Heartbreak

[shi_illegitima]

I just do not know ... how to do this. I have no idea. I think I do not fully realize the extent of the disaster yet, because he has been gone since the beginning of October so I had plenty of time missing him already.

I wanted to know what has become of him rather than the uncertainty, but now that I come to think of it, it might have proven to be

Comments

[the_picture_of]

Ann is right. You put way too much blame on yourself and you should stop doing that. Claiming everything that has happened is your fault is nothing but injustice towards yourself. Bringing yourself down is perhaps your way of coping, but it is wrong. You do not deserve it, Wru does not deserve it, and your loved ones do not deserve it either.

You know that you are a good mother for your parrots, you know that you have done everything in your power to care for them and to get Wru back. Mourn for him, but stop blaming yourself. Whatever blame there ever could have been has long been paid back in tears.

love

[shi_illegitima]

Perhaps I should try to trick myself into thinking his death is not on my account, right, how exactly do you do that ? I would love to ... it is more than I can handle to deal with his loss alone, let be the fact it was of my direct doing. It is not my way of coping; I have none.

[ever_smaller]

Oh Jitka, it brings me to tears for Wru and for your pain. It is not your fault. I know you cant see that but I wish you could. And when I have found dead birds before, normally small wild birds, or when my cats have brought one in and it has not survived despite my care, I wrap it in cloth and put it in the freezer. If it is a bird that has a tag, I would not hurt the bird to remove it, it is not hard to see the numbers when the bird is not wriggling about, you dont need to remove the leg or anything. I doubt they would have done that, and I hope that they too treated him with the respect that ALL bodies deserve, especially something as beautiful and intelligent as Wru. If a taxidermist doesnt want the body, I bury it so it can go back into the ground (although if it had a tag of course I would make sure it was reported and if it had an owner I would keep the body wrapped and preserved until I knew if they wanted it) From the point of view of the better death, I think being tired and cold is probably the best way, knowing that

[zuleika]

All you need to do is add photos of your time with him and the breeder would see he made the right decision, sadly animals like people do not live forever no matter what you do to protect them.

*hugs*

[my_hypocrisy]

Oh honey, I am so, so sorry. I understand your pain and grief, and my heart hurts for you. But please...please stop being so damned harsh on yourself

[will_ah_wisp]

Oh Darlin - words cannot express how my heart hurts for you and yours. I wish I could be there for you...anything I say here seems trite, and ineffectual at best.