Well, shit, I don't really have much constructive to say. I don't think this is too bitchy of you though, because it seems to me that this is less about the money and more about consideration of your feelings.
Also, reading this has been very insightful for me as Laura and I go into our first Christmas season together.
This sounds like the battle I have every year with myself. I had so many disappointments that 'spoiled' Xmas, that now I give him three or four EXPLICIT items, such as; "black or navy plain cardigan sweater, no wool, sz.12" Last Xmas he remembered that I said my favorite nightie was wearing out, so he bought 5 nighties!! He told me he just kept finding them and they were all at great prices. I've already told him "NO more nighties this year! I can't fit any more into my drawer!!" Then again, I have a really hard time figuring out what he will like, and usually end up adding wine or cooking implements, to be sure there will be 'enough'.
I still have an expensive gift(from a pricey catalog) wool dress that I've never worn. It's way too long, and being wool, I can't figure out how to hem it without ruining it. So there it sits.
Can you give him a specific list that includes things you really want and things you could use?
I generally give him specifics~specific books, specific styles/color/fabric for like, pyjama pants or loungewear, this movie NOT that movie. But since the only thing I specified this year isn't an option and he's already bought something, I didn't have a chance to give him a list in the $50 price range.
And I hear you on the nighties. Last year, I requested a pair of jersey cotton pyjama pants~so he got me two pair, and told his family that was what I wanted too, so I ended up with 6 pair of pyjama pants. His parents aren't big on giving gift cards, but my folks would rather give a smaller, thoughtful gift and then give additional cash so you can buy what you want, and I really enjoy THAT system.
I understand completely, and empathize. This is why in our family we make lists, and copy them so everyone knows *precisely* what any one person wants. And if all you put on your list was Nook Reader, then it would be pretty damned clear to all concerned, right? Everyone could chip in, you'd get what you want, and yeah, all is well.
I'm guessing you guys have separate accounts and no joint budget. Not a criticism, just an observation. You might want to think about setting up a third, joint account and working from there, too.
:-) Right! I mean, yeah, the Kindle Fire is like 200 bucks. But had he let his folks and my folks in on the fact (they ask him what I want and vice versa), it wouldn't have been very much for any one person to contribute.
Since I get paid in cash, Zach does the online bill-paying through his bank account (rent, utilities), and my cash goes to groceries and gas. I actually closed my bank account a while back because they were wanting to charge me fees for account maintenance for not keeping enough in it, even though since I get paid cash and it goes straight to the grocery store, I didn't have a need to deposit it.
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Also, reading this has been very insightful for me as Laura and I go into our first Christmas season together.
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I'm not a fan of the "if you REALLY knew me you'd know what to get me!" attitude. I'm more of a clear expectations kind of person.
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I still have an expensive gift(from a pricey catalog) wool dress that I've never worn. It's way too long, and being wool, I can't figure out how to hem it without ruining it. So there it sits.
Can you give him a specific list that includes things you really want and things you could use?
Reply
And I hear you on the nighties. Last year, I requested a pair of jersey cotton pyjama pants~so he got me two pair, and told his family that was what I wanted too, so I ended up with 6 pair of pyjama pants. His parents aren't big on giving gift cards, but my folks would rather give a smaller, thoughtful gift and then give additional cash so you can buy what you want, and I really enjoy THAT system.
Reply
I'm guessing you guys have separate accounts and no joint budget. Not a criticism, just an observation. You might want to think about setting up a third, joint account and working from there, too.
Reply
Since I get paid in cash, Zach does the online bill-paying through his bank account (rent, utilities), and my cash goes to groceries and gas. I actually closed my bank account a while back because they were wanting to charge me fees for account maintenance for not keeping enough in it, even though since I get paid cash and it goes straight to the grocery store, I didn't have a need to deposit it.
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