i am home. "home." six hours and four states, and even though it's not like flying in that supposedly i'm physically present as the miles go by; technically i am in this car on the ground, i can feel the vibrations from the pavement, i can see the landscape passing. but it still doesn't seem quite real, the however many hundred miles between me ( Read more... )

"collective consciousness ( Read more... )

i can't help feeling that being a virgin at this point is just one more thing in the way, something to set me apart, something to hide, something to feel embarrassed about. why embarrassed? not embarrassed, just, inexperienced, naive, childish. an experience i am missing that is separating me from my peers. at the same time i can't just ignore ( Read more... )

AgoI don’t even know ( Read more... )

i like typing a word into the search part of itunes, a noun or a verb for instance from a title of a song in my head, and see how many songs or albums contain the word. almost always i am pleasantly surprised by songs i had completely forgotten about or had never noticed in the first place.

it's easier to lie.

you're not gone yet; maybe you will never be; maybe i don't want you to be. it's not fair that i have to get rid of you in the first place, of your memory, because of a technicality, because of circumstances that are out of my control (for the most part). how can i be expected to erase you from the landscape of my memory when you are affixed to ( Read more... )

"i went walking round the city some more
people watching with a cold blank stare
and i saw your face in everyone i swear
...i'm so sick and tired of trying to change your mind"

(please change your mind)

from: me

i think i am getting sick. i have that weird, pre-sore throat feeling. the best part about having a sore throat is an excuse to eat more ice cream (not that one is needed). the worst part about having a sore throat is that i don't feel like drinking coffee at all ( Read more... )

what does it mean that i ended up one place and not the other. what does it mean that i made one split-second decision and not the other, completed one connection, broke another, turned my back with anticipation and a clenching in my gut. plus minus pro con wins and losses. but if i know anything, i know that life is not like that, things are ( Read more... )