one last note on the last entry.  I talk a lot, because the silence is too much to bear.

I dreamed about Micah the other night.  It was enlightening.  It was stemmed from talk of Kayla and Nathanael moving in with me.  Basically the point of the dream was this.  I walked away from him, I turned him away and smiled knowing maybe that after ,what a year and a half. I have regained my independence, I have reclaimed my life.  I have ( Read more... )

That dream really screwed me up.  I can't understand why I can't stop thinking about him.  I really don't like it.  You'd think after all these months I'd stop thinking about him.  It's like impossible.  I know if i stop, it will happen, thats the way it's always been.  Oh well ( Read more... )

I'm tired, and confused.  I hate feeling like this.  I hate being dissatisfied.  I don't know what my next step is and everyone is always talking about their next step.  I need structure and familiarity.  Simplicity is what I really want.  I'm tired of my life always having complications.  I ended a six year grudge awhile back, but yet I still feel ( Read more... )

I want my summer to start already.  I've been so busy lately and I've spent so much money on gas and I've barely been in evansville.  I hate it.  Memorial Day weekend sucked but it amused me.  I didn't get yelled at once by a customer until monday when i worked during the day and I promptly called my boss to tell him and he agreed I did the right ( Read more... )

Today was a good day I must say.  Yeah my fishing pole fell apart in the lake, but thats what happens when you're trying to cast you line all the way to the dam valve.  I almost got there too if the damn pole wouldn't have fell apart.  I was only a foot away.  It was the funniest thing that has happened for awhile.  Work is dragging me down.  There ( Read more... )