I have to learn to let go. I have to be okay with good things happening to other people while I'm away. I have to be okay with them loving others and forgetting about me. I have to accept the fact that they might not like me as much as I think/hope they do. I have to accept the fact that their lives are not intertwined with mine anymore. I just ( Read more... )

It's been about a month since I last wrote in this beast ( Read more... )

So my old landlord won't call me back. I am HOPING he's on vacation and not avoiding my phone calls. He wasn't a bad landlord, so I can't imagine him being such a jerk. The problem here is that I need my deposit back...I needed it back over a month ago now. I have $15 in my account right now, and I have MUCH to do before I leave the country...NOT ( Read more... )

I thought I had let you go, but evidently, that was only a week-long deal. Meh. It felt relaxing while it lasted ( Read more... )

Yesterday was the fourth of July. All in all, it was a good day. I spent the greater part of the morning dealing with this mass on my head called hair. It's long and it's curly, and it's unruly. It's also irritating. Ugh. I met Steph at her house and we departed in my filthy car to Beverly Hills to a snazzy tea. Delicious, filling, and with great ( Read more... )

This past weekend was INSANE. Starting Wednesday, I packed and moved EVERYTHING I own into boxes and then to four different places (Paige's new home, my parent's house, my mom's house in LA, and my new home in Huntington Beach). By the time it was over, I was so exhausted that I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. Instead, I spent the night ( Read more... )

I have just had a three hour conversation with someone who means very, very much to me. My heart is heavy, but we worked out a lot of issues. Both of us have major faults to work on away from one another. It was nice to have things admitted to me, and to be able to admit some things ( Read more... )

So it's Friday. I'm at work and couldn't be more bored than I am right now. Wait....now....oh wait...NOW ( Read more... )

Time does funny things to me...to everyone. The abbot and I had a very interesting conversation about how time affects life--the relationships we have with people, our perspectives, our ambitions. As eager as I am to let time (and God) change things, I am scared to let go. I don't want everything to change. I want some things to remain. The abbot ( Read more... )

I've realized a few things in the past few hours. One is this: I am an unfair person. I have been unfair to my best friend in expecting him to understand me. For heaven's sake! He's a dude! He's never fully going to understand my mind no matter how well we know each other, and it's silly of me to expect him to act a certain way to appease me. I. Am ( Read more... )