Seeing them made me realise that I have completely forgotten what that felt like. Maybe I never felt that way in the first place, maybe I did. But I've forgotten.

I am one of the very few people whose friendship you don't have to struggle for. That doesn't mean I can be put at the bottom of the pile, and taken out again only when no-one else is handy.

I am getting very, very, very tired of being taken for granted. Just because I'm unemployed, it doesn't mean I can jump whenever you feel like calling. Just because I'm online a lot and don't have a lot of friends atm, it doesn't mean you can make me the lowest priority in your schedule.

I don't know how much longer I can sustain this fucking tension. If I was in London this would all be so much easier.

I'd forgotten that this is how it goes with you. You don't acknowledge problems; you ignore them, and the people involved in them, and you hope they go away. And when they don't go away,and the people involved get annoyed, suddenly you are shocked! Why can't they be *simple* and *uncomplicated* like you want them to be? Why are they *making trouble ( Read more... )

She really is remarkable.

In January, I posted an entry. I said this-

'And if we can't...well, in Ailsa's words, 'tough, we'll sort something out anyway'. This might have worried me, this time last year, but now it doesn't. It will take more than one busy term, that's for certain.'

As it turns out, it took two terms and a summer holiday.

Oh, bloody hell.  She just had to go and get into my favourite sci-fi author ever.  This isn't fair at all.

It's like staring into a hot, disturbing mirror.

I have not posted for a very long time ( Read more... )

I really miss Ailsa.  We're both super busy this term, now that she's getting back into music and I'm Social Secretary (Publicity) for IRsoc.  So much work.  It's almost like I'm at University.

Anyway, it means we haven't spoken much recently.  Called her today, and that was good, but this term may be a bit dicey nonetheless.  She's coming up to ( Read more... )