversations seem to be about self-justification. I find it horrific. Perhaps it's because it's so much more obvious than it used to be. I have decided X and therefore I must vainly fight tooth and nail in a delusional fantastical world that X is what I always wanted, 110% right, aren't-I-so-amazing-because-of-it. I can't deal with ( Read more... )

Morning x 2: woke up and hit the road running -- literally, through fields and suburban streets -- keeping pace with rolling rhythms ( Read more... )