I feel slightly better today. Slightly calmer, slightly more. I like the way that, even as numb as I was, he could make me smile. Moreso, I like the fact that I can make him smile when I’m like that. Because, really, isn’t that what it’s all about ( Read more... )

So the number has reduced. It's now twenty. And I know how fast that's going to go. Too fast. I mean, I have fourteen days left of work, and that's it. I never have to see Sam again ( Read more... )

This is not good. Not good for Sherpa.
But, there was a part of it that was positive. I came close to telling someone. I took my anger out on someone. I was crying.
I'm starting to have emotion. That could be a really bad thing, but I think it's good. I hope it is. I think it's just gonna get intensely worse and then *piff*, it'll all go away.

So there are two or three random girls behind me, looking up lyrics online and singing. Without the music to back them up. Damn, they're bad. Everything from 50 Cent to Avril Levigne. It's not pretty. And, of course, they're only singing the high, loud, screechy parts of chick songs. Shotgun, anyone? Only need three bullets. Maybe five, cos I'm ( Read more... )

When I got home last night, I got in the shower. Hotter than I could bear and sat down until the water finally began to taste like salt. And after a while I turned the water off and just sat there, alternating between crying and staring at nothing.

PS. Luce, there'll be a private entry after this. You can read it; you know the pass.

I hate sleeping. Really really hate it. Sometimes it's the most comforting thing in the world, like about a week ago where I just felt weird for some reason. And I had a dream about a friend from ages ago. I woke up and felt better. Ended up feeling weird again, but eh. It was still nice to talk to the guy, even if it was all in my mind ( Read more... )

I slept for sixteen hours on Sunday. It was nice, way nice. Catching up on sleep is a goodgood feeling. All my muscles ached in all the places they usually do after lying down for so long, so I had a hot shower. Bliss ( Read more... )

I want to journal entry, really I do. I have much to say. Good and bad. But the baddest of the bad is nowhere near bad enough to overshadow the goodest of the good, or even the smallest of the good, so that is enough for me ( Read more... )

I got to talk to him last night. Sometimes, it stuns me how much he rocks. Like, Thursday. I was walking home after work, having an indepth conversation with him in my head like I'm prone to do, and I was talking through the trust issue. Do I or don't I? And less than an hour later, he messaged me: I love you..I wish more than anything I never ( Read more... )

I alternated between crying and sleeping on the way home. One of the train attendants stopped to ask me if I was okay, if I wanted to talk. I think she saw the bruises and got the wrong conclusion. I finally arrived home, cried while my aunt hugged me and nicely told me I was being silly. I think I was just mainly overtired. Went to bed and slept ( Read more... )