When I was four to five years old I had my first nightmare that I can remember. I was on the golden gate bridge, at that age I didn’t know it was the golden gate bridge I just knew it as the bridge to go to the city. I was on the bridge and the sky was red almost like it was on fire. I was standing in the center of the bridge and on one side there ( Read more... )

When I was 5 years old, I was enrolled in Karate Class. Still I’m not really sure as of why, but I learned a little something about the world there. Having a disability, like erbs palsy, can be quite confusing for a child. You’re told you have a disability, but no one but you can actually figure out what you physically can and can’t do. Everyone ( Read more... )

As part of my new years resolutions, which I always start after my Birthday. I 'm going to start posting parts and snip bits of my Autobiography. I'll try to do them Daily, but life will happen. Here's the First. When I was born Jan 4th, 1987 10:47 am. I had the birth cord thing Wrapped around my neck. I was going to be a goner. I survived and was ( Read more... )

So last night I was hanging with my lil sis and another fellow classmate of mine and out of nowhere I asked lil to play with my hair. Well I kinda asked I mostly just put my bean bag on her lap and put my head on it. Then she offered. Then my classmate who is also a female offered to massage my feet, I kind of reluctantly said yes. I like feeling ( Read more... )

Wow I'm angry today, bold, feisty, angry. I'm about to flip out. I'm calming down now. Wow I'm getting angry again. And again. I'm so freaking angry God. What is it your trying to tell me. Where shall I pray? What am I really angry about? What is hurting me. I've been thinking it just the lack of unity, but us there something more, I think not ( Read more... )

So lately I've been telling everyone and myself I'm going to eventually start working on my health again, quit smoking, eat healthier, diet and work out and loose weight, but all the while never really intending too. I have been working on my mental health for over a year. I went to sexual abuse therapy early this year. I've realized alot about my ( Read more... )

Wow I'm at school again in worship and for some reason I can't enter in really. Also I kind of have no desire too. I look at my own second year class and instead of wanting us to unified I kinda wish the vast lot of them weren't here. Im freaking shocked at the level I actually don't like them. It's like retarded. I freaking love everybody. Even ( Read more... )

Right now I'm in worship at school. It's been so hard to engage these last couple of weeks. I feel like God has been bringing me to a place where he feels comfortable to share with me His frustrations with worship from us. It's been quite a trip, boy I miss Curt. Lately at school my panic attacks have been less in the morning but strangely potent, ( Read more... )

So during the summer I had made a bet with my friend matt bayless I would quit smoking and drop at least 30 pounds. Well this didn't really end up happening, I lost 20 pounds and never really gave an attempt to quit smoking is one of my own beloved things I enjoy and cope with. My friend does know that and is why he wants me to quit so bad. He ( Read more... )

Its been a while I feel updates will be more often these days. I'll being a lot more honest these days explaining myself to me. Right now I'm at a fellow classmates house from my supernatural school, my thrid and final year. Were watching "Pride and prejudice" it's all girls and I'm fighting anxiety and panic attacks, I wouldn't have been able to ( Read more... )