i have a very serious problem thinking that people don't want to be around me. i am completely delusional about it. even if you reach out to me, i think there is an angle. i am totally insane.

it can probably be blamed on being the highly emotional time of the month for me, but i need someone. i haven't spoken to my mother in over a week, and i am sort of scared of calling her. she'll be too busy entertaining somebody else or we'll just run out of things to say to eachother and will not fill up the 21 available minutes that my $5 calling ( Read more... )

the white stripes were amazing tonight. it was as if 2003-2007 never happened.

i could write something meaningful here, but instead i just want to say that i love lindsay lohan for the amount of lolz she brings to my world.

a few weeks ago i started listening to the new bright eyes album right before i fell asleep. i did this for about two weeks straight. i think that process of the songs sending me off into my land of lollipops and smiles made my stubborn distaste for bright eyes and conor oberst's voice turn into "like," even love perhaps. now my face lights up and ( Read more... )

i'm trying to make the most of the hand i've been dealt. just trying. better than crying. i think. it doesn't always work. in fact, it works one time out of ten. i'm still trying. anthony told me i am not doing anything right. i huff and puff because i can't handle hearing it because he's right. i'm going to stop being so impulsive, i say. being ( Read more... )

every night, even if it is immediately after dropping ava off at her mommy's, i find myself missing her so much. i have this feeling about her that i really never feel anymore. i guess this might be the way people feel about their dog. not that ava is a dog, but she can't hate me. she is always there to love me. she might freak out and cry for no ( Read more... )

i cried for the first time at a concert. and i did it twice.
my skin was covered in goosebumps for most of their hour and fifteen minutes set.

i have heart palpitations again.
same as the ones i had two summers ago.
nothing wrong with my health that time.
doctor said i was crazy.

second verse, same as the first.

still breaking this heart.