The Elephant in the Room / Another Defriending Amnesty Post

[sheswatching]

I know I did this a week before the new year but I'm just putting it out there that if we're not that close and you're worried about awkwardness, please, feel free to defriend me. I'm not gonna say it won't hurt, 'cause it will (unless we seriously never speak) and my feelings are so fucking wrought right now. But we all have to do fandom our own

Comments

[halesmoon]

I think I'm one of the ignorant ones at the moment as I'm not exactly sure what just went down in fandom, but I love you and I agree with your views on the meme. No defriending will occur on my side.

♥

[sheswatching]

Thank you, Becky! And btw, so happy you're back in fandommmmmm and writing *twirls you*

[moonlitpines]

I believe in anonymous spaces as places to express yourself away from your username...while I won't defend the hate itself, I will defend the anon meme and its right to exist and people's right to use it.

That right there. My stance remains unchanged on the meme, nearly one year later.

I hate seeing people getting hurt and closing off because of this mess, but schisms happen in fandoms. I've seen it happen before, and it's not the end of the day and certainly not the end of fandom. It's just evolution.

Chin up, mom.

[sheswatching]

You've put it wonderfully and yeah, at the end of the day, it is a kind of evolution, who knows where it'll take us.

And thanks, bb :-*

[marguerite_26]

It's been a pretty shitty week all around, hasn't it?
:(

*hugs*

[sheswatching]

It really, really has. *cuddles*

[hbics]

I don't particularly go into anonymous memes and maybe I should, because I tend to stupidly mouth off on my flist and accidentally upset people. I say what I think about fandom. Maybe it's just that don't have the hugest of unpopular opinions for many fandoms or that lately I've gotten better at putting everythign behind a warning and a cut that just stating my opinions openly are working for me

[sheswatching]

Yeah, if I feel like something I say might end up offending, I try to warn, but would not NOT say it, I think.

Hmmm the problem isn't actually with what's happening on the meme, at least not for me, because I've been hated there on and off since I made it, and that's fine, I've also learned quite a bit about myself thanks to many comments, but, there are people who are defriending others over association with the meme or with me, which I think is grossly unfair to those people and anyone who is left on friendslist of those unfriended and those unfriending, placed in an awkward position of being in the middle and feeling like they need to choose.

What I don't think I made clear enough in my post is that I don't think we should have to choose and I won't fault anyone for having whatever friends they do, because friendships are friendships and not all of your friends have to get along, but to fault someone for other company they keep makes no sense to me. IDK.

*hugs back* <33

[hbics]

Ugh. That's even worse. *hugs even more*

That is a not cool thing to do. Friends who won't be your friends if you're friends with someone else? One of my bigger pet peeves. There are plenty of my friends' friends who I don't like. I put up with them 'cause my friends like them and I like my friends. Also I think it's just polite.

(lol, i realize how confusing those two sentences sound)

[kerryblaze]

A few things have been said about me on the anon meme. Nothing too harsh, but still not always positive, and some positive things too. During pthon my writing was discussed, positively and negatively.

None of that hurt half as much as being defriended out-of-the-blue with no explanation by someone who I thought I had a nice relationship with. Not tight friends, but someone who I had liked and thought liked me.

I can't even remember now what was exactly said on the meme, but for months now, every time I see that person comment on someone's LJ, I feel that pang of hurt again. Not that I'd ever want to be friends with that person again.

So yeah. Anon spaces aren't the only things that can hurt people.

[sheswatching]

Anon spaces aren't the only things that can hurt people.

This.

And, as always, you've managed to say exactly what I wanted to, but in fewer words and with much more impact. 's why you rock.