i can't deal with all these things on my own. i want my parents and my home and my bed. if it were up to me i'd buy a train ticket for tomorrow...

i don't know if i can do this

i miss updating with frequency. i wish i could go back in time to all those blank months in 2009 and any other time i fell off the livejournal updating wagon and write some entries. its interesting and a little heartbreaking to go back and read all the entries that i did leave and see how many girls i chased after and how many different times i had ( Read more... )

life, limbs, liberty. i'm alright

but h.o.l.y f.u.c.k

exams in 3 days.

home in 5.

i. can't. fucking. wait.

now i just have to hope i don't fucking fail...

so much for updating at all, let alone with some regularity. i still find it hard to define my life and how everything's going but i'm ok with that, i'm just along for the ride. all i can do now is have fun, buckle down, do work and do nothing. and winter break aka freedom aka bliss is steadily closer. so, life is good, life is busy, life is hard, ( Read more... )

sometimes my breath gets caught in my chest and its hard to breathe when i think about times in my life that i'll never be able to go back to ever again, people that i won't see, things that i won't be able to do. and it hurts in the sense that, so far, college is not good enough for me to just be able to put high school behind me. i miss my family ( Read more... )

it must be some big cosmic joke at the expense of me that every situation always seems to end up the same. and actually, granted, this one is a little worse and more complicated. i'm pretty sure that i'm done being dramatic and breaking down over girls. but, still, it would have been nice if just once something, anything, had actually worked out.

today sucked. felix left today.. and whenever i think about it i just kind of feel like a really big part of my life is irretrievably gone. and even if i visit felix it won't be the same. and even though i got to say goodbye i didn't really say any of the things that i wanted to or actually tell felix how much i'll miss him. and i already miss ( Read more... )

i'm done with planning. life will come at me and to me no matter how much i prepare and think about the future. that's not to say that i'm going to become completely irresponsible and decadent. i just want to live more in the moment and enjoy life as it comes, basically just not think so much. so far? i'd like to think i'm doing ok.

i just want to find somebody that makes me feel completely comfortable