American customer: "See, Canadians don't have a sense of humor."

Me: "Actually m'am, us Canadians know the difference between humour and stupidity."

Damn.

I listen to the fading rhythm of your footsteps walking away;

This is the last song my happiness will sing to me

For a long, long time.

It would be me. I swear to God, there is nobody else as round YET FLAT at the same time as myself.
I'd make a perfect female version of Romeo, actually, only I'm not the one to fall head over heels in love at first, but rather, the version of Romeo when he keeps mourning for Rosaline. Whom he met a year ago, not moments ago.

I also realized that a ( Read more... )

I experienced something funny at work today. In the midst of ringing some school supplies in, I had this sudden extreme passion to be called "Mommy" by a little boy or girl. Nothing at all like the sexually-influenced "Mama" from a proverbial "big boy", but from a small child. I didn't think about a husband or anything else. Just wanting to have ( Read more... )

Because he just won't stop rising ( Read more... )

Right now I'm blaming a friend for being so moody; I think some of her "depressionism" got onto me. It's as contagious as the swine flu.

Dear World,

Why?!

Oh why oh why won't you ever listen to me!! I listened to you, from every little detail, and I liked it! Yes, I savoured your attention as if it was ambrosia and honeydew. Yet when I open my mouth to speak, why aren't you there to listen??!!

Inner Voice: Maybe you had too much candy today...

I ONLY HAD 5. YOU FAIL.

My computer is fucked up. The mouse doesn't click properly. Everything loads so slowly. And everytime I'm using the internet, an exasperating number of spyware SOMEHOW end up in my computer and I don't even download anything ( Read more... )

If Miley Cyrus can teach me anything, it's how to move on from old loves, quickly and painlessly.

http://new.ca.music.yahoo.com/blogs/musictoob/15238/miley-cyrusjustin-gaston-break-up-cry-twitter-about-it-and-then-move-on-surprisingly-fast

Oh, how I'd also love to be an emotionless bitch. That would be wonderful, and maybe even boost up my self- ( Read more... )

http://ca.lifestyle.yahoo.com/fashion-beauty/articles/archive/bang/crying-kisser-megan-fox-2009-06-05

So Meg thought being famous meant 'having it all.'  Didn't she ever watch those corny movies with messages like "Not everything is as it seems" or even a cartoon spoof of "A Christmas Carol" (although A Christmas Carol doesn't have a lot to do with ( Read more... )