He should have been after a meat eater.

[shop_bitch]

Damned if I didn't just get hit by a frozen cow carcass. Cars I expect, perhaps even a cyclist - but the hip of a skinless bovine flank? I don't even want to eat cow, let alone be stuck down in the street by one

Comments

[fordmadoxfraud]

Fuck me. Why don't I have your fucking life? Off to Turkey, off to Australia, getting hit with beef... My life sucks.

[phoebesmum]

'Slapped with beef' pretty much has to be a euphemism. Probably for the sort of thing I skip over when reading fan fiction.

Shame to have missed out on the spleen-venting, though.

[shop_bitch]

That little euphemism brings to mind tawdry top shelf porn. Not that I read tawdry top shelf porn, mind.

I think I shall just let the spleen simmer for a brief while and then REALLY lose my cool. Hopefully there will be pretty coloured fireworks.

[agatha_mandrake]

Dare I even ask how you came to be struck by a piece of frozen bovine?

[shop_bitch]

Just minding my own business on the streets in the ghetto, when an errant frozen meat delivery man springs out of nowhere (well, out of the back of his truck) and swings carcass wildly about harming innocent bystanders in the process.

Unpleasant..

[unclef]

London faces a terrifying new threat - innocent pedestrians attacked by zombie cows!
Assuming you survive this undead bovine holocaust, please do vent some spleen if you have time. Spleen is something you vent very well, and the current state of the book trade gets me down.

[shop_bitch]

I'm well on my way to boilling point. Just need a couple more days to seethe quietly.

[shotgunlo]

As one of having a spleen that was once all-too-ready to vent, I'd say bottle it up for something a bit more serious than undead cows.

[unclef]

What's more serious than undead cows?

[shop_bitch]

Absolutely nothing, I say! Surely this is one of the signs heralding the apocalypse?

[unclef]

Yes! It's in the Book of Revelation. Probably. Loosely interpreted.