(Untitled)

[shreena]

Shreena's Question Of the Day..

If a child asked you "Do you believe in God?" and you knew that you held a view contrary to their parents, how would you answer their question and why?

Not arising from a real life situation, just spotted a discussion of it elsewhere.

Comments

[cuthbertcross]

I think a simple "I don't but some people do" or " I do but some people don't" covers it nicely.
If they are old enough to ask the question they deserve to hear the answer IMHO.

[yiskah]

Yes, this exactly.

[shreena]

I agree. But quite a number of people in the discussion I saw seemed to feel that it was wrong to contradict the parents.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=542772

Me, I guess, I just don't believe that it's either realistic or desirable to suppose that parents are going to be the only people interacting with their children.

[pseudomonas]

I don't think it's contradicting them to be different from them. I'd not tell a (young) child directly that their parents were wrong (well, not without OKing it with the parents).

[geekette8]

"Do you" is not so tricky - I'd have no qualms about saying that no, I don't (although depending on the age of the child I might add something like "but lots of people do").

"Why do you" on the other hand, is harder (and very likely to follow on from the previous question). I'm not sure I'd be comfortable explaining to a child of religious parents my reasons for not believing in God, because I wouldn't want the parents to feel I was attempting to convert the child.

[kisobel]

I agree with this - and if the question was 'why do you?' or 'why don't you' I would probably ask the child what they thought about it rather than giving my own views.

[ailbhe]

I'd say what I say to bible-bashers at the door; my views on God are private.

[biascut]

I think if it was phrased as "do you believe" I've have no problems answering, because that means that the child recognises that belief and non-belief exist, and it's personalised. I'd answer honestly, unless the child's parents had made it very clear to me that they would prefer me not to.

If it was "Does God exist?" I would try to answer honestly, but not with a yes/no answer - that I don't think anyone really knows, but belief is different from knowledge. Again, unless I knew his or her parents were strongly opposed to anyone else talking to their children about religion.

[yiskah]

unless the child's parents had made it very clear to me that they would prefer me not to.

This is interesting - I find that I have unexpectedly strong feelings that I would answer honestly whether the parents would be happy with it or not (with the possibly exception of if I was a guest in their home). I suppose I believe that there's a limit to which parents can/should control their children's interactions with the world outside the family. I'd never deliberately try to lead a child down the path of atheism contrary to their parents' wishes, but nor would I be comfortable being dishonest.

[biascut]

I don't have any friends who wouldn't want me to answer that question honestly, so this is hypothetical! On the other hand, I do have a few friends who are (IMO) quite ideological in what they want their children to hear and whilst I've never lied to any of their children, I have changed the subject or changed the way I interacted with them because it was something their parents felt strongly about.

I don't think parents should control all interactions with their children, but, you know, there are certain things I wouldn't want anyone to say to my hypothetical kids when they were small, so I would try as far as I could to respect that with other people's kids.

[clarisinda]

Exactly this. I'd probably answer both questions with "I don't believe..."

[strangelover]

Personally, I'd answer honestly, because I think it's important to be aware of other people's beliefs and to know that to have faith is a personal choice, not something that should be governed by parents, the church or even society.

[helixaspersa]

Like others, I think the 'do you believe?' question is actually one of the easiest versions of this dilemma, because the form of the question in itself makes it clear that the child has a sense that some people *don't* believe. I'd find a small child from a religious family asking something like "what is God like?" or "will I/Granny/the dog meet God when I die?" harder to handle I think.