In which it is discovered that I am a Mutant.
So about eleven months ago, I was in the process of attempting to walk upright when suddenly I fell down. (Yes, again.) This time it was while attempting to descend the widest, shallowest steps in the history of stairs. Also, there were only two steps. But apparently that was two too many for me.
Unsurprisingly, I twisted my foot a bit and popped up with a limp. Somewhat more surprisingly, I still had the limp a couple of weeks later. I made an appointment with my doctor, who poked around and then sent me off to another doctor, who poked around some more (ow) and then took some x-rays.
And that was when he informed me that I am an Official Freak of Nature™. Apparently, I had an extra bone in my foot, which the doctor solemnly assured me was "a fairly common mutation." He claims to have six Mutant Extra Bones himself. Six! Personally, I think that's just overkill.
The cause of my limp was an inflamed tendon that I had managed to enrage in the course of my tumble. The reason it wasn't getting better was the Bonus Bone: now that the tendon was inflamed, the bone and the tendon were touching, and the tendon was rubbing against the bone with every step, thus keeping the inflamation going.
The doctor had me try waiting a few months, keeping off my foot as much as possible, to see whether it would eventually heal on its own. (Six months was not an unreasonable amount of time for such an injury to take to heal, he told me.) Alas, no dice. After trying a few other things- large doses of ibuprofen, icing, physical therapy, bedrest, a brace- it became apparent that the bone had to go.
I have to admit that I was a little disappointed. After all, I had my very own bona fide* Mutation, and so it stood to reason that I must also have some sort of Mutant Superpower. Would I lose my superpower if the bone was removed? What was my superpower, anyway? Could it be the Ability to Attract Scrub Jays? Because I would be very sad to lose that particular ability. Jays are nifty.
I had some hopes of keeping the bone and making myself a Mutant Power Necklace, but unfortunately the doctor insisted on sending it off for tests. Tragically, the bone is apparently going to be destroyed in the course of said tests. Augh. (I am tempted to take a page from The Teeny Tiny Woman and lurk about his house wailing "Give me back my boooooooone!")
So now my Mutant Extra Bone is gone, and I am convalescing at the Old Homestead. But I have permission to shuffle around the house with my walker, which means that I am not as bereft of internet access as I had feared. Hooray! So things are not as bad as they could have been. All the same, if I get home to find that all my scrub jays have deserted me, I am going to be a very unhappy camper indeed.
*Pun? What pun?
Unsurprisingly, I twisted my foot a bit and popped up with a limp. Somewhat more surprisingly, I still had the limp a couple of weeks later. I made an appointment with my doctor, who poked around and then sent me off to another doctor, who poked around some more (ow) and then took some x-rays.
And that was when he informed me that I am an Official Freak of Nature™. Apparently, I had an extra bone in my foot, which the doctor solemnly assured me was "a fairly common mutation." He claims to have six Mutant Extra Bones himself. Six! Personally, I think that's just overkill.
The cause of my limp was an inflamed tendon that I had managed to enrage in the course of my tumble. The reason it wasn't getting better was the Bonus Bone: now that the tendon was inflamed, the bone and the tendon were touching, and the tendon was rubbing against the bone with every step, thus keeping the inflamation going.
The doctor had me try waiting a few months, keeping off my foot as much as possible, to see whether it would eventually heal on its own. (Six months was not an unreasonable amount of time for such an injury to take to heal, he told me.) Alas, no dice. After trying a few other things- large doses of ibuprofen, icing, physical therapy, bedrest, a brace- it became apparent that the bone had to go.
I have to admit that I was a little disappointed. After all, I had my very own bona fide* Mutation, and so it stood to reason that I must also have some sort of Mutant Superpower. Would I lose my superpower if the bone was removed? What was my superpower, anyway? Could it be the Ability to Attract Scrub Jays? Because I would be very sad to lose that particular ability. Jays are nifty.
I had some hopes of keeping the bone and making myself a Mutant Power Necklace, but unfortunately the doctor insisted on sending it off for tests. Tragically, the bone is apparently going to be destroyed in the course of said tests. Augh. (I am tempted to take a page from The Teeny Tiny Woman and lurk about his house wailing "Give me back my boooooooone!")
So now my Mutant Extra Bone is gone, and I am convalescing at the Old Homestead. But I have permission to shuffle around the house with my walker, which means that I am not as bereft of internet access as I had feared. Hooray! So things are not as bad as they could have been. All the same, if I get home to find that all my scrub jays have deserted me, I am going to be a very unhappy camper indeed.
*Pun? What pun?