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what if i didnt feel things the way i did?
what if i smiled all the time?
what if i never lied? what if i never hurt you?
What IF?
whats wrong? oh nothing.. just having one of those days where i wanna run away and hide.
sleeping all day or crying myself to sleep are seeming very appealing today

im glad i called cause i missed hearing the sound of his voice but it sucks when i feel like such shit. this person i have become is my own doing but i hate feeling like this. there is nothing i can do about it because anyway i try to fix it will just end up making it worse. i feel like i have no heart anymore and that feeling that overcomes me is ( Read more... )

ok... inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. this weekend has pretty much sucked. its like a cloudy day with a few momentary rays of sunshine poking through ( Read more... )

ok so this complete entry is all for you. right now i feel like all i ever say or do anymore is all for you. i am completely falling right back to where we started a couple of months ago. i am not sure what that means to you or what that means for us... if there even is an us anymore. i dont know how i feel about you anymore.... all i know is i ( Read more... )

todays events consisted of giving blood this morning and missing math (whoo!) then almost fainting in choir but its cool cause i love choir. then lunch was cool and fun with andy and matt. gym was fun cause the sweetest guy matt gave me his i-pod, which has got to be one of the most amazing i-pods in the whole school, to listen to cause i couldnt ( Read more... )

wow. first entry in my new lj. i think this is like my 7th one or something. haha. so today was an amazing day. nikki and i had christmas miracles and i got to hang out with most of my favorite people. i love my friends. lately i have been thinking and i have so much to be happy about. why should i spend my days being sad and depressed when i could ( Read more... )