Lets see... so yeah i think i have changed at least a little. Cause I found myself going to bed lastnight at like 1130/12, so I could get up at 700am on my day off to help a friend paint a fence for her girlfriend. Number one, before i wouldnt have had a job to have a day off, two, there would be no way I'd be waking up at 7am to do anything let ( Read more... )

The phone rings, I don't want to answer it. It really doesn't matter who it is, cause I dont want to talk reguardless of who is on the other end. I still get like that, although I am trying to change it/fight it. And it's funny, cause I long for conversation however, I never want to speak. I'm like a breathing contridiction... and I find so much ( Read more... )

Sometimes breathing isnt easy. Or even desirable. And sometimes you just cant get a breath, all you want to do is breathe. Life can be very complicated if you let it, and confusion comes easily. However, if you just take a minute you can allow your mind to clear, you can find what is true in your heart, and the confusion will subside... but really ( Read more... )

I'm awake early finally!! Let's see if we can keep this up now... good luck. So yesterday I didn't go into work, cause that night I was awoke at like 330am, by the most horrible stomach ache. It really sucked cause I just finally went to bed just after 2am..I kept trying to fall back asleep despite the pain in my tummy. But, that wasnt happening. ( Read more... )

That's it, the tank is on empty we need to refuel soon. As much as I try to deny, the pain won't let me forget. The emptiness eating away at the nothing inside my stomach. I'm going to have to get up soon. Go on a mission to find fuel. Despite my best efforts to not budge from this position this place this chair.

So I slept, what, about 3 hours lastnight. That sucks hardcore. But in those few hours I seem to have had a dream. Completely strange like all my dreams seem to be. I dont know where I was cause I usually dont... but i was somewhere, and Pauly Shore was there, and somehow I accidentally killed him i like strangled him or something, it was like ( Read more... )

how many people laughed when they read my last entry??? I did.. this is pathetic.. ha and thats funny too.

Dude, somebody help me please... i want to die....(sung by adam sandler, in the wedding singer).... I am awake, I tried to sleep, I was in bed since 12:45am, and nothing happened, except for my head flooding with thoughts. So then 2am rolls around I'm thinking that I need new clothes, and how I want to buy all these new clothes, and how there are ( Read more... )

so what if I told you anything true ( Read more... )

sometimes I just get this way. When everything is just going so fast. My head my heart, my body overwhelmed with feelings. And I need to talk to someone, let it out. But I have no idea what it is I have to say. Or I have no one to say it to. I am totally consumed with me, trapped with myself in my body, under my skin. I need to release myself out ( Read more... )