Part of G/B fanfic - Tears of Time Chapter 19

[shri_tal]

Trying something new. *sighs* That is a big deal for me.

Chapter in Progress. Not sure about what is entirely going on here. It feels necessary...but I worry that Garak may be slightly off. I don't even know if I have enough here to tell. *sighs*

~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~

Comments

[crowdog66]

Hm. I like the culture shock each of them is experiencing -- clearly lines of communication are getting crossed, and they're operating to some extent at cross purposes. To Garak, the reasons for his own behavior are perfectly clear, but Julian is taking those actions as a sign that he isn't good enough/worthy/skillful enough. It's very interesting and more than a little sad.

I didn't find Garak at all out of character here. On the contrary, I think you've nailed him spot-on. And I really appreciate the glimpses you're granting into each of their minds: it makes the scene crackle with energy.

In short, nicely done. :)

[gul_obsidian]

I second the motion.

[shri_tal]

It might simply be the glances into their minds here that is making me read it differently as I have not usually had as much of that, especially with Garak. So that might be why he is reading odd to me.

Thank you for feedback.

[gul_obsidian]

I don't really see any problem with your Garak here. He's having a bit of trouble hiding his emotions, but that only makes since. The hormones are effecting him and then the significance of Julian's nibbling would make anyone, even Garak (or more likely especially Garak), a bit emotionally touched.

There were a few clarity things in the first bit that I haven't seen before. I'll get back to you on that, but I need food first.

[shri_tal]

Yes, Garak is touched. And Julian is clueless. Poor Baby.

Food is important. It is nasty and nutritious...and makes people happy...mostly.

[gul_obsidian]

E-mailed you the finicky stuff.