Everything is chaos. I don't know where to start to pick up the pieces. I am now staying at my cousin's, will be here for maybe a month. This whole incident has completely shaken my world apart...I still have to study for a Monday test. Tonight I am going out with the girls, drink a little champagne talk about our lives and what does it all mean, ( Read more... )

Hey there world!
I have been sleeping the days away lately, namely because I am tired. I've started going to the FIU gym and that is basically the only good thing to look forward to through the day. I am still feeling down and blue, but I trust that the pain will dull with time. I miss him terribly, but he needs to be free and I need to let go.
( Read more... )

I am really sad. We had an argument. It kills me that we are so far away. It kills me more that we are far away and arguing. It's the distance that's getting to us, the loneliness is getting to me.
B

I write this with a heavy heart. He is gone and although it is not death I feel so inmune to anything, dead in a far worse state. I cried so much today. I felt like a faucet, except I couldn't turn it off. This makes no sense. I don't make sense. I had to sleep so I wouldn't think about my own misery. I regret so much. I regret not loving him ( Read more... )

I am now rehearsing a.K.a, character analysis. It is fun, invigorating, energetic. I have a booboo on my arm, it doesn't hurt...only when I look at it. Charles just pissed me off, he can really get under my skin. He's such a kid sometimes!!! I love him, though. I love to draw too, but that doesn't make me so mad. Ugrr, whatever, it's stupid anyway ( Read more... )

It is all so unfair! Why should we be given a taste of hapiness only to be taken away? I don't want to do anything. I have need of nothing. I just want to crawl up into a dark hole and die. He was my life.
B

I am really excited! July will bring many good things, I know it! I don't want to tell anybody (except boobie and Belo, of course) for fear of jinxing it. I can hardly type!!! Only a small part, I beg, only crumbs but enough to satisfy my hunger.
B

Yesterday was awesome. I went to a party with my "mans" and we had a blast. We danced all night and our sex poured from every pore. He is the only man capable of making me want him, even when he is just going about his everyday routine. And when he dances...Oh goodness, when he dances the world stops for me. Cocky, sexy, virile...ha ha ha I am so ( Read more... )

I am sad. Of course, it is obvious as to why I am sad. He's leaving. He's leaving and I am staying to mourn and cry. I do not wish him to stay. But it is like salt on my wounds to see him leave.

That Man

That man of taut jaw
and noble mind and soul,
gave me excrutiating pleasures
and broke me into whole.

He tore apart my visions,
he sliced my heart in ( Read more... )

I've been watching reruns of Laguna Beach on MTV and I can't help but to miss my senior year. I just wish I could've done more. If I did more it would have stayed for longer. I also miss Charles, even though he hasn't left yet. I count down the days as I wait for my final sentence. Anyway, focusing on the good things, I started my exercise routine ( Read more... )