aside from the amazement i just felt when i realized i've had this stupid thing for like, how long now? almost nine years. hahahaha holy crap ( Read more... )

got snuck up on by depression again. this fucking sucks. i need something to go right. i don't have the energy or the motivation to fight with this right now. fuck fuck fuck fuck.

don't do this to me again. i don't have california waiting for me to help me make it through this time.

today is payday. after taxes i get $164 this week. my phone and credit card bills are due ($102.40 and minimum $45). fuck my life. need my real job asap please.

i wish i'd believed in myself enough to try to dance or at least be a moraler while i still had the chance. out of four years at penn state that's the one thing i regret.

i hate my job. and apparently i'm pretty bad at it. i need more from life than this. i didn't major in spreadsheets and filing. i didn't realize it was possible to be bad at these things. i need a little more information than i'm getting to do them well. this can't all be a problem with me can it? i need to find something else. or do i need to ( Read more... )

my mom has the stupidest/most fucked up ideas about money.
( Read more... )

 i have my first real life grown up job interview this afternoon. in new york. midtown. on broadway. holy. shit. only freaking out a little........totally. just a little. (not).

ps i miss you LJ sorry i've been cheating on you with tumblr

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 cross posting from tumblr, because i think this kind of thing fits better here (and is easier to find again later) and I feel bad that i've been neglecting my poor ol' LJ.

Where you want to be in ten years.

I want to be doing something that makes me happy. Whether that means being a fine artist or an animator or a graphic designer or something ( Read more... )

 i'm not sure i'm going to get any sleep tonight.