Zeke Anderson/ LT Myron Goldman (Tour of Duty)
Title: Life During Wartime
Author: TrueEnough
Spoilers: Yes - for all three seasons.
e-mail: trueenough @ gmail dot com
LiveJournal: true_enough
My sincere apologies for posting late.
Vietnam 1967 to 1969:
Tour of Duty takes place during the height of American involvement in the Vietnam War when more than 525,000 soldiers were deployed to a country no bigger than the state of New Mexico. The average age of a World War II soldier was 26 but in Vietnam the number dropped to 19 despite the fact that a 19 year old was not of age to vote. At the same time, with the advent of a television in every home, the American population was given a nearly undiluted daily account of the life - and too often, the death - of a work-a-day soldier. Without a palatable or lasting objective, both soldiers and civilians were left to question their role in a war that had already gone on for too long and appeared far from being over. Seemingly left adrift in a political morass, soldiers crossed color, age and class lines to form allegiances with each other. At the same time, home became some other place called the World that was just as dangerous and unfathomable as Vietnam, where riots broke out and political leaders calling for peace were assassinated. It's in this environment that Sergeant Zeke Anderson and newly minted Lieutenant, Myron Goldman first meet.
Firebase Ladybird
Despite its somewhat genteel name Firebase Ladybird is little more than a clearing in the jungle with tents for housing and bunkers made out of sandbags. In late 1967 it is home to Bravo Company which seems to attract almost nightly incursions from the North Vietnamese Army. After an attack that exacts a heavy toll Sergeant Zeke Anderson, under the command of Captain Rusty Wallace, goes to Chu Lai to recruit more soldiers. He comes across a game of "jungle rules" volley ball and calls for the winners to line up and then for the bleeders to step back. With a little more weeding he ends up with bright eyed and gung ho Corporal Danny Percell, affable surfer Private Scott Baker, unmuddied machine gunner Private Alberto Ruiz and Private Roger Horn who is adamant about not fighting in the war but plays a mean harmonica to Zeke's delight. Last but not least he calls out for Second Lieutenant Myron Goldman who - for the first and last time - demands a salute from his Sergeant. These men are brought back to Ladybird where steadfast Private Marvin Johnson and fast-talking Private Marcus Taylor offer both guidance and insubordination in tandem. Although they all go through a rough start they soon become a seamless unit in large part because the Sergeant and Lieutenant they look to agree on one crucial matter: look out for each other.
Sergeant Zeke Anderson
Although he is only in his early 30's Zeke is considered an Army lifer, both married to and widowed by, the military. He is in his fourth month of his third tour and it shows. His existence has been pared down to what he needs to survive and little else. An awkward helmet is worn only when he is ordered to in lieu of a boonie or simply a bandana, the sleeves of nearly every shirt are torn off and he seems perfectly comfortable living in his own sweat and grime. He bears the scars of both the war and a civilian life that fell apart in the shadow of it. Recently divorced and barely acquainted with his young daughter Katie he has become increasingly disenfranchised from any life beyond being a soldier. When mail is delivered he simply walks away since there is no one to expect a letter from.
Familial relationships seem to be something that he understands best within the context of the Army and his war experience. With a father that ran off before he was born and a mother who gave him up when she could no longer take care of him, he seems to equate food, shelter and routine discipline, with care, whether it comes from a nun rapping his knuckles daily or the Army sending him off to war. When racial tensions flare up in Burn, Baby, Burn (1x6) he decks one soldier out of frustration and shouts at the rest, "Not in my platoon! Not in my platoon! This is where I live!"
He makes an odd, although effective, mother hen to the men in his company, always alert when one of his own is troubled. Although not exactly subtle about it, in The Short Timer (1x16) he is still quick to bring to Johnson's attention Taylor distancing himself as he comes closer to going home. Percell is treated like a beloved little brother. In Nowhere to Run (1x10) Zeke teases Percell until he gets a smile when he knows Percell is upset and later on in the same episode, along with Myron, rescues a drunk Percell from himself in a boom-boom bar. Never one to give up on a soul, Zeke and Johnson rescue Percell again in Cloud Nine (3x7) when he goes on a drug induced bender. Another soldier named Martsen is offered Zeke's shoulder without judgment or recrimination when Martsen suffers from an acute case of battle fatigue in True Grit (2x4). Late in the series with And Make Death Proud (3x13) he comes across Eddie Bell who is very much like himself in that Bell is happy to embed himself in the Army and make it his home despite the fierce firefight he barely survived - and despite the fact that he's only fifteen. When Bell dies in a reckless accident (Dead Man Tales 3x14) the other soldiers try to cover it up by tying him to a tree and hoping a sniper takes a shot at him so that he can be sent home as a hero. The well intentioned but wrongheaded effort leaves Zeke beside himself at what he perceives to be the disrespectful treatment of a brave soldier and little brother.
Despite being able to lead his fellow soldiers into battle - and out of it - he treats them with a kind of tenderness and empathy that he has barely known for himself. In The Good, the Bad and the Dead (1x8) he risks his good standing with his Lieutenant, Myron, to make sure that Aubrey Decker, a soldier he refers to as a hip-pocket buddy, gets a second chance after a history of insubordination. When Decker's drinking endangers Horn's life and ultimately costs Decker his own, Zeke carries him back to the Landing Zone, refusing to let anyone help him or say that Decker was anything but a good soldier. Sniper Greg Block in Sleeping Dogs (2x6) offers Zeke a different challenge when he realizes that Block is a warmonger near the breaking point. Others are left to watch in bewildered awe when Zeke takes the time to gently wipe the warpaint off of Block's face after he is forced to kill Block or be killed. Both Decker and Block are formidable men who don't ordinarily engender any kind of sympathy but Zeke's loyalty, while not always clear-eyed, is a constant landmark once it's established. As far as Zeke seems to be concerned the divorce rate between war buddies is next to zero.
Although he jokes with his men about what he would like to do in Sin City, when Zeke is around women he becomes soft spoken and gentle. In Saigon Part 1 (2x1) his ex-wife Carol comes to Vietnam for what Zeke initially thinks is a reconciliation but turns out to be a finalization of their divorce. When she tells him that she is remarrying there is no animosity or recrimination between them. Instead, they wish each other well and go on with their lives with their daughter Katie their primary relationship and not each other. Later in For What It's Worth (2x3) he meets civilian psychiatrist, Jennifer Seymour and despite their different backgrounds they become involved throughout the series. She is as calm and steady as he is which has the ironic effect of bringing Zeke's fears and insecurities to the surface. In Non-Essential Personnel (2x5) he tells her that she can have any man she wants and then asks, "What are you doing with me?" She reassures him that she's exactly where she wants to be and that if he stopped feeling sorry for himself he would realize that she loves him. He counters with the belief that if she stopped feeling sorry for him she'd realize that she wasn't. It's an argument that they put aside but it echoes throughout their relationship. Zeke eventually sells 3 of his medals to help buy an engagement ring in Terms of Enlistment (2x9) but decides not to propose when he finds out that Jennifer has been offered a direct commission to Major back in the States and does not want to stand in her way. When he visits her at Fort Sam Houston in Lonely At the Top (3x4) he does propose - at the tail end of a fight. She says yes but ends up giving back the ring with a promise to accept it if they still feel the same way when Zeke returns from Vietnam - a decision he makes after a nightmare about not being there to protect his men - although it's a safe assumption that he is going back to look after a very troubled Myron. Their relationship seems to flourish from a distance with an exchange of letters and care packages - one including Freud's Interpretation of Dreams, a book that Myron points out will tell Zeke what a sexual pervert he is.
It is a sharp irony that the war offers Zeke more opportunities to hold and care for a child than he has his own daughter. In War Lover (1x4) he takes the time to try and console a young girl who has lost her mother while another Sergeant and Myron try to get him to move on. Not an easy task. In Brothers, Fathers and Sons (1x7) he does try to move on but ends up being the one fully invested. It is an episode not for the faint of heart where Zeke's history - and all of his high emotions - are revealed and laid bare. After a helicopter crash leaves him stranded with Johnson and Baker he makes a half-hearted show of grudgingly taking on the care of a baby whose mother died giving birth to him. Initially Zeke makes a lot of noise about how the baby would have been better off not being born since life was only going to offer him "one kick in the butt after another" and then soon thereafter ends up naming the child Judd after his own benefactor. By the time Zeke warbles "Baby Love" accompanied by artillery fire off in the distance - and his own set of lyrics - Judd is his child as much as any blood relation. In the end, Zeke is brought low in the most personal and gut-wrenching way when Judd is killed by a stray bullet. The last image of Zeke - sitting in-between Johnson and Baker and holding their hands while Johnson holds Judd's hand - is the only time in the entire series where he looks completely defeated.
Despite the toll it takes on him his empathy is something that he carries with him throughout the series although he does begin to slowly distance himself somewhat. In Sins of the Father (2x13) he kills a sniper only to find out that it was a woman with a baby. He takes the baby back to the firebase for care but he has begun to hold back, at one point reaching out with his finger to the baby and then deciding against it as if too much contact with him might lead to the child's destruction. Somehow the baby knows better and cannot take his eyes off of Zeke.
He is a solid and steady presence, who for all of that, lives close to his emotions and is not afraid to follow them.
Lieutenant Myron Goldman
An Army brat and the son of a Major General, Myron arrives at Firebase Ladybird trying to both live up to and outlive his fathers legacy. The fact that he has gone to Officers Candidate School instead of West Point - the way his fathers position would have afforded - is a strong indication that he is pursuing a career in the Army despite his father and not because of him. Their estrangement is confirmed in Blood Brothers (1x17) when the Major General comes to Ladybird on a fact finding mission and while Myron pays respect to the rank it's obvious he has little for the man. It's during this visit that Myron confides in Zeke that his mother committed suicide when he was a teenager and also that he thought he was going to be an English Lit teacher - a pursuit his service in the Army seems to have interrupted.
He turns out to be the kind of leader who puts himself on point instead of barking orders from a safe distance and while he starts his tour "by the numbers" he quickly learns that very little in Vietnam follows any textbook rules of engagement.
He is smart and compassionate but the first qualities he shows off are his stubbornness and his flash-pan temper. Both seem to be rooted in exasperation and a sense of otherness and both are minimized the more he becomes a part of the company that he leads. Although he possesses real courage he is highly emotional and given to bouts of hysteria. In I Am What I Am (3x9) his visiting father defends hitting Myron when Myron became hysterical over the news of his mothers death. In Notes From the Underground (1x2) he resorts to laughing after he revives Zeke when a cave in nearly kills him. He has the same reaction in The Luck (3x1) when he and Zeke are taken prisoner. With a wounded leg, he falls down a steep path only to end up giggling in a heap at the bottom. It is a enough to worry Zeke who gets him standing and quieted down. Later, when they are caged, they witness a Viet Cong soldier accidentally peeing on another soldier and while Zeke laughs along with Myron there is such a desperate quality to Myron's laugh that even the soldiers of their ridicule do not punish them for it.
Given his background it's not surprising that he is prone to broken or missed connections. In the appropriately named Dislocations (1x3) he quickly becomes enamored with a woman from a ville that he and his platoon have been ordered to move. When her VC husband shows up to collect her Myron is left to sit in the grass until Zeke comes to collect him. Later in Gray-Brown Odyssey (1x16) he is blinded and forced to rely on a VC prisoner, a woman he feeds by hand and comes to respect and then ends up covered in her blood when she is mistakenly shot by other VC soldiers. Even his Jewish faith somehow escapes him. In the same episode he tries to say a Kaddish over a fallen soldier only to lose his place when he can't remember all of the words. When his father shows up again in I Am What I Am (3x9) with the news that he's dying of cancer they are still unable to form a real bond. The eleventh hour show of affection, while sincere, seems to confuse Myron who has only known a father he can sharpen himself against or be cut.
The women that he does connect with are just as unfathomable. Nikki Raines is a nurse he met stateside and is reunited with her in Nowhere To Run (1x10) when she is transferred to Chu Lai. Even before Myron is brought into the hospital with a head wound in Angel of Mercy (1x20) she has already decided that she can't be involved with a soldier who could so easily be lost to the war. With that in mind, she has an abortion - something Myron finds out only after the fact. They somehow reconcile but in the end (The Hill 1x21) she breaks off the relationship unceremoniously and transfers again.
He all too quickly rebounds with reporter Alex Devlin who works for Asian News International. She is much like Myron's father in that her career comes before even her own safety or that of anyone trying to get her attention. When chopper-jock Johnny McKay sends Myron on a wild goose chase in order to be alone with Alex, Myron ends up nearly being killed when he stumbles upon VC soldiers setting up an offense. At first Alex seems genuinely contrite over creating a situation where the two men would fight over her recklessly but her eyes only really light up when Myron angrily spells out the plan to overtake the base during Tet, the Vietnamese New Year. It is the kind of story she could only hope for and sadly, it is the kind of relationship that Myron seems all to willing to participate in.
Alex's constant readiness to hare off on another story exasperates Myron but it also seems to bring out a full-bodied affection from him that translates not only to her but also to his company and especially to Zeke. It is more verbal than tactile and often presents itself when he is doing nothing more than listening. In Saigon Part 1 (2x1) he joins Zeke in a bar by swatting him on the shoulder with his cap and advising him not to drink alone and then listens quietly as Zeke tells him about his father. He nearly shines on Zeke with open adoration.
It is the kind of moment that comes into stark relief to the way he is after Alex is killed in an explosion hours before she is suppose to leave Vietnam for Paris. After realizing that Alex will stay in country for a story but not for him they set a last dinner date only for Myron to witness her caught in a bomb blast. She dies in his arms and her loss, coupled with a lifetime of wrenching losses, devastates him in a way that he never fully recovers from. There is no hysterical laughter this time, only an angry and determined desire to withdraw and a near suicidal recklessness.
He remains a good soldier but there is an edge of danger to him now that leaves those around him worried and often at a loss over what to do. In The Ties That Bind (3x3) he goes on a mission to capture a tax collector while Zeke is in the States visiting his daughter and Jennifer. The mission goes as planned until Myron breaks cover by standing up and shooting the tax collectors two bodyguards and then aiming the gun at the collector, ready to fire. His men talk him down but they are clearly shaken over his actions and it will not be the last time. In Odd Man Out (3x12) his team is assigned to rescue the wife of a local province chief only to find out that she is running away with her infant daughter. When the baby begins to cry while they are hiding from VC soldiers Myron takes the baby and holds a rag over her face to stifle her crying and, consequently, her breathing. It is a long and excruciating moment before the soldiers pass and Myron takes the rag away to reveal that the baby is quite all right although it takes Myron a while to push himself to his feet. Taylor, who has never shied away from letting Myron know what he thinks, shames Myron for his actions although he comes to some understanding of them when Myron tells him that he is willing to repeat those actions if they would save his men. Still, it is a dark and precarious time for him.
There are lifelines thrown out to Myron - most notably from Zeke - but some only add to his growing sense of futility. When he is reunited with his friend Skip Beller from OCS in A Bodyguard of Lies (3x5) he is nearly exuberant but that's violently wiped off the table when it comes to light that Beller was involved in a massacre at Phu An. Beller's eventual demise will result in another suicide as Myron witnesses Beller shooting himself just outside a courtroom in Three Cheers for the Orange, White and Blue (3x19). The addition of Colonel Brewster gives Myron an astute and admirable leader to follow but when Brewster pushes for an investigation into Phu An he is demoted and ostracized by the Army they both serve.
Myron has always been shown to be a heavy drinker - a shot glass looking like the perfect companion for his ever faithful cigarettes - and is frequently played out in a light tone. In True Grit (2x4) he drunkenly laments to a puzzled prostitute about the unfathomable nature of women only to get a dart stuck in her hair. In the more somber Hard Stripe (2x15) he gets a quick shot in before Zeke joins him for another only to have Zeke pour it for him when he is too shaken to do it himself. They are the kind of moments that make you wonder what role alcohol will play in his civilian life and if the amiable and verbal bouts of drinking he takes on will turn to something more self-destructive.
Despite how the war has worn him down and left him possibly even further removed than when he began, he remains clear-eyed and empathetic, his authority hard won and well used.
Zeke and Myron
Home Is Where You Dig It
When Zeke and Myron first meet they are a study of contrasts. Years apart in age, Zeke is solid and square as a boxer and not afraid to get dirty while Myron is somewhat smaller, built like a high school baseball hero and so freshly scrubbed he is nearly pink - although not for long.
They start out at odds with each other with Zeke operating somewhat outside the lines of protocol and Myron doing his best to follow it. Their first mission together is hectic. Myron, who is determined to lead his men into combat, jumps off the helicopter and rallies them towards an enemy occupied tree line. Men are wounded and terrified as they are picked off out in the open until Zeke hauls Myron to the ground with an order of his own: "Keep your butt down, Lieutenant!" Zeke calls in an air strike while Myron is left stung and angry over his authority being usurped. He is full of pride but not foolish so when they come across a large ammo depot Myron calls for reinforcements himself - earning a "Bless your heart" from Zeke.
It's a good start although not the end of their sniping. In Notes From the Underground (1x2) they trade a couple of barbed comments and then agree to investigate dangerous underground tunnels that have left one soldier severely wounded. In close quarters they put their differences aside and finally begin to take a more accurate stock of each other. When they come across a poisonous snake Myron confesses that he's afraid of them. Zeke offers to kill the snake for him but Myron shores up his courage and does it himself, leaving Zeke to admire him for overcoming his fear. To break the ice even further Zeke cheerfully teaches Myron the correct pronunciation for a Vietnamese insult. By the time Myron pleads - "Oh God, please..." - for Zeke to breathe again after a cave in they are already at the beginning of a relationship that will become a cornerstone for both of them. As Zeke will point out later, they learn from each other and soon the sight of them working together is a common one.
Considering the situation that they're in it's not surprising that they make a profound connection with each other. Sudden and violent death is part of the daily equation not to mention the ineptitude of higher-ups and the bureaucracy they have to work within. There is little time or place for even a decent meal much less a relationship as Myron finds out not once, but twice. Still, the connection is made and as their tours drag on it proves to be quiet and unwavering.
It's clear early on that Myron needs a lot of space to become close to someone. When Horn gets too close Myron shrugs him off (Gray-Brown Odyssey 1x16). When McKay tries to talk to him at the showers - when all Myron wants is a soak and a cigarette - Myron dries off and leaves (Hard Stripe 2x15). No one can call McKay a quitter. In And Make Death Proud (3x13) McKay moves into Myron's hooch complete with AC and loud music. Myron's response is to fire a line of bullets into the floor marking his side and McKay's. It's a scene that's played for laughs but the message is violently clear: this is my side and that is yours and they do not cross-pollinate. Zeke on the other hand maintains a careful and watchful orbit around Myron and in the process gives Myron an opportunity to reach out for him. This is illustrated wonderfully in Sealed With a Kiss (2x14) where Zeke and Myron are sent to retrieve a briefcase with classified documents from a downed helicopter. Myron is bitten by a scorpion but instead of going back to the LZ he pushes himself through the effects of the poison to complete the mission and, it could be read, to watch out for Zeke. When they arrive back at base they step off the helicopter with Myron more than a little unsteady. Zeke does not make a show of helping Myron but stays within arms reach - roughly the space Myron needs - and lets Myron hold on to his shoulder - and let go - without comment or complaint. On some level Myron picks up on this and later tells Zeke "I'm glad you were out there with me, sergeant. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else."
Sealed With a Kiss is also notable for the way Zeke has of never forgetting rank but not the same talent for following orders. When Myron begins to feel sick he tells Zeke to take the briefcase to the LZ and send back help for him. Without missing a beat Zeke simply says, "No, LT," and then tells Myron how he will create a diversion while Myron heads to the LZ. Myron goes along but is not to be outdone in stubbornness as he stays on the riverbank and provides covering fire with a handgun. They head back to the LZ together only to have the helicopter leave without Zeke. Myron calls out, "My sergeant! You can't just leave him!" with such possessive desperation that there is no doubt that Zeke means more to him than possibly even he realizes. When the helicopter continues to leave Myron threatens to throw the briefcase out unless they go back for Zeke. Another officer threatens him with a court martial but Myron's only response is, "Now dammit, now!" They go back.
Zeke does sometimes forget to keep his distance as in Angel of Mercy (1x20) when Myron is creased by a bullet. Zeke harnesses both Myron and their prisoner to him as a helicopter takes them to a med-evac where Nikki is stationed. Zeke is so unnerved by Myron's injury that he doesn't realize that he's been shot in the leg until they get there. When a traitor is revealed and abducts Nikki, Myron goes after him along with Zeke. At one point Zeke throws a grenade in a storeroom and then barefoot and clad only in pajamas uses his body to protect Myron from the blast. True to form, Myron seems oblivious to the act but later gives Zeke a look that can only be called adoring.
The Second half of Myron's tour reveals that he has been both humbled and enlightened by his experience in Vietnam. If up to this point it seems that Zeke has been doing all of the heavy lifting Myron begins to show him that he has been paying attention. Zeke has a big mans way of being light handed and Myron begins to mirror it back to Zeke. When they talk they face each other and those beautiful brown eyes of Myron's hold Zeke. Zeke moves into Myron's space only to have Myron call him back when he steps out of it. There are more than a few instances when Zeke is at the door, ready to leave and Myron will remember one more thing to tell him even if it's only to wish him luck.
Myron is also the one who initiates a policy that if Zeke volunteers for a mission then Myron will back him up. In Lonesome Cowboy Blues (2x12) Myron stands in the background and nearly strains himself rolling his eyes when Zeke volunteers for what can only be a suicide mission. Of course, Myron goes with him and wastes no time reining Zeke in when Zeke tells him, "It's best you wait here." Myron looks him right in the eye and tells Zeke, "You're not listening to me. Both of us come back or neither one us comes back. End of discussion. Let's go." Zeke is stunned momentarily and then leads the way. Later in The Volunteer (2x16) Zeke proves that he's been paying attention, too, when he goes back for a wounded Myron and again they come to the agreement that wither thou goest so shall I.
It's a decision that results in both of them being taken as POW's. They manage to escape and at Alex's urging Myron finally decides to take an administrative position for the rest of his tour. It's a hard loss for Zeke although there is nothing to do but wish Myron the best. They share a drink, straddling chairs, mirroring each others body language. Zeke manages to tell Myron that "The men will miss him," and Myron, hearing everything behind the simple statement bows his head and remains silent. It's no surprise that when Zeke goes to leave Myron calls him back to wish him luck.
The death of Alex soon after causes Myron to change his mind and stay but even when he is within arms reach his angry grief has once again set him apart. He becomes withdrawn and volatile and never more so than when Zeke is away in The Ties That Bind (3x3). Shortly before Zeke leaves he tells Myron that he's not sure he should go. Ragged around the edges and unable to acknowledge Zeke's true meaning, Myron tells him not to worry, he'll look after the men. Zeke states his case more clearly with, "To be real honest with you, Lieutenant, I'm more concerned with who's going to look after you." Myron does not acknowledge this either.
Their bond is by no means diminished but for a time it must depend on them simply believing in each other, almost silently, but with no less fervor. The hard times they face with Myron's father losing a battle with cancer and Zeke witnessing Percell succumbing to drug addiction makes each other more and more of a source of comfort and ease.
Sins of the Father (2x13) reveals how well they know each other by how they fight. Taking jabs at sore subjects, never once raising their voices, they end it without apology, still sitting side by side. Zeke picks up that Myron is upset with Alex and Zeke, completely unrepentant, tells Myron that he should get his head on straight before they go out into the bush the next day. Myron is flustered enough to have trouble lighting his cigarette but manages to fire back, "I could suggest the same for you," knowing full well that Zeke had just delivered a baby to an orphanage - a baby Zeke orphaned by shooting his mother who was a sniper. It's the kind of exchange that only people who have decided that they're in it for the long haul will abide by.
In Green Christmas (3x11) they put aside fraternization rules and exchange holiday gifts. At this point there are already large cracks in the wall Myron has put up and you can practically hear the bricks hit the ground as Zeke gives him a small transistor radio. The handful of seconds that Myron takes before he accepts it is very telling about what little he thinks he means to people. He does not waste a moment though, giving Zeke a bottle of good scotch. The look on Myron's face - open and relaxed and with no small amount of affection - as Zeke tells him about his first Christmas in the Army is also very telling and very promising. Later, when they are outside guarding a group of orphans, not unlike Zeke, he tells Myron that it's not often he gets to do such a thing and that, for him, the situation is "almost perfect." Myron, who is unable to keep from smiling around the words, tells him, "And I got you." It is at once an acceptance of Zeke in his life and a declaration of wanting him there.
It is also problematic in that they are still fighting a war and they are still officer and sergeant and there is now the undeniable fact that if one should lose the other the survivor might never recover from the loss. In Odd Man Out (3x12) Zeke once again volunteers to run interference while Myron and the other men go to a nearby village. The pained look on Myron's face as he watches Zeke leave says it all . As time passes, Myron is left to silently choke back his own fear that Zeke might not have survived his mission. When Zeke unceremoniously returns through some tall grass Myron's relief is palpable and breathtaking. The same predicament is played out again even more dramatically in And Make Death Proud (3x13). When Zeke must take a platoon of FNG's (Fucking New Guys) to reclaim an old firebase they are both unable to look at each other although Myron is clearly anguished to send him off. It's with that scene that I finally understood why fraternization rules are in place. It's not because officers are better than sergeants but because it is an awful place to stand when you must send someone you care for personally off to do something that might end in their death. In this case, Zeke and his platoon are left to fend for themselves until morning light when the ground they recovered is overrun with the NVA and VC and Myron is powerless to help him. It's an excruciatingly experience for both of them.
The Road to Long Binh (3x15) is ostensibly about a deserter named Digby that Zeke and Myron must deliver to Long Binh jail and yet it ends up revealing what these two men really mean to each other. When the entire base succumbs to food poisoning from the mess hall Zeke and Myron are the only two left standing since they had their own dinner off base at LuLu's. (Apparently socializing off the clock is good for more than one thing.) Initially Myron gripes about having to take a detail that's only a step above latrine duty but Zeke is more than happy for the both of them. The prospect of time alone with Myron makes him point out the silver lining at hand. Myron finally concedes that he would like a steam and a steak and Zeke seems eager to provide both. The meal starts off with them questioning exactly what kind of steak they're eating and then Myron, all business, goes over Digby's file. Zeke finally complains that in addition to deserting, Digby is also ruining a very good meal. Myron relents and puts the file away. I'm not sure whether to be amused or appalled that Zeke is not above liquoring Myron up with "33" beer to get him relaxed and talking but what follows is an affirmation of every thing that has gone before with each man telling the other exactly what he thought of him the first time they met. Zeke starts if off with, "So tell me, LT, what did you think?" Myron tells him that his father told him about his kind. Lifers. Square-jawed-take-it-on-the-chin kind of guys. "Hate to break in new officers." Zeke reassures him that he considers him a damn fine officer. "Half the time I find myself learning from you." Myron sobers a bit against such high praise and then tells Zeke it's his turn. Zeke is reluctant at first but then peppers his observation with enough "sir's" and mention of rank to take away any sting. He tells Myron that when he laid eyes on him he started calculation his Date Eligible to Return from Overseas Duty (DEROS). "Lord take me home." Myron takes it good naturedly but Zeke continues by telling him that Myron was the first officer he met who was willing to learn the rules that were not written in the book - something that Zeke obviously holds in high regard. "Yes, sir." Again, Myron has to brace himself against Zeke's good opinion of him but he is not to be outdone. He tells Zeke that he was "blessed" with someone who could teach him his job. "You did that." He lets Zeke know that he considers him a fine leader and that he knew that his trust was not misplaced, "so..." They toast each other.
"Blessed" is a wonderfully strong and emotion laden word to use and one that I think had been on the tip of Myron's tongue for a good long time. That have both come from tumultuous histories to find a kind of peace with each other in the most unlikely of places - the middle of America's longest running war.
The series ends with their team scattered to the four winds, some wounded and almost all of them fractured in some way by their tour. Zeke and Myron remain behind with their fates unknown. Without fuss or fanfare they continue to do their best to prepare the next wave recruits for battle. What awaits them when they do come home can only be guessed at but wherever they land it's hard not to imagine that they will somehow find their way to one doorstep or another and be welcomed there. They deserve nothing less.
Tour of Duty References
Mel (henrycat) and DC (dawnchsr) have written an amazing Overview for crack_van that goes into detail about all of the characters and offers a long list of archives, info and authors and artists. Some things are so good though that they bear repeating, so...
Notes From the Underground: Large and active slash focused archive that also includes some great gen stories.
Tour of Duty Info: Wonderful place for character bios, episode guide and real world references for Vietnam by ToD advisor Lee Russell. It was invaluable and inspiring for writing this manifesto.
Tour of Duty at LJ: Stories, videos, icons, art and information.
Dear America: Letters Home from Vietnam: An excellent DVD with simple letters written home providing the narration. It encapsulates a complex war as told from the ground.
Fiction
Realisation by Biblio: An after the war sequel to Resolution that details the stops and starts of Zeke and Myron building a life together.
In the Minds Eye by Creed Cascade: The story that launched an AU. The entire squad consists of paired and bonded warriors modeled after The Sacred Band of Thebes.
The Minds Eye Revisited by DC: Two long arcs that explore the Minds Eye Universe.
Of Obstinacy and Bugs by SnowFlake: A missing scene from Sealed With a Kiss that shows how Zeke supports Myron from a slight distance.
Razor's Edge by Creed Cascade and Major Brat: Life after the war is anything but easy.
Vids
SongVids
Reason to Mourn by Ben Harper/Songvid by Kallie: The vid that took some nice memories of a very good show and turned them into a fandom I can't get enough of. Song and images are seamless.
The Boy Feels Strange by Melissa Etheridge/Songvid by Kallie: The profound changes Myron goes through while in Vietnam as witnessed by Zeke.
Manah-Manah by the Muppets/Songvid by Kallie: Hilarious. I'm serious.
DVD
All three seasons of Tour of Duty are out on DVD. The original iconic '60's soundtrack is missing but after the initial mew of disappointment the characters and stories come through just as powerfully as they ever did.
Your thoughts are welcomed.
Author: TrueEnough
Spoilers: Yes - for all three seasons.
e-mail: trueenough @ gmail dot com
LiveJournal: true_enough
My sincere apologies for posting late.
Vietnam 1967 to 1969:
Tour of Duty takes place during the height of American involvement in the Vietnam War when more than 525,000 soldiers were deployed to a country no bigger than the state of New Mexico. The average age of a World War II soldier was 26 but in Vietnam the number dropped to 19 despite the fact that a 19 year old was not of age to vote. At the same time, with the advent of a television in every home, the American population was given a nearly undiluted daily account of the life - and too often, the death - of a work-a-day soldier. Without a palatable or lasting objective, both soldiers and civilians were left to question their role in a war that had already gone on for too long and appeared far from being over. Seemingly left adrift in a political morass, soldiers crossed color, age and class lines to form allegiances with each other. At the same time, home became some other place called the World that was just as dangerous and unfathomable as Vietnam, where riots broke out and political leaders calling for peace were assassinated. It's in this environment that Sergeant Zeke Anderson and newly minted Lieutenant, Myron Goldman first meet.
Firebase Ladybird
Despite its somewhat genteel name Firebase Ladybird is little more than a clearing in the jungle with tents for housing and bunkers made out of sandbags. In late 1967 it is home to Bravo Company which seems to attract almost nightly incursions from the North Vietnamese Army. After an attack that exacts a heavy toll Sergeant Zeke Anderson, under the command of Captain Rusty Wallace, goes to Chu Lai to recruit more soldiers. He comes across a game of "jungle rules" volley ball and calls for the winners to line up and then for the bleeders to step back. With a little more weeding he ends up with bright eyed and gung ho Corporal Danny Percell, affable surfer Private Scott Baker, unmuddied machine gunner Private Alberto Ruiz and Private Roger Horn who is adamant about not fighting in the war but plays a mean harmonica to Zeke's delight. Last but not least he calls out for Second Lieutenant Myron Goldman who - for the first and last time - demands a salute from his Sergeant. These men are brought back to Ladybird where steadfast Private Marvin Johnson and fast-talking Private Marcus Taylor offer both guidance and insubordination in tandem. Although they all go through a rough start they soon become a seamless unit in large part because the Sergeant and Lieutenant they look to agree on one crucial matter: look out for each other.
Sergeant Zeke Anderson
Although he is only in his early 30's Zeke is considered an Army lifer, both married to and widowed by, the military. He is in his fourth month of his third tour and it shows. His existence has been pared down to what he needs to survive and little else. An awkward helmet is worn only when he is ordered to in lieu of a boonie or simply a bandana, the sleeves of nearly every shirt are torn off and he seems perfectly comfortable living in his own sweat and grime. He bears the scars of both the war and a civilian life that fell apart in the shadow of it. Recently divorced and barely acquainted with his young daughter Katie he has become increasingly disenfranchised from any life beyond being a soldier. When mail is delivered he simply walks away since there is no one to expect a letter from.
Familial relationships seem to be something that he understands best within the context of the Army and his war experience. With a father that ran off before he was born and a mother who gave him up when she could no longer take care of him, he seems to equate food, shelter and routine discipline, with care, whether it comes from a nun rapping his knuckles daily or the Army sending him off to war. When racial tensions flare up in Burn, Baby, Burn (1x6) he decks one soldier out of frustration and shouts at the rest, "Not in my platoon! Not in my platoon! This is where I live!"
He makes an odd, although effective, mother hen to the men in his company, always alert when one of his own is troubled. Although not exactly subtle about it, in The Short Timer (1x16) he is still quick to bring to Johnson's attention Taylor distancing himself as he comes closer to going home. Percell is treated like a beloved little brother. In Nowhere to Run (1x10) Zeke teases Percell until he gets a smile when he knows Percell is upset and later on in the same episode, along with Myron, rescues a drunk Percell from himself in a boom-boom bar. Never one to give up on a soul, Zeke and Johnson rescue Percell again in Cloud Nine (3x7) when he goes on a drug induced bender. Another soldier named Martsen is offered Zeke's shoulder without judgment or recrimination when Martsen suffers from an acute case of battle fatigue in True Grit (2x4). Late in the series with And Make Death Proud (3x13) he comes across Eddie Bell who is very much like himself in that Bell is happy to embed himself in the Army and make it his home despite the fierce firefight he barely survived - and despite the fact that he's only fifteen. When Bell dies in a reckless accident (Dead Man Tales 3x14) the other soldiers try to cover it up by tying him to a tree and hoping a sniper takes a shot at him so that he can be sent home as a hero. The well intentioned but wrongheaded effort leaves Zeke beside himself at what he perceives to be the disrespectful treatment of a brave soldier and little brother.
Despite being able to lead his fellow soldiers into battle - and out of it - he treats them with a kind of tenderness and empathy that he has barely known for himself. In The Good, the Bad and the Dead (1x8) he risks his good standing with his Lieutenant, Myron, to make sure that Aubrey Decker, a soldier he refers to as a hip-pocket buddy, gets a second chance after a history of insubordination. When Decker's drinking endangers Horn's life and ultimately costs Decker his own, Zeke carries him back to the Landing Zone, refusing to let anyone help him or say that Decker was anything but a good soldier. Sniper Greg Block in Sleeping Dogs (2x6) offers Zeke a different challenge when he realizes that Block is a warmonger near the breaking point. Others are left to watch in bewildered awe when Zeke takes the time to gently wipe the warpaint off of Block's face after he is forced to kill Block or be killed. Both Decker and Block are formidable men who don't ordinarily engender any kind of sympathy but Zeke's loyalty, while not always clear-eyed, is a constant landmark once it's established. As far as Zeke seems to be concerned the divorce rate between war buddies is next to zero.
Although he jokes with his men about what he would like to do in Sin City, when Zeke is around women he becomes soft spoken and gentle. In Saigon Part 1 (2x1) his ex-wife Carol comes to Vietnam for what Zeke initially thinks is a reconciliation but turns out to be a finalization of their divorce. When she tells him that she is remarrying there is no animosity or recrimination between them. Instead, they wish each other well and go on with their lives with their daughter Katie their primary relationship and not each other. Later in For What It's Worth (2x3) he meets civilian psychiatrist, Jennifer Seymour and despite their different backgrounds they become involved throughout the series. She is as calm and steady as he is which has the ironic effect of bringing Zeke's fears and insecurities to the surface. In Non-Essential Personnel (2x5) he tells her that she can have any man she wants and then asks, "What are you doing with me?" She reassures him that she's exactly where she wants to be and that if he stopped feeling sorry for himself he would realize that she loves him. He counters with the belief that if she stopped feeling sorry for him she'd realize that she wasn't. It's an argument that they put aside but it echoes throughout their relationship. Zeke eventually sells 3 of his medals to help buy an engagement ring in Terms of Enlistment (2x9) but decides not to propose when he finds out that Jennifer has been offered a direct commission to Major back in the States and does not want to stand in her way. When he visits her at Fort Sam Houston in Lonely At the Top (3x4) he does propose - at the tail end of a fight. She says yes but ends up giving back the ring with a promise to accept it if they still feel the same way when Zeke returns from Vietnam - a decision he makes after a nightmare about not being there to protect his men - although it's a safe assumption that he is going back to look after a very troubled Myron. Their relationship seems to flourish from a distance with an exchange of letters and care packages - one including Freud's Interpretation of Dreams, a book that Myron points out will tell Zeke what a sexual pervert he is.
It is a sharp irony that the war offers Zeke more opportunities to hold and care for a child than he has his own daughter. In War Lover (1x4) he takes the time to try and console a young girl who has lost her mother while another Sergeant and Myron try to get him to move on. Not an easy task. In Brothers, Fathers and Sons (1x7) he does try to move on but ends up being the one fully invested. It is an episode not for the faint of heart where Zeke's history - and all of his high emotions - are revealed and laid bare. After a helicopter crash leaves him stranded with Johnson and Baker he makes a half-hearted show of grudgingly taking on the care of a baby whose mother died giving birth to him. Initially Zeke makes a lot of noise about how the baby would have been better off not being born since life was only going to offer him "one kick in the butt after another" and then soon thereafter ends up naming the child Judd after his own benefactor. By the time Zeke warbles "Baby Love" accompanied by artillery fire off in the distance - and his own set of lyrics - Judd is his child as much as any blood relation. In the end, Zeke is brought low in the most personal and gut-wrenching way when Judd is killed by a stray bullet. The last image of Zeke - sitting in-between Johnson and Baker and holding their hands while Johnson holds Judd's hand - is the only time in the entire series where he looks completely defeated.
Despite the toll it takes on him his empathy is something that he carries with him throughout the series although he does begin to slowly distance himself somewhat. In Sins of the Father (2x13) he kills a sniper only to find out that it was a woman with a baby. He takes the baby back to the firebase for care but he has begun to hold back, at one point reaching out with his finger to the baby and then deciding against it as if too much contact with him might lead to the child's destruction. Somehow the baby knows better and cannot take his eyes off of Zeke.
He is a solid and steady presence, who for all of that, lives close to his emotions and is not afraid to follow them.
Lieutenant Myron Goldman
An Army brat and the son of a Major General, Myron arrives at Firebase Ladybird trying to both live up to and outlive his fathers legacy. The fact that he has gone to Officers Candidate School instead of West Point - the way his fathers position would have afforded - is a strong indication that he is pursuing a career in the Army despite his father and not because of him. Their estrangement is confirmed in Blood Brothers (1x17) when the Major General comes to Ladybird on a fact finding mission and while Myron pays respect to the rank it's obvious he has little for the man. It's during this visit that Myron confides in Zeke that his mother committed suicide when he was a teenager and also that he thought he was going to be an English Lit teacher - a pursuit his service in the Army seems to have interrupted.
He turns out to be the kind of leader who puts himself on point instead of barking orders from a safe distance and while he starts his tour "by the numbers" he quickly learns that very little in Vietnam follows any textbook rules of engagement.
He is smart and compassionate but the first qualities he shows off are his stubbornness and his flash-pan temper. Both seem to be rooted in exasperation and a sense of otherness and both are minimized the more he becomes a part of the company that he leads. Although he possesses real courage he is highly emotional and given to bouts of hysteria. In I Am What I Am (3x9) his visiting father defends hitting Myron when Myron became hysterical over the news of his mothers death. In Notes From the Underground (1x2) he resorts to laughing after he revives Zeke when a cave in nearly kills him. He has the same reaction in The Luck (3x1) when he and Zeke are taken prisoner. With a wounded leg, he falls down a steep path only to end up giggling in a heap at the bottom. It is a enough to worry Zeke who gets him standing and quieted down. Later, when they are caged, they witness a Viet Cong soldier accidentally peeing on another soldier and while Zeke laughs along with Myron there is such a desperate quality to Myron's laugh that even the soldiers of their ridicule do not punish them for it.
Given his background it's not surprising that he is prone to broken or missed connections. In the appropriately named Dislocations (1x3) he quickly becomes enamored with a woman from a ville that he and his platoon have been ordered to move. When her VC husband shows up to collect her Myron is left to sit in the grass until Zeke comes to collect him. Later in Gray-Brown Odyssey (1x16) he is blinded and forced to rely on a VC prisoner, a woman he feeds by hand and comes to respect and then ends up covered in her blood when she is mistakenly shot by other VC soldiers. Even his Jewish faith somehow escapes him. In the same episode he tries to say a Kaddish over a fallen soldier only to lose his place when he can't remember all of the words. When his father shows up again in I Am What I Am (3x9) with the news that he's dying of cancer they are still unable to form a real bond. The eleventh hour show of affection, while sincere, seems to confuse Myron who has only known a father he can sharpen himself against or be cut.
The women that he does connect with are just as unfathomable. Nikki Raines is a nurse he met stateside and is reunited with her in Nowhere To Run (1x10) when she is transferred to Chu Lai. Even before Myron is brought into the hospital with a head wound in Angel of Mercy (1x20) she has already decided that she can't be involved with a soldier who could so easily be lost to the war. With that in mind, she has an abortion - something Myron finds out only after the fact. They somehow reconcile but in the end (The Hill 1x21) she breaks off the relationship unceremoniously and transfers again.
He all too quickly rebounds with reporter Alex Devlin who works for Asian News International. She is much like Myron's father in that her career comes before even her own safety or that of anyone trying to get her attention. When chopper-jock Johnny McKay sends Myron on a wild goose chase in order to be alone with Alex, Myron ends up nearly being killed when he stumbles upon VC soldiers setting up an offense. At first Alex seems genuinely contrite over creating a situation where the two men would fight over her recklessly but her eyes only really light up when Myron angrily spells out the plan to overtake the base during Tet, the Vietnamese New Year. It is the kind of story she could only hope for and sadly, it is the kind of relationship that Myron seems all to willing to participate in.
Alex's constant readiness to hare off on another story exasperates Myron but it also seems to bring out a full-bodied affection from him that translates not only to her but also to his company and especially to Zeke. It is more verbal than tactile and often presents itself when he is doing nothing more than listening. In Saigon Part 1 (2x1) he joins Zeke in a bar by swatting him on the shoulder with his cap and advising him not to drink alone and then listens quietly as Zeke tells him about his father. He nearly shines on Zeke with open adoration.
It is the kind of moment that comes into stark relief to the way he is after Alex is killed in an explosion hours before she is suppose to leave Vietnam for Paris. After realizing that Alex will stay in country for a story but not for him they set a last dinner date only for Myron to witness her caught in a bomb blast. She dies in his arms and her loss, coupled with a lifetime of wrenching losses, devastates him in a way that he never fully recovers from. There is no hysterical laughter this time, only an angry and determined desire to withdraw and a near suicidal recklessness.
He remains a good soldier but there is an edge of danger to him now that leaves those around him worried and often at a loss over what to do. In The Ties That Bind (3x3) he goes on a mission to capture a tax collector while Zeke is in the States visiting his daughter and Jennifer. The mission goes as planned until Myron breaks cover by standing up and shooting the tax collectors two bodyguards and then aiming the gun at the collector, ready to fire. His men talk him down but they are clearly shaken over his actions and it will not be the last time. In Odd Man Out (3x12) his team is assigned to rescue the wife of a local province chief only to find out that she is running away with her infant daughter. When the baby begins to cry while they are hiding from VC soldiers Myron takes the baby and holds a rag over her face to stifle her crying and, consequently, her breathing. It is a long and excruciating moment before the soldiers pass and Myron takes the rag away to reveal that the baby is quite all right although it takes Myron a while to push himself to his feet. Taylor, who has never shied away from letting Myron know what he thinks, shames Myron for his actions although he comes to some understanding of them when Myron tells him that he is willing to repeat those actions if they would save his men. Still, it is a dark and precarious time for him.
There are lifelines thrown out to Myron - most notably from Zeke - but some only add to his growing sense of futility. When he is reunited with his friend Skip Beller from OCS in A Bodyguard of Lies (3x5) he is nearly exuberant but that's violently wiped off the table when it comes to light that Beller was involved in a massacre at Phu An. Beller's eventual demise will result in another suicide as Myron witnesses Beller shooting himself just outside a courtroom in Three Cheers for the Orange, White and Blue (3x19). The addition of Colonel Brewster gives Myron an astute and admirable leader to follow but when Brewster pushes for an investigation into Phu An he is demoted and ostracized by the Army they both serve.
Myron has always been shown to be a heavy drinker - a shot glass looking like the perfect companion for his ever faithful cigarettes - and is frequently played out in a light tone. In True Grit (2x4) he drunkenly laments to a puzzled prostitute about the unfathomable nature of women only to get a dart stuck in her hair. In the more somber Hard Stripe (2x15) he gets a quick shot in before Zeke joins him for another only to have Zeke pour it for him when he is too shaken to do it himself. They are the kind of moments that make you wonder what role alcohol will play in his civilian life and if the amiable and verbal bouts of drinking he takes on will turn to something more self-destructive.
Despite how the war has worn him down and left him possibly even further removed than when he began, he remains clear-eyed and empathetic, his authority hard won and well used.
Zeke and Myron
Home Is Where You Dig It
When Zeke and Myron first meet they are a study of contrasts. Years apart in age, Zeke is solid and square as a boxer and not afraid to get dirty while Myron is somewhat smaller, built like a high school baseball hero and so freshly scrubbed he is nearly pink - although not for long.
They start out at odds with each other with Zeke operating somewhat outside the lines of protocol and Myron doing his best to follow it. Their first mission together is hectic. Myron, who is determined to lead his men into combat, jumps off the helicopter and rallies them towards an enemy occupied tree line. Men are wounded and terrified as they are picked off out in the open until Zeke hauls Myron to the ground with an order of his own: "Keep your butt down, Lieutenant!" Zeke calls in an air strike while Myron is left stung and angry over his authority being usurped. He is full of pride but not foolish so when they come across a large ammo depot Myron calls for reinforcements himself - earning a "Bless your heart" from Zeke.
It's a good start although not the end of their sniping. In Notes From the Underground (1x2) they trade a couple of barbed comments and then agree to investigate dangerous underground tunnels that have left one soldier severely wounded. In close quarters they put their differences aside and finally begin to take a more accurate stock of each other. When they come across a poisonous snake Myron confesses that he's afraid of them. Zeke offers to kill the snake for him but Myron shores up his courage and does it himself, leaving Zeke to admire him for overcoming his fear. To break the ice even further Zeke cheerfully teaches Myron the correct pronunciation for a Vietnamese insult. By the time Myron pleads - "Oh God, please..." - for Zeke to breathe again after a cave in they are already at the beginning of a relationship that will become a cornerstone for both of them. As Zeke will point out later, they learn from each other and soon the sight of them working together is a common one.
Considering the situation that they're in it's not surprising that they make a profound connection with each other. Sudden and violent death is part of the daily equation not to mention the ineptitude of higher-ups and the bureaucracy they have to work within. There is little time or place for even a decent meal much less a relationship as Myron finds out not once, but twice. Still, the connection is made and as their tours drag on it proves to be quiet and unwavering.
It's clear early on that Myron needs a lot of space to become close to someone. When Horn gets too close Myron shrugs him off (Gray-Brown Odyssey 1x16). When McKay tries to talk to him at the showers - when all Myron wants is a soak and a cigarette - Myron dries off and leaves (Hard Stripe 2x15). No one can call McKay a quitter. In And Make Death Proud (3x13) McKay moves into Myron's hooch complete with AC and loud music. Myron's response is to fire a line of bullets into the floor marking his side and McKay's. It's a scene that's played for laughs but the message is violently clear: this is my side and that is yours and they do not cross-pollinate. Zeke on the other hand maintains a careful and watchful orbit around Myron and in the process gives Myron an opportunity to reach out for him. This is illustrated wonderfully in Sealed With a Kiss (2x14) where Zeke and Myron are sent to retrieve a briefcase with classified documents from a downed helicopter. Myron is bitten by a scorpion but instead of going back to the LZ he pushes himself through the effects of the poison to complete the mission and, it could be read, to watch out for Zeke. When they arrive back at base they step off the helicopter with Myron more than a little unsteady. Zeke does not make a show of helping Myron but stays within arms reach - roughly the space Myron needs - and lets Myron hold on to his shoulder - and let go - without comment or complaint. On some level Myron picks up on this and later tells Zeke "I'm glad you were out there with me, sergeant. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else."
Sealed With a Kiss is also notable for the way Zeke has of never forgetting rank but not the same talent for following orders. When Myron begins to feel sick he tells Zeke to take the briefcase to the LZ and send back help for him. Without missing a beat Zeke simply says, "No, LT," and then tells Myron how he will create a diversion while Myron heads to the LZ. Myron goes along but is not to be outdone in stubbornness as he stays on the riverbank and provides covering fire with a handgun. They head back to the LZ together only to have the helicopter leave without Zeke. Myron calls out, "My sergeant! You can't just leave him!" with such possessive desperation that there is no doubt that Zeke means more to him than possibly even he realizes. When the helicopter continues to leave Myron threatens to throw the briefcase out unless they go back for Zeke. Another officer threatens him with a court martial but Myron's only response is, "Now dammit, now!" They go back.
Zeke does sometimes forget to keep his distance as in Angel of Mercy (1x20) when Myron is creased by a bullet. Zeke harnesses both Myron and their prisoner to him as a helicopter takes them to a med-evac where Nikki is stationed. Zeke is so unnerved by Myron's injury that he doesn't realize that he's been shot in the leg until they get there. When a traitor is revealed and abducts Nikki, Myron goes after him along with Zeke. At one point Zeke throws a grenade in a storeroom and then barefoot and clad only in pajamas uses his body to protect Myron from the blast. True to form, Myron seems oblivious to the act but later gives Zeke a look that can only be called adoring.
The Second half of Myron's tour reveals that he has been both humbled and enlightened by his experience in Vietnam. If up to this point it seems that Zeke has been doing all of the heavy lifting Myron begins to show him that he has been paying attention. Zeke has a big mans way of being light handed and Myron begins to mirror it back to Zeke. When they talk they face each other and those beautiful brown eyes of Myron's hold Zeke. Zeke moves into Myron's space only to have Myron call him back when he steps out of it. There are more than a few instances when Zeke is at the door, ready to leave and Myron will remember one more thing to tell him even if it's only to wish him luck.
Myron is also the one who initiates a policy that if Zeke volunteers for a mission then Myron will back him up. In Lonesome Cowboy Blues (2x12) Myron stands in the background and nearly strains himself rolling his eyes when Zeke volunteers for what can only be a suicide mission. Of course, Myron goes with him and wastes no time reining Zeke in when Zeke tells him, "It's best you wait here." Myron looks him right in the eye and tells Zeke, "You're not listening to me. Both of us come back or neither one us comes back. End of discussion. Let's go." Zeke is stunned momentarily and then leads the way. Later in The Volunteer (2x16) Zeke proves that he's been paying attention, too, when he goes back for a wounded Myron and again they come to the agreement that wither thou goest so shall I.
It's a decision that results in both of them being taken as POW's. They manage to escape and at Alex's urging Myron finally decides to take an administrative position for the rest of his tour. It's a hard loss for Zeke although there is nothing to do but wish Myron the best. They share a drink, straddling chairs, mirroring each others body language. Zeke manages to tell Myron that "The men will miss him," and Myron, hearing everything behind the simple statement bows his head and remains silent. It's no surprise that when Zeke goes to leave Myron calls him back to wish him luck.
The death of Alex soon after causes Myron to change his mind and stay but even when he is within arms reach his angry grief has once again set him apart. He becomes withdrawn and volatile and never more so than when Zeke is away in The Ties That Bind (3x3). Shortly before Zeke leaves he tells Myron that he's not sure he should go. Ragged around the edges and unable to acknowledge Zeke's true meaning, Myron tells him not to worry, he'll look after the men. Zeke states his case more clearly with, "To be real honest with you, Lieutenant, I'm more concerned with who's going to look after you." Myron does not acknowledge this either.
Their bond is by no means diminished but for a time it must depend on them simply believing in each other, almost silently, but with no less fervor. The hard times they face with Myron's father losing a battle with cancer and Zeke witnessing Percell succumbing to drug addiction makes each other more and more of a source of comfort and ease.
Sins of the Father (2x13) reveals how well they know each other by how they fight. Taking jabs at sore subjects, never once raising their voices, they end it without apology, still sitting side by side. Zeke picks up that Myron is upset with Alex and Zeke, completely unrepentant, tells Myron that he should get his head on straight before they go out into the bush the next day. Myron is flustered enough to have trouble lighting his cigarette but manages to fire back, "I could suggest the same for you," knowing full well that Zeke had just delivered a baby to an orphanage - a baby Zeke orphaned by shooting his mother who was a sniper. It's the kind of exchange that only people who have decided that they're in it for the long haul will abide by.
In Green Christmas (3x11) they put aside fraternization rules and exchange holiday gifts. At this point there are already large cracks in the wall Myron has put up and you can practically hear the bricks hit the ground as Zeke gives him a small transistor radio. The handful of seconds that Myron takes before he accepts it is very telling about what little he thinks he means to people. He does not waste a moment though, giving Zeke a bottle of good scotch. The look on Myron's face - open and relaxed and with no small amount of affection - as Zeke tells him about his first Christmas in the Army is also very telling and very promising. Later, when they are outside guarding a group of orphans, not unlike Zeke, he tells Myron that it's not often he gets to do such a thing and that, for him, the situation is "almost perfect." Myron, who is unable to keep from smiling around the words, tells him, "And I got you." It is at once an acceptance of Zeke in his life and a declaration of wanting him there.
It is also problematic in that they are still fighting a war and they are still officer and sergeant and there is now the undeniable fact that if one should lose the other the survivor might never recover from the loss. In Odd Man Out (3x12) Zeke once again volunteers to run interference while Myron and the other men go to a nearby village. The pained look on Myron's face as he watches Zeke leave says it all . As time passes, Myron is left to silently choke back his own fear that Zeke might not have survived his mission. When Zeke unceremoniously returns through some tall grass Myron's relief is palpable and breathtaking. The same predicament is played out again even more dramatically in And Make Death Proud (3x13). When Zeke must take a platoon of FNG's (Fucking New Guys) to reclaim an old firebase they are both unable to look at each other although Myron is clearly anguished to send him off. It's with that scene that I finally understood why fraternization rules are in place. It's not because officers are better than sergeants but because it is an awful place to stand when you must send someone you care for personally off to do something that might end in their death. In this case, Zeke and his platoon are left to fend for themselves until morning light when the ground they recovered is overrun with the NVA and VC and Myron is powerless to help him. It's an excruciatingly experience for both of them.
The Road to Long Binh (3x15) is ostensibly about a deserter named Digby that Zeke and Myron must deliver to Long Binh jail and yet it ends up revealing what these two men really mean to each other. When the entire base succumbs to food poisoning from the mess hall Zeke and Myron are the only two left standing since they had their own dinner off base at LuLu's. (Apparently socializing off the clock is good for more than one thing.) Initially Myron gripes about having to take a detail that's only a step above latrine duty but Zeke is more than happy for the both of them. The prospect of time alone with Myron makes him point out the silver lining at hand. Myron finally concedes that he would like a steam and a steak and Zeke seems eager to provide both. The meal starts off with them questioning exactly what kind of steak they're eating and then Myron, all business, goes over Digby's file. Zeke finally complains that in addition to deserting, Digby is also ruining a very good meal. Myron relents and puts the file away. I'm not sure whether to be amused or appalled that Zeke is not above liquoring Myron up with "33" beer to get him relaxed and talking but what follows is an affirmation of every thing that has gone before with each man telling the other exactly what he thought of him the first time they met. Zeke starts if off with, "So tell me, LT, what did you think?" Myron tells him that his father told him about his kind. Lifers. Square-jawed-take-it-on-the-chin kind of guys. "Hate to break in new officers." Zeke reassures him that he considers him a damn fine officer. "Half the time I find myself learning from you." Myron sobers a bit against such high praise and then tells Zeke it's his turn. Zeke is reluctant at first but then peppers his observation with enough "sir's" and mention of rank to take away any sting. He tells Myron that when he laid eyes on him he started calculation his Date Eligible to Return from Overseas Duty (DEROS). "Lord take me home." Myron takes it good naturedly but Zeke continues by telling him that Myron was the first officer he met who was willing to learn the rules that were not written in the book - something that Zeke obviously holds in high regard. "Yes, sir." Again, Myron has to brace himself against Zeke's good opinion of him but he is not to be outdone. He tells Zeke that he was "blessed" with someone who could teach him his job. "You did that." He lets Zeke know that he considers him a fine leader and that he knew that his trust was not misplaced, "so..." They toast each other.
"Blessed" is a wonderfully strong and emotion laden word to use and one that I think had been on the tip of Myron's tongue for a good long time. That have both come from tumultuous histories to find a kind of peace with each other in the most unlikely of places - the middle of America's longest running war.
The series ends with their team scattered to the four winds, some wounded and almost all of them fractured in some way by their tour. Zeke and Myron remain behind with their fates unknown. Without fuss or fanfare they continue to do their best to prepare the next wave recruits for battle. What awaits them when they do come home can only be guessed at but wherever they land it's hard not to imagine that they will somehow find their way to one doorstep or another and be welcomed there. They deserve nothing less.
Tour of Duty References
Mel (henrycat) and DC (dawnchsr) have written an amazing Overview for crack_van that goes into detail about all of the characters and offers a long list of archives, info and authors and artists. Some things are so good though that they bear repeating, so...
Notes From the Underground: Large and active slash focused archive that also includes some great gen stories.
Tour of Duty Info: Wonderful place for character bios, episode guide and real world references for Vietnam by ToD advisor Lee Russell. It was invaluable and inspiring for writing this manifesto.
Tour of Duty at LJ: Stories, videos, icons, art and information.
Dear America: Letters Home from Vietnam: An excellent DVD with simple letters written home providing the narration. It encapsulates a complex war as told from the ground.
Fiction
Realisation by Biblio: An after the war sequel to Resolution that details the stops and starts of Zeke and Myron building a life together.
In the Minds Eye by Creed Cascade: The story that launched an AU. The entire squad consists of paired and bonded warriors modeled after The Sacred Band of Thebes.
The Minds Eye Revisited by DC: Two long arcs that explore the Minds Eye Universe.
Of Obstinacy and Bugs by SnowFlake: A missing scene from Sealed With a Kiss that shows how Zeke supports Myron from a slight distance.
Razor's Edge by Creed Cascade and Major Brat: Life after the war is anything but easy.
Vids
SongVids
Reason to Mourn by Ben Harper/Songvid by Kallie: The vid that took some nice memories of a very good show and turned them into a fandom I can't get enough of. Song and images are seamless.
The Boy Feels Strange by Melissa Etheridge/Songvid by Kallie: The profound changes Myron goes through while in Vietnam as witnessed by Zeke.
Manah-Manah by the Muppets/Songvid by Kallie: Hilarious. I'm serious.
DVD
All three seasons of Tour of Duty are out on DVD. The original iconic '60's soundtrack is missing but after the initial mew of disappointment the characters and stories come through just as powerfully as they ever did.
Your thoughts are welcomed.